Wednesday, June 27, 2007


I found these two quotes and decided I like them a whole lot:

"But oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearless on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort, of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, A Life for a Life, 1866

"The road to a friend's house is never long." -Danish proverb

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Has anyone seen my sense of judgment and discernment? If you find it running around, please send it back. I need it ASAP so I don't do anymore stupid stuff like this:

-Yesterday I finally put my flatscreen TV up in my bedroom. Now I can watch DVDs or VHS tapes whenever I want. So last night, after 3 hours of errands and gym, I installed the TV, I cleaned up my room, packed my bags for today and basically got everything taken care of so I could relax in my bed and watch TV. I decided I wanted to drink a glass of lemonade while I did that.

I should also tell you at this point how obsessed I am with my bed. The sheets and comforter are all white and perfect and I get really anxious whenever I think the cleanliness and pristine whiteness of my bed is being compromised. Look how pretty:

So I'm not sure why I decided it would be a good idea to drink a glass of pink lemonade in my stark white bed. But I did. I was really careful and even got up to refill it and got back in the bed without any problems. I was getting out of bed one final time to put the glass away, brush my teeth and call it a night, when I threw back the covers with my left hand, which hit my right hand holding the lemonade and lemonade spilled all over my sheets. Not on my comforter, thank goodness, but all over my sheets. So, at 10:15 last night, I had to wash my sheets. I didn't want to sleep in sticky lemonade sheets, and I didn't want the pink to stain.

So, I learned my lesson: No more food or liquids in/near the bed. I feel like a 3-year-old.

Perhaps even stupider than this story is what I did on Saturday. I had to take my car to get fixed - again - and my friend gave me a ride home. She told me that she might not be able to take me back to pick it up but to call her when I hear from the mechanic and we'll play it by ear.

So later in the day, the mechanic calls me and tells me all the stuff that's wrong with my car. It would cost me an arm and a leg. He then lowered his voice and told me how he did a lot of work "on the side" since his brother owns a parts store and he can get the parts for cost. He offered to do it for a little more than half. He also told me the shop would be closing in August so they wouldn't be able to fix anything past August anyway and that he guarantees his work. We hang up, and after some deliberation, I call him back and give him the green light. He promises to have it ready by 6.

6 rolls around and he calls to tell me he's got about 30 more minutes of work left. I call my friend to find out where she is, and she's unable to come get me. Not wanting to leave my car with the dodgy mechanic overnight, I exhaust my options only to find no one is available to take me to Tom. I call him back to see if someone can follow him in my car to my house, but he says no one else is at the station. Then, Tom the Mechanic offers to come get me.

Not having any other choice, I give him directions to my house. He promises to call when he gets off the interstate, which made me glad because I planned to RUN out of my apartment complex and be as far away from my apartment as possible so he wouldn't know (exactly) where I lived.

The ride wasn't too awkward. He told me all about how he does service calls for little old ladies that get flat tires, and I should save his number in case anything goes wrong. We arrived at the the station, he gives me my key, I give him a check, and flee to my condo.

Looking back - WHAT WAS I THINKING? My mother told me not to take rides with strangers. Once again, I feel like a 3-year-old.

So, in summation, if anyone sees my thinking cap, please overnight it to me before I do something else I regret.

Monday, June 25, 2007


Lion King.
Legally Blonde.
Little Mermaid.

Just when you thought Broadway couldn't get any better, they are go and announce what could be will be the greatest show of our time.

Yes, those genuises in New York are making a show centered around the rise to fame of arguably the hottest celebrity to come from this generation.

I'm talking about CLAY AIKEN, of course!!!

Songs include "Quakin' for Aiken" and "Burnin' Hunk of Clay." Can you believe it?

What great news! If you think I'm kidding, read more about the show here.

They'd better not be making fun of him...

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Dear Jessica Biel,

On behalf of all the women in the world who screamed, danced, clapped and/or cried our way through Justin Timberlake's recent concert tour, I'd just like to say - WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

You stupid, selfish woman. You are lucky enough to bask in the presence that is JT, but for months you DENY that you're in a relationship? This blows my mind. Unless he made you sign a confidentiality agreement, there is no excuse for this behavior.

Let me put it to you this way, Miss Biel. Let's say I had lunch with - let alone happened to be dating - Justin Timberlake. I'd be telling everyone. I'm talking renting billboards, calling radio stations, doing the morning talk show circuit, and airbrushing it on a T-Shirt and/or license plate: "I DATED JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!"

Because you see, Jessica, not everyone gets to enjoy the company of such a genius (a beautiful, talented genius). So if I were to be graced with such good fortune, I'd want the world to know about it.

So on behalf of women around the world, for God's sake - STOP denying the rumors. Hold his damn hand. Sit on his lap if you want! I don't care. But don't waste our time and pretend that nothing is going on. We all know it is and we all hate you for it. But because we love Justin more than we love ourselves, we want him to be happy. So please give him the love and affection that we would so generously provide if only he'd let us. He deserves it.

In summation, stop thinking of just yourself, Jessica Biel. Millions of women would happily spend time with Justin Timberlake, myself included. But he didn't choose me, he chose you. So do us all a favor and stop denying it. Own it. Quit pretending and stake your claim. Stop taking him for granted and start taking pride in the glory that is Justin Timberlake. You owe it to us.

Thank you for your time.

I hate you,

Thursday, June 21, 2007

HAPPY (update)

Well folks, it was a pretty good birthday. 24 won't be so bad.

When I mentioned in jest to one of my co-workers that for the first birthday ever I wouldn't be blowing out a candle, she sweetly brought me a leftover muffin with a lit candle in it. How nice was that? Then later, I learned someone was going to make a "cake store" run (luckily there was no time - I'd have felt guilty... but thanks for the thought).

We had a happy hour after work, which was great. Then when I left work, I went to dinner with another friend and enjoyed good food and good company.

Then... I came home and had 5 cards and a package waiting on me! How fun!

My friends - old and new - really are the best. Thanks to everyone who sent something, promised to send something, facebooked me, called me, texted me, organized a group lunch, organized a happy hour, complimented my birthday glow, complimented my birthday outfit, teased me about my birthday outfit, or joined me in reminding others it was my birthday ("too"). I felt so special and loved every minute of it. Just ask the people at my office, who had to deal with my obnoxious giddyness all day.

Who thinks we should have birthdays more than once a year?


IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day had an interesting start. You see, Monday I learned that today is also the birthday of another lady here at work. Everyone loves her. She is not a good one to share a birthday with because is so popular. As soon as I found out it was her birthday, I got sad because I knew her birthday would eclipse mine (at least to some people). She is also the lady that writes our weekly calendars and e-mails them to the whole staff. So to be modest she intentionally left her birthday off this week's calendar, which is no one's fault but her own.

But people remembered anyway.

One of these people that remembered happens to be our receptionist. She is this sweet tiny little woman (think grandmother in Wedding Crashers - attitude + northen accent).

So this morning, I bounce into work, wondering what excitement my 24th birthday will hold, and notice I have 2 voicemails. "Let the birthday begin," I think with a smile.

The first one is an all-staff message from our receptionist. "Hello everyone! I just wanted you all to remember that today is our bright, sunshiney dear Susan's* birthday! Don't forget to wish her a great day!"

UMMMM HELLO? It's my birthday too! But then I see that I have another voicemail and think - oh, this must be her follow up, realizing that it's my birthday too and she feels bad.

"Lindsay, it's (Receptionist). I sent you an e-card, I hope you have a great day."

HOLD THE PHONE - Did the first voicemail cut off? Did I do something wrong? Just because Susan* elected to leave her name off of our weekly calendar, she gets a voicemail in every single body's mailbox reminding them it's her birthday!?!?

Now, all day, people have been going "Aww, it's your birthday too?" YES IT'S MY BIRTHDAY - there's no "too" about it!!! Just because I a) did not get an all-staff voicemail in my honor b) have not worked here as long as Susan* c) bought my own birthday lunch DOES NOT make my birthday any less important!

I think I should get a do-over next month!

PS: *name changed to protect the popular

PPS: In case you were wondering what I got myself for my birthday, I bought myself $80 in medicine from Walgreen's, a $27 dry cleaners bill and a $42 bridesmaid dress alterations payment! Happy birthday, me!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Is anyone else sick and tired of the word SKETCHY? I could never hear this word again and be just fine.

It's especially irritating when people (my mother) shorten it to just "sketch," as in, "that/he/she is so sketch."

Futhermore, if you must say it, use it correctly. If you are describing a person, place or thing (noun), it's "sketchy." If you are describing a verb or adjective (action or behavior), then you are now using an adverb, and in which case, you must add an -ily and say "sketchily." That is the rule! I better start hearing people running around saying "sketchily."

"He is sketchy."
"He acts sketchily."
"He was acting sketchily."
"That story is sketchy."
"His excuses are sketchy."
"This place is sketchy."
"He is behaving sketchily."
"It was really sketchy."

Note: It's not anything against the people that use it (but slightly against those that live it), I'm just saying. I am ready for a new word.

Therefore, I introduce to you: DODGY.

"He is dodgy."
"He acts dodgily."
"He was acting dodgily."
"His story is dodgy."
"His excuses are dodgy."
"This place is dodgy."
"He is behaving dodgily."
"It was really dodgy."

I think we should all start saying "dodgy" instead of "sketchy."

(Unless you are using sketchy in its original meaning - giving only outlines or essentials: "The rough draft for this Press Kit is still very sketchy." In that case, you're fine.)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Ignore the setting
Ignore the screaming
Listen to the talent
And buy your tickets today!
PS - God bless you, Eden Espinosa (= this Elphaba).


Today I learned that John Mayer is a good writer.

But not of music (well, not solely of music).

His blog is hilarious.

I like him so much more now!

Saturday, June 16, 2007


So, last night I added something to the list of things I cannot do well. Cornhole.

I mean, how many inches in diameter is that circle anyhow? 6? 7? It is not as easy as it looks. And no, you DON'T get points if the beanbag only touches or bounces off the platform. It has to STAY on the platform (which could have used some artwork, but that's just my opinon).

But I tried, which is the sad part. I tried and I sucked. But if I hadn't have been trying, I think my poor Cornhole partner would have been a lot more frustrated (visibly, at least) with me. Or maybe he was nice because he knew I'd come write about it on here if he'd been a meanie. Luckily for all of us, he was pretty patient with the athletically challenged. And by the way, I still blame the beanbags.

It's a good thing there's other stuff I can do well (like dance to the radio when it's not my turn to throw). Who needs cornhole anyway?!

Friday, June 15, 2007


When did greeting cards become so expensive?

When we're paying as much for a greeting card as we do for lunch, we have a problem.

Thank God for Wal-Mart and their 99 cent cards. They'll work for some occasions. But other times, you want a special card. One that creatively conveys your elation about your friend's marriage or birthday or portrays your dismay at someone's loss. And in those cases, you'd better have $5 in your pocket, because that's what a good card and the postage to mail it is going to set you back.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Today, 74 years ago, the greatest man I ever knew was born. Unfortunately, he is not here to celebrate with us. Shame on cancer.

In his honor, I am posting the AU Creed. I never realized until writing this blog how much of the Creed corresponds with Big's life. Big Daddy didn't go to Auburn, though he was certainly defaulted into the AU family by the rest of us. The last weekend of his life, I was at their house with my mom and was studying for my weekly Camp War Eagle test. I said the Creed for him and when I was finished, asked him if he liked it. He nodded.

If he was as old or poetic as George Petrie was, I'm sure he'd have written it first.

"I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work.

I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully.

I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men.

I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities.

I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all.

I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.

I believe in my country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God.

And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it."

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


This week's list:

1. The check engine light in my car. All check engine lights. All engines. All lights. All cars.

2. TMobile for not warning me that I was going over, WAY WAY over, my text messages (I blame L.A.)

3. (Not-so-)Permanent retainer wires that cut my tongue when I am eating breakfast. All permament/nonpermanent retainers. All wires.

4. Two 2-hour long meetings in one day. All 2-hour long meetings. All meetings.

5. "Threatening" people that are pushing other people around (and/or out the door).

6. One-uppers. Teachers. Two-cents tosser-inners. Anything you can write, I can write better-ers. If you want something done right, or if you want to show everyone that you can do something right, or if something was right in the first place and you just have to contribute, DO IT YOUR OWN SELF IN THE FIRST PLACE AND I WILL DO OTHER STUFF INSTEAD!

That's it for me. What's stuck up your crawl this week?

Monday, June 11, 2007


Over the weekend, I did three things I've never done before. What an adventuresome weekend.

1. The Sisters Jones were staying at my house for Jennifer's bachelorette weekend. We laid out at the pool on Saturday afternoon, then had an uptown dinner at Cabana. After some confusion regarding underage policies at our bar of choice, we headed into Cadillac Ranch (by way of Wanna-B's) where we found a mechanical bull and one bored mechanical bull operator. Seeing a gaggle of skirt/dress-clad women eying his bull, he struck a deal with us: the bride could ride for free and the rest of us could go 2-for-1. I have never seen $20 come together so fast. Jennifer went first, and as she was nervous about riding a bull in her cute dress, the "bulltender" (what I named him) gave her a slow, 20-second ride until she delicately and gracefull slid off the back of the bull. Two more girls went before I shed my flip flops and approached the machine.

I didn't want to swing my leg over the beast, primarily because I am not a cowboy, and secondly because I was wearing a dress. Bulltender spied the opportunity to come over and assist me as well as blow his chance at a tip with an unwarranted slap of my ass on his way back to his station. I went around and around and around, until the bulltender made the bull spin with frenzy. I tried to hang on, but before I knew it, I was on my back. Good times.

The rest of the night was fun. All the girls rode the bull, a feat impressive by itself, and we all took turns completing the dares that were on "Girls Night Out" scratch off cards that one of the bridesmaids brought with her. Everyone dutifully completed her mission (some of us two or three missions) and it was a fun night.

2. The next day, Jen, Beth Ann and I waited in line at Pancake Pantry for a delicious breakfast, something else that was new for the weekend. I have only driven by the Pantry and seen the line; never have I waited in it. The coffee, pancakes and bacon were good; the service was not.

3. After they left my house, I engaged in my third and final new thing for the weekend: I went to see a movie alone. This was not the crisis situation people make it out to be. There is a new movie coming out every weekend in June and July that I want to see, so I knew if I didn't get started, I'd run out of time. And besides, it's not like there's a lot of socializing to be done during the movie anyway. I got to go see the film I wanted to see (Pirates 3) when I wanted to see it (matinee hours). It won't be the last time I do it (planning to go see something else this weekend).

Lastly, something else happened this weekend that is NOT new or fun or exciting. The "Check Engine" light came back on in my car again.

Friday, June 08, 2007


It's officially summertime: the air is stifling hot, the college students are gone, and of course - the Rednecks are in town!

You see, every June the CMA Music Festival comes to Nashville and brings with it many talented singers and overzealous fans. It is both one of my favorite and least favorite things about living in this town. Let me first tell you why it is high on my least favorites list.

Mainly it's the traffic. As if Nashville wasn't crowded enough, all these fans come to town and take up good parking and good tables. It's kind of like a hurricane: for the hours that they are all in LP Arena for the concerts, it's bliss. The eye of the storm. You can get anywhere you want without traffic or a wait. But as soon as the concerts are over and they parade back across the river, it's pandemonium. Good luck going anywhere. And most of them are just obnoxious. Yes, you may be having Country Music's Biggest Party, but I am trying to work/eat/get home, thank you very much. And these people are DIE HARD. They go all out: the Tennessean interviewed one family that drove 19 HOURS to get here. There is not much that I would drive 19 hours to do. Besides, add high gas prices and an enormous redneck truck and I really think you are losing money after hour 10 or 11.

But I digress.

Every cloud has a silver lining, and for a people watcher like me, CMA Music Festival is heaven on earth. YOU SEE THE TACKIEST STUFF! And since part of my drive to work takes me down Broadway, I get to see all the cowboys and cowgirls decked out in their shortest and tightest clothes, strutting toward the river-front for the morning concerts. Rhinestones. Animal print. Skoal rings. Tattoos. Boots in every color, print and skin you'd ever want (and some you wouldn't want). It's so bad that it's good.

Luckily, I will be in town this weekend. I will try to take pictures with examples of what I am talking about. Stay tuned.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


I decided I am becoming a missionary.

Yes, I'm going to take a life-changing message about hope and goodness and love and forgiveness into the world:

I am going to tell everyone I meet how incredible Wicked is.

I already converted someone at work. Do they make tracts about this?


Isn't it cool how certain songs can instantly trigger a memory? Smells do this too. Thank God for our senses.

For instance, The Association's "Never My Love" came on my iTunes a minute ago. I downloaded this song my senior year, after walking across the field to it on Homecoming Day. Everytime I hear that song, without fail, I think of that day and the butterflies that were in my stomach flutter back. I hope that reaction never goes away.

"Son of a Preacher Man"- Mr. and Mrs. Dudley
"Walk On", U2 - Friends finale
"Disco Inferno", 50 Cent - Spring Break, senior year, and all the "trouble" that Jen and I got into
"All You Wanted", Michelle Branch - freshman year spring break, in a beach house with 18 other girls in my pledge class
"For Good" and "Pieces of Me" - JEB
"Yeah", Usher - Rush skit, senior year
"His Eye Is On the Sparrow" - singing it with Jon David during Junior Miss
"Goodnight", Aaron Neville - bedtime at my house

There are more, but I cannot think of them.

What are your songs?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


While I was at home for like 4 hours this weekend, my mom was bombarding me with stuff: bills, pictures, invitations, etc. I was only semi-listening until she thrust a thank-you note which she recently received in my face and exclaimed "Look at this - she didn't even write it!"

I threw down my hair straightener and grabbed the note. Sure enough, the handwriting on the lovely embossed stationery was 100% NOT the bride's. At first I was horrified. I mean, if you invite 1000+ people to your wedding (which was almost a year ago [strike one]), you're digging your own grave. Yes, you'll receive a crap-ton of nice gifts, but you have to write a thank-you note for each! But come on, it can't take THAT long, can it?

I was sitting on the floor, mourning over what the world has come to since now people don't even write their own thank-you notes, when my mom said "You should totally start doing this."

DING! I think Linda could be on to something.

Still, part of me does not want to encourage this practice. At some point, between unpacking your new gifts and having all the sex, I would guess that there is time for you to pen your own dad gum thank-you notes! But, should you find it physically impossible to do so, or if you just plain don't want to, call me and we'll talk price per note.

The rule of thumb is NO LONGER a year to get those thank-you notes out, brides (I'll show you in my massive Etiquette book if you want). It's like a few months, max. So if you are running out of ink and time, call me.

Because a thank-you note obviously not written by you is far more preferable than NO thank-you note at all (and don't even get me started on THAT).

Sunday, June 03, 2007


The bar has officially been raised for fun weddings. Mr. and Mrs. Dudley did it up right this weekend and I am SO glad I was there to celebrate. Chattanooga folks, or 'Signal' residents as they prefer to be called, sure do know how to party. (And also in attendance were Margo and Margaret, who didn't believe me when I said I was going to start naming names on this blog of mine.) Anyway, it was truly one of the most fun weddings I have been to in a long time. Top 3 weddings ever. I hope my wedding will be half as fun. Well, maybe I should just say I hope my wedding will BE - and leave it at that!

Guess what's in less than three weeks? That's right - Birthday 2K7. Wes got the season started off right when he sent me a present from my Birthday Wish List and today I found out that Auburn has gotten on board and rounded up 2 night games to open football season. War Eagle and Happy Birthday to me!

Speaking of Auburn, when I pulled into town this weekend, guess what was one of the first things I saw? A flock of Camp War Eagle counselors walking down College Street. If you think it took anything less than everything in me not to roll down my window and honk my horn and yell at them to enjoy it while it lasts - you'd be mistaken. Furthermore, when I wasn't singing or dancing this weekend, I was seeking out people still enrolled at Auburn and discouraging them from graduating. Is that negating all the work I did at CWE?

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