Friday, January 30, 2009

SUED

No, I am not being sued. Rather, today is Sue's birthday!
Sue is my second mother. If we were a "godparent" type family, Sue would be my godmother. Or my sister's. Can you be godmother to more than one person? We'll just say Super Fun Aunt, just to be safe.

Sue and my mom grew up together in Smalltown, Alabama, where Sue lives with her family today. They stayed best friends even though Sue went to "the other school." Growing up, anytime we went to Smalltown, we got to visit Sue.

Seeing as how she is the only non-family member that has been in my life since day one, I have so many memories of time with Sue. They range from as simple as playing with her collection of California Raisins at her desk and using up all her office supplies, or constantly eating chocolate kisses at her apartment, to her coming on a trip Disney World with us or getting to be a junior bridesmaid in her wedding to Kyle in 1993. Six years later, they had Jennifer Grace, and it has been a real treat to get to play the "fun aunt" now to her daughter, even though I don't get to do it enough.

Sue could organize a glass of water. She has a knack for directing, planning and making things happen. She's like a little army sergeant. You have to be, to manage kids, stepkids, stepgrandkids, an elderly parent, two dogs and one husband under one roof at the same time. Sue stays busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

But she takes so much on because she is such a giving person. It's truly admirable that she is able to do all that she did/does for her friends, community and alma mater and still be a good mom, wife and friend. She wears so many hats and does each job well.
Suesue, I don't get to see you nearly enough as I would like. I hope you know how much I love and respect you, just like you were an extension of my own mother. One person, two bodies. I admire all the roles you play and what a giving person you are, of your time, resources and energy.

Thanks for years worth of chocolate kisses, cheese straws, birthday cards, spend the night parties, office supplies, but most of all, thank you for loving mom, Jen and I unconditionally, even when we weren't loving each other the same way. Sometimes I've thought you secretly are the glue that holds us together, with your no-nonsense advice and gentle-but-tough love. One day, I will forgive you for those bows you made us wear in your wedding. Love you much!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

CLAYED

Today is the birthday for one of my favorite people ever - Clay!
I first met Clay our very first semester in Auburn. I was dating one of his pledge brothers so I met Clay early in the semester, and ended up getting to know him better than I did the guy I was dating. Smart move on my behalf. Clay and I had two classes together - some lame intro to business lecture (booo) and Organic Gardening, which is a post in and of itself. Basically, the class was a joke. The number of football players is indirectly proportionate to how seriously you should take the class, and I think our entire backfield was in that class with us. So all we did during class was whisper and draw, except Porter, who paid attention. So whenever "Pop Quiz Man" came around, Porter "helped" me, I "helped" Clay and Clay "helped" Bo. It was a nice little system. I also credit Clay with being the only one to correctly predict this victory. He's an intuitive one.

After that dude and I broke up, Clay and I became even better friends. I remember he called me over Christmas break and told me he was considering transferring to a college back home. I cried hard and then called Shealy and we hopped in a car to go visit him and his sweet family in Chattanooga. Then a group of us went to the Chick Fil A bowl in Atlanta on New Year's Eve. Luckily Clay stayed at Auburn.

I batted my eyes hard enough and one of Clay's Fiji brothers invited me to attend their fraternity winter formal in Memphis. Clay was taking Shealy and so the four of us more or less double dated. It was an interesting weekend, but one I look back on fondly.

Shortly thereafter, Clay started dating someone. As happens when new relationships form, we started to grow apart a little bit. A little bit turned into a little bit more and eventually we kind of lost touch. We saw each other here and there, but our different activities took us in different directions.

Fast forward to our senior year, Clay started dating a hot little fox named Sarah, who also happened to be one of my good friends. I can't take credit for setting them up, but I took an interest in their relationship because I knew them both so well. Clay used me as an ally to get into the dorm once or twice to surprise Sarah.

Clay and I enjoyed our senior years so much, we decided to repeat them. One Tuesday in September, we found ourselves on the patio at Bodega for Truth and Tacos Tuesday (we added the Truth part). Over tacos and some cold drafts, we spilled our guts about how I'd hurt him, he'd hurt me, how others had hurt us, highs and lows of the past four years and how fast college flew by. Later that week, I sent him an e-mail that I've excerpted below:

"I started thinking, I guess after our little rendezvous at Taco Tuesday, how you really are one of my oldest college friends, and how fun it is that we can go a year or two without really being that close, and grow in our own separate ways, but get together whenever we want and laugh like it was still freshman year? That's fun. I am going to miss running into you here or there and hearing your voice, half southern drawl/half excitement, "LLLLLLLLLLJ!" I just want you to know that I am having so much fun getting close to you again, and it will be one of my favorite things about my final semester in college."
A few weeks later, he and Sarah were back together. Graduation rolled around and I left Auburn and sought a greener pasture. I was driving back from a job interview in said greener pasture when I got a phone call from Sarah. She and Clay were engaged! I got an even more fun phone call a few weeks later. "Hold on - are you there, Clay?" she said as I answered hello. "I'm here," was Clay's near sheepish reply. I could tell something was going on. "Okay. One, two, three WILL YOU SING AT OUR WEDDING??!!" Sarah shouted. I don't think Clay said anything because unlike Sarah and I, he was actually at work. I shouted "OF COURSE!" back.
Their wedding was such a fun weekend. They are both loved by so many people, including yours truly!
Claydawg, everything I wrote in that e-mail is still true. It's been cool watching your metamorphisis from fraternity boy into family man. Before my sister got married, you were the closest person I ever had to a brother. I hope you know that even though our visits are few and far between, you and your wife mean so much to me and always will.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

CONFUSED

Maybe it's because I'm not with child, but I just can't imagine the need for an ultrasound being so high that I couldn't get to my doctor's office to have one. But just in case, this willing entrepreneur is at your service.

Pregnant readers - is there really a market for this? Please explain.

Monday, January 26, 2009

BREADED

Okay you chefs out there. Lay it on me - how hard is it to make bread?

My grandmother had a yeast starter that we froze after she passed away. I think my aunt has it now. I wouldn't trust myself with Granny's starter. I don't have a pet. I don't even have plants. So I am not sure if a starter - particularly one that is the legacy of my culinary goddess of a grandmother - that you have to feed and maintain is the way for me to go. I just want to know if the occasional loaf of bread like this (once again, thanks Lindsay) is doable, even for an idiot like me.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Warnings?

Friday, January 23, 2009

PRICEY

In case you missed it, Eric was on The Price is Right this week. Behold: screen caps with what Eric was thinking.

See Eric in the top right? Here his name just got called. He lept from his seat and he is in the air:
Here I come, Drew!
It's all about strategy.
A GREENhouse?!?!
Why would anyone want a greenhouse?
I'll give you $1 for it.
Hey... Sweaters!
Hang on... those are nice.
I want the sweaters.
I hope this works...
I WON?!?!?!?
Woohoo!!
Awwww yeah
Oops... this is awkward.
And now I'm outta breath.
Is he still talking about those sweaters?
I guess I could use some living room furniture...? (Note: for an actor, you weren't too good at acting happy with your prize.)
Pick a pair you say.
I'll take the dog food, please!
Go for the hand soap!!!
Aw crap.
I didn't want that living room furniture anyway.
Thanks Drew!
Spin baby spin!
Ta da!
Unfortunately, that's where his game ended. No showcase showdown, no living room furniture, no scuba diving gear... just a bunch of expensive sweaters.

Love you Eric!

WINEY

Last night was the Bacchanalian Society event that I missed last year. This year, guests were allowed to preregister which guaranteed entry... for all 1,400 attendees!

Here is my team - Amy Winos. We were really pleased with our team name. We had a great time.
The event took place in the lobby of our big performing arts center. There were tables of wine in the main grand lobby and on the smaller second and third floor lobbies, so three floors of wine! Here is the view from the third floor. This was taken near the end of the night so a lot of the bottles are emptied (laying down).
I ran into Mehgan and Doug! I was sooooo jealous when about two minutes after this picture, Doug won two tickets to see Legally Blonde!
The event was so much fun. While a lot of people were really into the "tasting" part of the evening, I was just there for fun. Some people were taking copious notes on bottle after bottle, but I didn't feel like weaving in and out of thick crowds so I just enjoyed whatever wine was near me. Along with the spread of wonderful food! The snacks they had set out were amazing.

So, the first-place team took home 240 bottles of wine and the second and third place team took home a ton too. Unfortunately, none of those teams were Amy Winos. At least all the proceeds went back to TPAC. If there is not one of these in your city, you should organize one. DC? Atlanta? I'm talking to you!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

BELIEVING

Today is January 22. Do you know who was born on this day? Nobody that I know very well, but someone worth recognizing - Steve Perry, the voice of Journey.

In honor of Steve, we are going to talk about "Don't Stop Believing." Did you know this song was the most downloaded song in the 20th century on iTunes? And the 74th most downloaded song of 2008?

Why is this song so great? When was the first time you heard it? What is your favorite memory of this song? Discuss.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

SOUPY

Remember last week when we talked about the physics behind pouring liquid from one container into another? And how to keep it from going everywhere? Some smart people told me to pour faster and use a lipped container if possible. Okay, smart people. Consider it done.

But tell me - who do I blame when I quickly pour my hot, brothy soup from a lipped container into a bowl and this happens?

Don't be confused: I didn't drop the bowl, I didn't whack the bowl, I didn't even touch the bowl. That bad boy cracked all by itself. I poured my soup in, just like I have done hundreds of times, and was putting the pot back on the stove when I heard a loud crack! and next thing I know, soup was everywhere. And as you can see, this was noodle soup, meaning it was about 90% yellow sticky broth and 10% noodle. It. Was. Everywhere. All over the floor, all over the cabinet, all over the microwave, all over the dishwasher - the only thing it didn't get on was me. I was so angry, I didn't even bother to clean it up until after American Idol.

I'm only eating solids from now on. Screw you, liquids.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

JENNIED

Now for the most important post of the day: today is a very special day. Not just for Barack, but for my sister as well? Why? She's turning 28! Happy birthday, Sister!!
If you know either of us well then you know a few things: 1. We are pretty opposite 2. Because of that, we haven't always been super close. She wanted to pour hot coffee on my head when I was a baby. And she wasn't shy to tell people that either. But we have learned it is okay to be different and I really appreciate the ways in which we aren't alike. It enriches our family!

My sister reminds me more and more of my grandmother every day! Not only does she look so much like her but she inherited Granny's supreme culinary talents, too. Having the curiosity to try new recipes and the patience to get the dish just right is something she developed early on, and now she can do anything from an Italian cream cake to a 30 minute meal.

It's no coincidence that January 20th is her birthday. She has always had an interest in government, politics, history and tradition, so it's entirely fitting that she was born on a day that celebrates those. As soon as I heard that Jamie shares these same interests, I knew they were going to end up together.

Even though she lives far away in DC, where she is pursuing her own goals and dreams, we remain close. Today she is happy as a clam, attending the inaugural parade and one of the inauguration balls. Have a great time sister! Happy Birthday! I love you!

NEW

I hope you all had a great weekend. I caught up with some friends, babysat for three wily doggies, and generally laid pretty low and watched a lot of TV. Not the TV you'd imagine though. I watched some classic movies that I hadn't ever seen (aka took advantage of someone's On Demand).

First up, I watched the Seven Year Itch. My first Marilyn Monroe film. I really liked it! I am going to add Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and Some Like it Hot to my queue. I also watched Coal Miner's Daughter. It was really good and made me appreciate Loretta Lynn even more. Finally, C and I watched Sweeney Todd. We went to see the play back in October, and had been waiting for the film to come up on my Netflix queue. It was really good. A little gory but otherwise wonderful. Johnny Depp's talent knows no boundaries.

One other point of interest: Last night C and I tried a new dish for dinner. We wanted something we could make and enjoy that night but would also have plenty leftover for some lunches. On a whim, I remembered this recipe I'd seen on a friend's blog. We decided to go for it. We followed Lindsay's recipe for the most part, but we added sausage to the ground beef and used more than the quantities indicated - as in the whole can of Ragu, the whole half pint of sour cream, the whole box of noodles and extra cheese, duh. I just heated up some for my lunch and it was delicious! This will become a repeat dish, I promise - thanks Linds! The best way to serve the dish? With some white wine, french bread and a showing of Paul McCartney: Back in the US.

Friday, January 16, 2009

FORTUNATE

1. So it was announced yesterday that Elton John and Billy Joel are coming to Nashville. Together. I kind of started hopping up and down in my chair and panting a little bit when I read this. I think attending this concert would be akin to watching Michelangelo and Da Vinci paint together. Tickets go on sale next Saturday. We're going. It's happening. Let me know if you want to come with! See you soon, Elton!

2. I reorganized my desk yesterday. Previously, I had photos and supplies kind of everywhere. Organized, but everywhere. And I never felt like I could properly focus or that I had room on my desk to do billing and other paperwork. So yesterday afternoon, I decided I wanted to move the work stuff to one spot and the photos, mementos, decorative stuff to another. My desk is shaped like an L with my computer in the middle. So now I have all my work files, calendar, phone, basically all things official, to my left. Then to my right are all the picture frames and a bulletin board I made with a stapler and some ribbon. And my diploma is on the partition behind me! It looks much cleaner and more efficient and everything flows. And I have much more space! Hooray, organization.

3. C and I went to see The Wizard of Oz on Tuesday. I didn't know what to expect. I was not aware that it was ever on Broadway. It was really good. Dorothy, even through her overacting, was great as were the other main characters. Surprisingly, when the lights went up at intermission I noticed in my program that Dorothy was being played by this underwhelmer. Glad she found a role that suits her. My favorite scene was the Munchkins. They pick 12 children in each city where the tour stops to play munchkins (one of them was Trace Adkins's daughter). My least favorite scene was this song I thought was so random and horribly out of place until I read that it was actually filmed and recorded for the movie but cut in post-production: the Jitterbug. Yes, in the movie's original script, the WWoW sends a pink and blue dancing bug (the Jitterbug) to into the haunted forest "to take the fight out of Dorothy and her friends. When the Jitterbug bit one of the characters, he/she would start dancing helplessly." I thought that was the dumbest song in the history of musicals. I completely understand why they cut it from the movie -- it didn't flow at all. But nonetheless- the sets were bright and colorful and clever and the talent was great; Jitterbug aside, I really enjoyed it.

4. Lots of other fun things coming up - a holiday Monday, Inauguration/sister's 28th on Tuesday, Bacch Society on Thursday, possibly the circus next weekend?, a baby shower for Little Baby Fufu and more.

5. I just feel really fortunate right now and I had to share. It's like I told C on New Year's Eve: It was a very challenging year, but at the end of it I still had a job (let alone a job I adore), a roof over my head, a reliable car, friends, family, etc. It's been so cold here in town and I've even seen people trying to sleep on the grates on the sidewalk. And then the whole plane thing yesterday... I just feel really blessed, really grateful and really happy.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

QUESTIONABLE

I had an early-morning event this morning. No, not this early, but when the client is arriving at 6:45 a.m., that means I am getting up early, much earlier than I am used to at least. Dark outside = too early.

So anyway, I considered washing my hair last night to buy myself some time this morning, but ditched that plan and instead opted for the scrunch. When it works, it's a quick fix. The problem is, my hair doesn't always feel like being curly and so it's hit or miss. And this morning my hair was not in the mood. Not helping, I decided to try a lower power setting to see if it would make a difference. It did. For the worse. Bad idea. Note to self: always use higher power setting; my hair needs the heat. So anyway, I head to work thinking what a bad hair day I am going to have, and sure enough, it was in a ponytail by 8 a.m.

Fast forward to 10:45 a.m. when I am in the elevator heading to a meeting with one of my male coworkers. Literally, while I began saying "I am having such a bad hair day" he says "your hair looks so good today!"

Of course it does. Boys. They are so weird. Girls--has this happened to you too?

NERVOUS

Taxes. What a tease.

I have chronicled my tax experiences here before (2007 part A and part B; I didn't chronicle it last year because a story about me writing a big fat check to the government is not worth reading).

So we got our W2 forms here at work yesterday. I will of course send all my stuff to Star's mom to assemble for me (we've got a deal going), but just to get some kind of expectation if I will be on the giving or receiving end of the check this year, I logged onto Turbo Tax. I am still missing a w2 from the job I had for half of 2008, as well as forms from the bank with information about my savings bonds I cashed in 2008, and wasn't sure where to enter the hefty sales tax I paid on the new car (or if the government even cares about my new car at all).

Which is precisely why, when the little Turbo Tax calculator thing at the top told me I'd be receiving hundreds of dollars back from Uncle Sam, my heart both sang and sank. It SANG because I just knew that pesky government had been taking more than its share from my paycheck. Those withholding amounts seemed high so I was hoping I'd get a significant portion back. However, immediately after that fleeting moment of joy, my heart SANK because I knew that number isn't accurate seeing as how I had not yet entered a lot of information. And according to my sister, the savings bonds will really tear into that figure. Curses! I should never have done this to myself. That number is only going to shrink.

If you use an online tax program, for you own sake don't look at the number until you are ready to submit. It'll just break your heart.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

PHYSICAL

We've already discussed how I am not the smartest person ever, especially when it comes to physics. We used to have to watch videos in physics class of different experiments and why physics made the outcome one way or the other. "Physics types" is how the guy in the video would refer to his viewing audience. Personally, I think "bored types" would have been a lot more accurate. Isn't accuracy the most important thing about science anyway?

Even if my lab partner was pretty smart (thanks Elizabeth!) I still managed to learn nothing--unless you count learning how to deal with Slamb (physics teacher by day, cheerleading coach by night). In light of that, if one of you "physics types" out there could explain to me how successfully pour liquid from one vessel into another (i.e.: coffee from pot into my mug; water from cup into my vase of flowers; soup from pot into my bowl) without it trickling back down the side of the vessel and going ALL OVER THE COUNTER EACH AND EVERY TIME, I would really appreciate it.

Does it have something to do with the angle? The frequency? The pitch? The velocity? The density of the liquid versus the humidity in the air? The rate at which the liquid flows divided by the number of times I've already wiped the kitchen counter that day?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

BLESSED

Today is my uncle's birthday. In a few days, it will also be my aunt's birthday. However, she shares a birthday with my sister (lots of January birthdays around here), so I am going to combine my aunt and uncle's birthday love posts in order to give my sister her own day.

My aunt and uncle are on my paternal side of the family. However, they still remain in my mom's, my sister's and my own life like nothing ever changed. They have been there for us and helped the three of us out (even when it was the four of us) in ways I will probably never know.

They met and got engaged after only dating for a few weeks. More power to them - I'd have been scared to death. But they made it work!

My uncle is a really hard worker. You'd have to be, to work for your father. But he did for years and still runs the business he and Pawpaw started. He helped take care of them until their dying day, again in ways I'll probably never know. He has remained a leader in our family. He even walked my sister down the aisle at her wedding.

Meanwhile, my aunt could rival Martha Stewart with her crafty skills. She majored in Home Economics, which means if she had to she could make a men's suit from scratch. She can make anything. She made my birthday cakes growing up; made my Alabama Junior Miss dress when I was in high school, and then after Granny died, she made the three of us girls a cookbook with Granny's favorite and most used recipes.

When I think of my aunt and uncle, I think of community. They are rich in community. They have lived in the same house for years, and are very best friends with their neighbors. Of course, they were all very best friends before they were neighbors, but living right beside each other certainly didn't hurt things. I long to cultivate the friendships that my aunt and uncle have.

Aunt Debbie and Uncle Eddie - I hope you both have a great birthday. Sorry 70 is getting closer by the day. Thanks for all you have done and do for my mom, my sister (and Jamie) and me. I apologize for always eating all the rolls and mashed potatoes. Thanks for always laughing when I would launch into the Nutty Professor while everyone else was trying to talk. Thanks for watching my and Jennie's concerts we felt necessary to perform every holiday until she was 10. I'm sorry I told you we couldn't watch anymore football together because you are too loud. I am so blessed to have you guys as my family and I hope you know it.

The whole family

Monday, January 12, 2009

GOOD

This weekend was an interesting juxtaposition of activity. I loved it.

On Saturday, as I already mentioned, I spent the majority of the day on my feet. Albeit, I was wearing a fancy dress, tights and crocs for most of the day (don't worry, I put on my "party shoes" when the guests arrived). The reception was Gorgeous with a capital G. First of all, almost everything was white. White linens, white flowers, etc. I love all white. Secondly, the bride's cake was iced in white but was actually the most amazing chocolate cake I have ever had, a flourless fudgy concoction. Delicious. Third and most important, she had a mashed potato bar. Mashed potatoes and chocolate cake? That's a good night waiting to be had, let me tell you. Even if you are working nearly a 12-hour Saturday.

Then on Sunday, I had lunch with a friend and then saw Bride Wars with MB. It was pretty funny; the only thing about it that disappointed me was that I paid $7 for a matinee ticket. What in the world? Then I came home and "tidied" up my apartment until it was Golden Globes time (using the term "tidied" really loosely, of course, but I did start the dishwasher and run a load of laundry [side note: does anyone else find it harder to care about a clean house when you live by yourself?]). Anyway, I watched a few minutes of it before heading to C's house, where we decided to get some pizza. Then we watched the Globes on delay so as to forward through commercials and boring speeches before settling in for the night with a crackling fire, a glass of our respective spirits of choice (his: Beam and Coke; mine: chardonnay) and Burn After Reading. It was... interesting. Definitely the work of the Coen brothers. So I watched three different feature length presentations on Sunday.

I worked hard, and then I rested hard. It was a good weekend.

GIGGLY

If you like Broadway, I bet you'll think this is funny:

Sunday, January 11, 2009

LILLIED


Take home some flowers from the reception? Don't mind if I do!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

DRAMATIC

So today is the free workshop for the improv class Evan and I were thinking of taking. Not only am I not gonna be able to take the class, but I can't attend the workshop this afternoon. There is a big wedding reception tonight and I am heading into work in a bit.

However, I did play charades last night. Not improv but close. My team did awesome. We only missed two or three words. I drew Sears Tower and Napoleon Dynamite. The other team had to act out the words we came up with, including Barack Obama (harder than you think), All American, Conway Twitty, Knights of Columbus, Brooklyn Bridge, Paul Revere... Some of the words my team (successfully) acted out were gutter guard, Tila Tequila, aerator, Jeff Goldblum and nuclear medicine.

Friday, January 09, 2009

SMILEY

1. My sister and I have missed our ship. I found this web site yesterday, and if we'd put our thinking caps on a long time ago, we'd be running it - Postcards from Yo Mamma. People send in e-mails from their mom. My sister and I could have our own section on this web site. Go check it out if you haven't before.

2. According to UPS.com, my Uggs have landed in Memphis. Hooray. I am so excited. They will be here Monday, if not before!

3. American Idol starts next week! Which means that four anonymous male friends* and I have circled our wagons and are ready for the 2nd Annual American Idol Challenge. It's not too late to join us, but you should know that we play hard. Wear a helmet.

4. Guess who has to go back to Best Lie... again! The disc they gave me with all my computer data on it is funky. When I paid the big bucks to have them back up the hard drive before sending it off (twice) to Geek HQ, on the form they gave me I wrote "please make sure to get the My Photos and My Music folder." Well guess which two folders I absolutely cannot find? I even go to My Documents, and those folders are missing. Morons. I called yesterday and just as I was afraid of, I have to drive back over there with the disc so they can look at it themselves. Fact: I'd sooner jump off a cliff than deal with them anymore. If anyone would like to volunteer to take this on, please let me know. I hope someone from Geek Squad or Best Buy is reading this. They should be monitoring their internet presence. You suck.

5. I registered for the 2nd Bacchanalian Society tasting party yesterday. Last year we got there late (not my fault) and walked for probably a mile in the freezing cold only to find out the event was full. Not this year. It's at a different (better) venue AND my team and I preregistered. We will be there with bells on. If you live in Nashville, come join us!

*I would post their identity, but I'll leave it up to them to come clean. I mean, four males and one girl? Sounds like a fantasy football league, not American Idol watching game.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

FIVE

I got an e-mail from Mark this morning (note: If you don't know who Mark is, then the rest of this post won't make a bit of sense to you and you should probably stop reading).

At first I thought it was spam. All it said was

Subject: Dec 10
JUST FYI.

I wrote him back and asked why he was sending me spam. While reading his reply I quickly caught on that the e-mail was not spam; rather, a not-so-subtle reminder of when his birthday is so that he too can get some love on my blog. I quote: "Long time reader, helped you get this dream job, listened to your family issues from time to time, featured you on a poster around campus, even have a picture of you and me in my office, and who is the greatest male in the world? Wes Bonds. Or maybe Eric Dunlap. Neither of whom you would have met without CWE by the way, so you are welcome AGAIN."

I wrote him back and said first of all, Wes and Eric are close to but not the greatest males in the world (no offense) and secondly, if they were, it would only be because they learned from you. I have Dec. 10 on my calendar and rest assured, Mark, there'll be a post waiting on you when you get to work log-in from home that day.

The subject changed after that and a few e-mails later, he mentioned that today is the first day of CWE training. I did some quick math (a near impossible feat for me) and realized that my first day of CWE training? WAS. FIVE. YEARS. AGO.

I'm sorry? What?

I almost fell out of my chair when I realized this. Am I that far removed? The greatest class of counselors ever to walk through the doors of Foy 189? Are we that long gone?

I know lots of you reading this were there that summer - what was your favorite memory? Tiger Auctions? Cobbler duty? Freebies? Napkin Mask man? Learning the dance for the end of War Eagle Welcome? Watching Derek's outrageous group cheers? Brant playing that teacher? Eric as Clay Aiken? David pretending to be a date rapist, and Blake supplying him the pills? Hearing Lauren say "fra-tuh-nit-y" house, or Christen say "Jinfer, yew just tawked to heem!" Yoga with Sensei and Katina in between sessions? Or Clayton knocking you onto the ground eight times in one summer? Oh wait, that one's just me.

Man, I miss CWE. I hope those new people know what they are getting into and just how lucky they are!

Bonus: Remember the prophecies David and I wrote? I dug them back out. So funny. Click here to download a PDF copy and see whose has come true. When the page opens, scroll to the bottom and click the button for the free download, and then enter the password. Hint: It's on the corner of Glenn and Dean.

SORRY

Reason why I still have faith in humanity: I left my phone in my car yesterday. I didn't bother to go get it, figuring I wouldn't miss anything I couldn't get to from my work computer.

Imagine my surprise when I get to my car and see my phone, my precious beloved Monica, not IN the car but ON it. I put her there when I put on my coat and never looked back. Poor phone was freezing cold to the touch. I can't believe she stayed there all day and wasn't stolen or rained on or anything else. Wow.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

BENEVOLENT

Just so you know I am not totally greedy, I am sending people stuff for free while I ask for it.

I bought a bag of Sour Patch Kids from CVS on Saturday. It was a Christmas candy which meant it was a) 50% off and b) filled with red and green Sour Patch Kids!

The red kind are my absolute favorite candy in the whole wide world, so I knew I would have a half bag of green Sour Patch Kids by the end of the day week. I used Facebook to put out an APB to find out who likes the green Sour Patch Kids. Eric responded first, meaning soon he will be receiving a box with an opened, half-eaten bag of candy. He's so lucky.

BULLETINED

Will you do me a favor? Yes, you.

I am obsessed with Chanel Chance eau de parfum. It's all I wear.

Last Christmas, when my mom gave me a new bottle, she included in my stocking a tiny sample size bottle. It was just the travel sized, .05 oz sample vial that they hand out in stores (when they have them). It was either pay $5 for this little guy, or pay $5 for shipping. So she got the tiny bottle and I loved it.

Until the wreck, when it was a casualty. It got jarred in the car and in my haste to get out of the street, I didn't grab it when I was taking everything out on-site. When I went back to tell the car goodbye, the tiny Chance bottle had fallen out of the car and been stepped on. It was lying in pieces semi-underneath the vehicle.

So since then, every time I go in a department store I always ask the fragrance counter (and the Chanel counter) if they have any samples of Chance. No one ever has had them! I am always told to check back near the holidays because that's the only time they have them. So I did and I've already got three. I'm stocking up! So clearly, if I go back and ask the same people, they are going to get suspicious.

So to you people out there, living not near me in places far, wide and exotic like Birmingham, Auburn, Chattanooga, Tuscaloosa, Warner Robbins, Atlanta, Charlotte, etc., please go to your local Belk's, Macy's or Dillard's even and ask the fragrance salespeople if they have a tiny sample bottle of Chanel Chance perfume. If you are so lucky as to get one for me, let me know and I will send you my address. In return, I will write your birthday post early!

Thank you very much for your attention to the matter. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

RICH

Dear Neilsen Ratings Co.,

Normally, I would have been ecstatic to receive a free $2 in the mail:
But when it comes the same day as this:
You lose.

Thanks,
Lindsay

Monday, January 05, 2009

WESSED

I have decided that in 2009, I will write about my friends on the day of their birth. I did it for my mom last year and it was wildly popular (mostly among her circle of friends that read my blog). If you don't get written about, then I guess you need to be a better friend! Ha.

Today is Wes's birthday. When I first met Wes I was very skeptical of him. He had just begun dating Jennifer and unfortunately, my opinion of him had been formed from the grumblings of someone who a) had a crush on Jennifer and b) turned out to be not that great of a person himself. Reason No. 6,234: he stood me up as a date to a wedding that Jennifer and Wes were also attending.

Naturally, Wes stepped in valiantly as The Best Replacement Date Ever (TBRDE for short) and I recognized that he was not only a good guy, but we had a lot in common. I hate that I let someone else's petty mind cloud my own for a few months, but all was not lost.

Horrible picture but worth including - our first photo together/the weekend I realized Wes was not so bad!

Shortly after that wedding, Wes called my cell phone one afternoon. I was really surprised to hear from him. I was even more surprised when he told me why he was calling: he needed my help with asking Jennifer to marry him. Naturally I agreed to assist him and a few weeks later when I made the trip to Auburn for the LSU game, packed safely in my purse, wrapped in tin foil, stapled into the corner of a plastic bag, encased in duct tape, and wrapped again in tin foil, was Jennifer's beautiful engagement ring. The next day I slipped it to Wes while Jennifer was at the table (albeit with her head turned) and she was nonethewiser until a few weeks later, when they went to the beach, Wes asked, she said yes, and the rest is history.
Official re-enactment photo taken at Auburn v. Florida game, a few weeks into their engagement. Notice I am handing him the ring, and notice Jennifer is looking and pointing in two different directions.

In June 2007, I was honored not only to sing at their wedding, but serve as a bridesmaid. During their engagement and marriage, as I continued to get to know Jennifer, I grew to know Wes and am happy to count him them both as friends, individually and as a couple. I think that is a pretty sweet deal. And I think he counts me as a friend of his and not just some friend of Jennifer's who was grandfathered into his life by default, but you'd have to ask him to know for sure (though he did send me a birthday present all by himself).
Me and the happy couple, June 30, 2007.

Conclusion: I am a big Wes fan (forgiving the time he called my blog uninteresting). He's half as funny as I am, twice as sarcastic, has the hair and humor of Vince Vaughn, likes American Idol, some e-cards, wine, cats and taught me how to play Guitar Hero.

Happy Birthday Wes! Bet you think the blog is interesting now, huh? Unfortunately, I don't ship birthday presents like you do, so guess you'll have to make good on that plan to visit Nashville if you want it.

BEST

I did this two years ago but didn't feel up to the task last year (sorry Margo). But I have been working on this for a few weeks now, so here it is, back by popular demand, My Best and Worst of 2008.

Best Song
1st: "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)", Beyonce
2nd: "4 Minutes", Madonna & JT
3rd: "Hate How Much I Love You", Rihanna

Worst Song
1st: "Lollipop", Lil Wayne
2nd: "Pocketful of Sunshine", Natasha Bedingfield

Best Movie
1st: Wall•E
2nd:
Dark Knight
3nd: Stepbrothers

Best Month
June

Worst Month
October

Worst Commercial
Saved By Zero
Anything Political
Anything by Sonic

Best Netflixed Movie
Gone Baby Gone
Run Fat Boy Run

Best Musical/Play
Avenue Q
Sweeney Todd
Rain

Most Embarrassing Moment
Dropping my underwear downtown
Living in a city that ran out of gas

Best New Adventure
1st: Running the Half Marathon
2nd: Tap Dancing
3rd: Trying out for Don't Forget the Lyrics

Worst New Adventure
1st: Homelessness
2nd: Carlessness
3rd: Computerlessness

Best Purchase
Car
Monica
Tap Shoes
Real Uggs (coming soon in the correct size)

Best Decision
Accepted a new job
Joined Netflix

Worst Decision
Skipping Spice Girls concert

Best Fashion Trend
Scarves

Worst Fashion Trend
Gladiator shoes

Best Cheer
Passing the Poms
Chinese Olympic Cheer

Best Concert
1st: Kanye in Atlanta
2nd: Tim and Faith at Symphony Hall
2nd: CMA Fest
3rd: Idina Menzel at TPAC

Best Discovery
Photo Booth on Mac computers (sessions 1 and 2)
Wine from a Box
The Nashville Predators

Worst Discovery
The Dress Was Actually a Nightgown

Best Moment at Work
Garth and Trisha
Biggest Event
Tim and Faith

Best Gift
Friends Season 10 Disc 3

Best Song I Wrote
"Bass Pro Shop Blues"

Best Breakthrough
Curls in my hair
Lady Antebellum

Proudest Moment
Crossing Finish Line
Getting the job offer

Best Earthquake
Earthquake in Nashville

Best Artwork
Guitar

Worst Day
September 23

Best Effort at Being Domestic (Culinary Division)
A pie from scratch

Worst Effort at Being Domestic (Culinary Division)
The Tomato Soup Incident

Best Attempt at being Domestic (Non-Culinary Division)
Learning to cut hair
Learning to make hair bows

Best Idol Performance
Syesha, "Vanishing" on Mariah Carey Week

Worst Idol Performance
Teri Hatcher on Idol Gives Back

Biggest Waste of Money
MRI

Most Flattering/Creepy Message
My fan

Best News
I Got the Job
We're not gonna do this

Worst News
Feet are still growing

Best Dance
Dancing Coach

Best SNL Skits
I'M six!!!
The Lawrence Welk Show
I Think He Likes You
Grady Wilson's Put the Fire Back

Best Customer Service
1st: Canon
2nd: Pei Wei

Worst Customer Service
1st: Geek Squad
2nd: Geek Squad
3rd: Geek Squad

Thursday, January 01, 2009

NEW

Bottle of Chardonnay: $11.
Steak special to go from Outback: $9.99.
Red box movie you didn't watch: $1.08.
Ringing in the New Year quietly at home while five miles away your Mom was singing on stage: Priceless.


Goodbye, 2008. You had your fun, now get the eff outta here.

Here's to no wrecks, no crashed computers, no job hunting, no homelessness, no broken cameras and only immeasurable health and happiness in 2009 for each and every one of us.

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