Monday, January 29, 2007


Well done, loyal readers. Melinda won Miss Congeniality AND was selected 4th Alternate to Miss America. Not to mention 2nd Alternate to Quality of Life (community service award). She racked up. It was a good night. Funny blog posts will now ensue.

excited top 5 tears

Friday, January 26, 2007


PLEASE do me a favor!

Go here and vote for sweet Miss Alabama for Miss Congeniality. I lived with Melinda my sophomore year of college, and if there's an award at Miss America she deserves besides the title itself, it's Miss Congeniality! The winner will be announced live Monday night during the 2007 Miss America Pageant.

I mean, how many girls can you share a DORM ROOM with and by the end of the year, still think she's the nicest girl in the world?

Vote over and over and over again! And tell all your friends to do the same! Or else no more blog posts!


I've said it before and I'll say it again - I hate American Idol Audition episodes. They are awful. I hate watching and listening to whiny wannabes screeching out Stevie Wonder songs and becoming pseudo-famous in the process. These clowns are insulting to anyone who can carry a tune. It's like two different shows - Auditions, and then the real American Idol. I hate auditions. Loathe watching them.

...Enter one Ian Benardo, wearing chinchilla and an attitude.

Fox needs to give him his own talk show. He is HILARIOUS. The best worst contestant. I want to meet him. Let him be the host instead of Seacrest! Heck, let him be a JUDGE!

Listen for:
"I'm like, have some tea, you British piece of crap!"
"I'm totally going to be the next American Idol, and you will be definitely cwalling me on the phone saying, 'Ian, can we hang out?' and I'll be saying 'No!' and I'll be hanging up."
"Anyone who saw me dance comes up to me on the street and says, 'Ian, you are fantastic!" and you know what I say to them? 'Thank you, I know.'"
"Hiiii, howya been?"
"When America sees this, they're going to forget about Taylor who? Carrie Under-where? I mean, Fantasia when? But they will remember Ian... Ben-ardo. And that's gonna happen. That's not my phone - that's yours."
"I am here to be the next American Idol. I thowought that it would be a nice addition to my already lowong and impressive résumé."
"And this is chinchilla, and I'm wearing it specifically to show the world how wealthy I can be."
"Cwalling Glowria, Glowria..."
"Nono, I'm not going to have a BRITISH person tell me what an AMERICAN idol is."
"Rubbish? That's British for garbage? Like, what is that? Like, rubbish. Who says that word, even?"
"Do you even have a working Visa to be here? I wanna ask you that. I wanna see - No, as a tax-paying American, in my country, I wanna see a working Visa because I don't think you're legally allowed to be here."
"Mr. Bworing out? Who are you!? Oh, I've had it with this one. Oh, this is the most ridiculous thing ever."
"Becwause he's a mowron, that's why. And second owff, he asked me what I'm doing when I leave here. You know what I'm going to be doing? I'm cwalling National Geographic to let them know that the dodo bird is not extinct, it's in there. And its name is Simon Cowell, heeey."
"How do I think I went? I'm going to be buying my own ticket to Hollywood, first class, because I have the money to do that. That's first owff. Second owff, Hollywood is New Jersey with celebrities. It's not even that great."
"Pwaula Abdwul didn't even twalk on my behalf. She's sitting there, like she's in the middle of World War 80, what's wrong with her? She could have twalked. She could have opened her --- ----- mouth and said something."

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Yesterday, around 4:15, I was summoned upstairs and outside to watch what instantly became my favorite Nashville tradition - The Elephant Parade!

Coatless, I stood in the 38-degree weather with my co-workers to watch the precious elephants walk up the street! You see, the circus is in town, and the elephants are transported via train. They were unloaded from their car yesterday afternoon, then paraded the short distance from the train tracks to the Gaylord Entertainment Center, where the circus takes place.

I love how they hold trunks and tails. SO CUTE! I think I want one.

Monday, January 22, 2007


Brilliant. I want to immediately befriend whomever wrote this skit.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


So, after close and frequent inspection of Carrie's autograph (read the post below this first if you don't know what I'm talking about), I decided to break the word down, letter by letter.

I believe Carrie. I think it really does say 'love.' If I am fortunate enough to meet her again, I might recommend that she either stick to hearts (which is how she autographed my friend's CD) or take a handwriting class, because most of her fans probably do not have the energy to analyze autographs like I do.

Anyway, as you can see below, I broke the word down to 4 letters.

The L is obviously shadowed in pink.
The O, in blue, is just bigger than we all gave it credit for. I was taught that O's only have one loop, but in a state that starts with an O (after all, Carrie is from Oklahoma) they probably train young minds to dedicate an extra loop to this all-important letter. So after completing the L, she made the first loop, and to close her O made the second loop.
The V, in yellow, is just rounder than we Alabamians are used to seeing. She departed the O to make the hook of the V, and rather than pointing its bottom, she rounded it out.
Lastly, the E. In her haste, Carrie only wrote half an E (I took the liberty of completing her E). I'm sure she meant well, but without the semi-circle lower-case E's are known for, her E has been masquerading as a R.

So there you go. My vote is cast and I think it says love.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Good news - I FINAAAAAAAAALLY had my first official celebrity encounter since moving to Nashville. This has been a long-awaited occurrence, so I had high expectations for said interaction.

It all started when my friend started working at my office. As we became pals, she noticed my obsession with celebrities, especially ones that live in Nashville. So one day she came into my office to tell me that her friend who works for a large music company gets to attend Number One parties and bring guests. At these parties, the writers of number one songs, and if they're in town, the artists that make them famous, get presented with awards and plaques marking their success.

So my friend tells me that she told HER friend how celebrity-crazed I am, and her friend invited me to attend one of these Number One parties with her. Guess whose party it was coming up? Carrie Underwood's, for "Before He Cheats."

JOY OF JOYS! She is my favorite artist on the radio right now. As soon as I saw her on Idol, I told everyone else I knew that watched the show that she was going to win. When she sang "Alone", the deal was done for me. I LOVE Carrie. I told my friend I would definitely make that party.

So last week she gets the call from her friend in the business that the party is scheduled for Jan. 17. I knew I'd be traveling back to Nashville that day from a business trip, so I crossed my fingers I'd be back in time to go.

Well I ended being back in Nashville plenty early that day, so I had a lot of time to primp for the party. In typical girl fashion, 20 minutes before I was to leave, I still didn't know what I was going to wear. I pulled together an outfit and headed toward Music Row.

Whilst I was driving back to Nashville, I had been contemplating slipping Carrie my phone number at the party. She gets kind of lonely here in town - she has said so in interviews! Who does she shop with, or go to the movies with? She needs a BFF! I'm sure she doesn't really know her neighbors that well, and everyone else she probably knows are other stars or people that work for her. We're the same age - and I need a church buddy... I mean, it could work really well. Besides, where better to give her my number than at an industry party? It's like I'm cool by association instead of some stranger that meets her in Kroger. Face it - she needs friends here, and so do I. It could be a match made in heaven.

Well, all of that was until I got to the party and saw her in person. SHE'S TINY. TEE-NINY. And BEAUTIFUL. Faithful friends will remember that I have actually met Miss Underwood in June 2005, at a CMT taping. Fresh off the Idol Stage, she was by NO means heavy. Just normal: healthy and trim. Yesterday, however, I discovered that being CMA Female Vocalist of the Year has done her well. She is now ridiculously little and jaw-droppingly pretty. No wonder Faith Hill got mad - she's just jealous of her stunning physique! She's not eating-disorder little... just petite and tiny and gorgeous. She was wearing a white shirt and skinny jeans tucked into brown leather boots. You have to imagine that the boots and jeans add an extra inch to the circumference of her twiggy little legs, which makes me wonder not only how gaunt her calves are when NOT stuffed into jeans stuffed into boots, but furthermore, how she stands without wobbling about like Bambi!

Naturallu, I determined I simply could not be best friends with someone that annoyingly small and perfect and pretty, at least not before having liposuction.

So I stand in the back of a very crowded lobby until I find my friend's friend. We listen to the writers make speeches, someone from the publishing company makes a speech, then Carrie makes a little speech. Everyone poses for pictures with their prizes and plaques and autographed Louisville Sluggers, then they turn Carrie loose to face the masses. My friend's friend, understanding and APPRECIATING my fascination for all things famous, helps me get to the front of the room, where I wait patiently for my turn with Miss Carrie.

Let me also say that I had ransacked my room trying to find something for her to autograph. I even called my friend for suggestions. She told me, though, that her friend, as an employee of the publishing company, wasn't allowed to ask for autographs, just pictures, so I might not be able to get anything signed either. I told her that was cool, anyone can FAKE an autograph, but everyone would believe a picture. I mean, we'd be breathing the same air. It doesn't get any better than that! But always prepared, I put a sharpie and an index card (lame I know) in my purse just in case, in a moment of boldness, I asked Carrie for an autograph. (I think I'll keep the sharpie in there. You never know when your next autograph opportunity will come... in my case, in another 8 months?)

So after some kids shove their way to the front of the line (I mean, who does that...?) it was my turn. I smile brightly and ask "Carrie, may I take a picture with you?" As if she had a choice. I was already standing beside her with my arm around her before I'd even finished talking.

My friend's friend was ready with my camera, and after taking the photo, she stepped forward and asked Carrie to sign the CD cover she'd brought with her to the party. SO MUCH FOR NOT BEING ALLOWED TO GET AUTOGRAPHS! While Carrie signed her CD cover, I bashfully pull out my lame index card and ask her to sign it for me.

"Should I make it out to anyone?" she asks, most likely while thinking, 'Why the hell didn't you buy my CD?'
"Lindsay would be great."
"-Ey?" she asks as she muses, 'As in, are you rEallY asking me to sign an index card?'
"-Ay, actually," I correct her.

I watch as she signs the card, then happily accept it and my sharpie marker back from her. "Thanks so much! I appreciate it!" I stammered before I tried to casually saunter away (even though what I really wanted to do was put her in my pocket, take her for a burger, and talk about who does her perfectly curled hair).

My friend and I meet up with our mutual friend to show off our autographs. It was then that I noticed what Carrie had written:

click the picture for closer inspection

SHE SIGNED IT LOSER! She thought I was a loser for asking her to sign an INDEX CARD! I know I have fallen victim many times to the mind-slip of accidentally writing what you're thinking/saying, not what you're supposed to be writing. I was so embarrassed! I knew I should have stopped and bought her CD for her to sign instead of being THAT GIRL with an index card! My friends looked at the card:

"It doesn't say Loser!"
"What does it say then??"
"Later? Lover? Maybe she wants you to be her LOVER!"
"That is very clearly a 'S'... Oooh, maybe she wrote 'laser', as in, let's be best friends and go play laser tag!"

Discouraged, I drowned my sorrows in a Bud Light and cheese from the spread of goodies we were standing by, until I noticed Carrie had been whisked to a glass office in the front of the building. My friends and I eeked closer and closer to the door to the glass office while they dared me to ask her if it said 'loser' or not.

At that point I realized I had nothing to lose. If she already thought I was a loser, then so be it. If she hadn't thought I was a loser, she surely would after I asked her, so either way, she thinks I'm a loser. So as she emerged from the office, I asked her.

"Excuse me, Carrie, does this say 'Loser'?"

She stares at me and then at the index card.

"It says 'Love!'" My friends and her people start laughing.

"I thought so," I said, "I was just making sure. I mean, you can call me a loser, that's still a good day for me!"

She laughs. "I try to stay in the habit of NOT insulting my fans," she goes on.

Meanwhile, my jaw is on the floor. I'm thinking 'OH MY GOSH. It's happening - we're becoming best friends! She's still talking to me! And we're joking with one another! She likes me! We're CHUMMY!'

"Dear Lindsay, LOSER!!!! Carrie Underwood!" she jokes. "No, I promise it says 'Love,' I just have the handwriting of an 8-year-old boy."

"No you don't, I was just checking! Thanks!" I laugh as we each go our separate way. Clutching my index card, I am on cloud nine as I float out the door, head home, and start thinking of what the tabloids will nickname us when we become inseparable (suggestions welcome).

So at work today, people have been laughing and calling me a LOSER all day long, because my friend told them about mine and Carrie's little interaction. But you just wait - one day, some reporter is going to ask Carrie about a funny story involving a fan or fame and she'll tell about the girl that thought she signed her autographed LOSER. We'll see who the loser is then!

Cast your vote - Loser or Love?

Sunday, January 14, 2007


We came, we saw, we conquered!

The wedding was great, from start to finish. Jennie looked beautiful and everything went off without a hitch. Totally worth the effort. It was perfect. They are so happy.

I promise that when I'm back in Nashville (where I plan to stay), I'll write a lot more commentary and post PLENTY of pictures on Facebook and in my Webshots album. Until then...

Bridesmaids' Luncheon
Rehearsal Dinner

Make up
All ready to go!At the chapelUnloading the dressSistersFamily
Jennie's bouquet paid tribute to Granny & Pawpaw (wedding rings) and Big Daddy (badge)
Flower girls

Unfortunately there are no pictures of my favorite part of the WHOLE weekend: Saturday morning, around 8 a.m., when sister crawled into my bed. For me, those quiet 20 minutes were the best part of the entire day.

And yes, I did catch the bouquet.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


It's here! It's here! It's here!

After four and a half intense months of planning, fighting, stressing, crying, driving, shopping, showers and of course more planning, my sister's wedding is FINALLY here! I go home tomorrow for the LAST time until ... Easter?... for the wedding, which is on Saturday!

Pray for good weather, pray everyone stays healthy (as of right now, the groom and I have colds), pray there are no major "incidents" involving family, caterers, etc.

Dresses for bridesmaids luncheon and rehearsal dinner? Check.
Accessories for both dresses? Check.
Shoes to wear with bridesmaid dress? Check.
8 bow bouquets for rehearsal? Check.
A 20 minute DVD featuring pictures of the bride and groom + family and friends? Check.
A sign to put with the wedding favors? Check.
All the silver picture frames in my room for use at the reception? Check.
Best Maid of Honor speech known to mankind? Check.
Pills, alcohol and lots of Kleenex? CHECK!!!

Thursday, January 04, 2007



TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - After hiring Nick Saban, the NCAA decided that Alabama should go ahead and be awarded next year's national championship.
"After we saw Saban come to Alabama by walking on water from Miami, we knew that the University of Alabama had hired a coach who is beyond an ordinary man. With Saban at the helm we just knew that no one would be able to beat them," said NCAA representatives.
Despite Alabama going 6-7 with their only "quality" win over a good Hawaii team, the NCAA knows a winner when they see one.
"He is like a demi-god of a coach," said Mal Moore.
A local fan was asked about how he felt about the situation, and expressed his excitment:
"[We regret that because the fan had no teeth, his words were inaudible]"
Saban said it was a great moment for the University of Alabama-Tuscaloosa and celebrated the occasion right after he finished paving the streets of Tuscaloosa with gold just by the touch of his hand. At the celebration, Saban turned water into cheap two dollar wine after his supporters ran out of their own supply. Then, when there was only one basket of KFC chicken masterpiece left, he ordered it to be passed around, and a miracle occured and all were fed! There was enough KFC left over to feed 5 more alabama fans (or one large fan!). After the party, Saban ascended into heaven upon the wings of Angel Dale Earnhart and will reside there until the 2008-2009 season.
Alabama will split the National Title with Notre Dame, who by NCAA and BCS rules will always be a national championship, regardless of record or talent.

-thanks to David Freshwater for writing such a great "article."

Monday, January 01, 2007


It's a new year, everyone! I can't believe soon this blog will be a year old. I am so glad I started it, even if only for myself. It's been a great venting tool. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for occasionally providing inspiration and ideas for posts.

I can't usher in a new year without recapping the old one. Therefore, I present my Best and Worst of 2006 List! I have been editing this list for almost 2 weeks now, so enjoy reading what--in my opinion--were the highlights and downfalls of the year.

Best Song
1st: "Promiscuous Girl", Nelly Furtado
2nd: "How To Save a Life", The Fray
3rd: "London Bridge", Fergie

Worst Song
1st: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies", Panic At The Disco
2nd: "Chain Hang Low", Jibbs
3rd: "HonkyTonkBadonkadonk", Trace Adkins

Best Movie
1st: Talledega Nights
2nd: Dreamgirls
3rd: Devil Wears Prada

Best Month

Worst Month

Best Commercial
Citibank - Two Old Ladies ("Shoot, sounds good cause it's free!")

Worst Commercial
Anything Political
Anything by Sonic

Best Rekindled Friendship
Male: Jonathan
Female: Christy

Best New Adventure
Ice skating with my sister and cousin

Worst New Adventure

Best Weekend Visitor

Best Purchase
1st: My beautiful bedspread

2nd: Home Alone on DVD
3rd: Leopard Print Shoes from Target

Worst Purchase
$200 worth of wireless equipment (it all went back to CompUSA, don't worry)

Best Vacation
1st: Cruise with JB
2nd: Memphis to see Katie

Best Engagement
familial: Jennie and Jamie
non-familial: Jennifer and Wes

Best Decision
1st: Moving to Nashville
2nd: Moving in with Christy
3rd: Skipping the AU-UGA game

Worst Mistake
Moving Home

Best Fashion Trend
1st: Layering
2nd: Empire Waists
3rd: Tights

Best Discovery
So You Think You Can Dance?
$6 bottles of Macaroni Grill Chianti

Best Breakthrough
Taylor Hicks
The Fray

Worst Breakthrough
Kellie Pickler
Britney Spears' crotch

Proudest Moment
Receiving my job offer letter
AU-FL game with my sisWatching a former roommate be crowned Miss Alabama

Best Fire
Feb. 17, Les and Jamie's Rehearsal Dinner

Best Day
June 21 - birthday
(Honorable Mention: July 15)

Worst Day
May 29 - moving
(Honorable Mention: December 20)

Best Cruise Ship
Large: Carnival's Holiday
Small: Gaylord's General Jackson

Best Single Use of the Word "Damn" In One Sentence
"I was just holding it, and then all a sudden my stomach was just like, damn B***, you got me ****ed up! So like, it just like, pushed itself out." - Sumthin'

Best Multiple Use of the Word "Damn" In One Sentence
"Don't act like you're a damn 12-year-old, damn excited to be staying at a damn hotel. Get your ass in the bed!" - Coach Propst

Best Excuse
"We didn't know Louisville was in the EASTERN time zone!"

Worst Excuse
"It must be lost in the mail."

Best Reason to Make Fun of Alabama
5 in a row!
No one wants to coach them!

Best YouTube Video
"Leprechaun in Alabama"

Best Imitations
1st: Shakira
2nd: Miranda Lambert

Best Prank
1st: "Miranda Lambert" calls Riley
2nd: "Teefney" calls Ryan
3rd: Deletesaurus Facebook group

Best Reality TV Show that I Love to Watch
American Idol

Worst Reality TV Show that I Love to Watch
Flavor of Love

Best Dance
Elliott and Tanya at Wildhorse

JoyBeth and Jason at Wildhorse
Michael at his wedding

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