Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Dear anonymous co-workers who think they are too good to make a new pot of coffee when they empty the pot,

MOTHER TRUCKER! How hard can a pot of coffee be for you to make?!? It's a beverage, not a baby! It's not like you even have to stand there while the pot brews: New filter, 4 scoops, start brew then LEAVE! If I catch you, I'm going to smash the empty pot over your head.


Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Dear Organization,



Dear Jessica Simpson going on Voice Rest,



Dear +85,000 people that will be in Jordan-Hare this weekend,

Miss me!


Monday, August 28, 2006


So it's a good thing I specified in my post last week that people aren't allowed to get married until 2007 - because THAT'S WHEN JENNIE AND JAMIE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!

Yay! Sister is engaged and I FINALLY get a brother! This is very exciting news :) I think a haiku is in order:

Yes, she's pretty, but
the rest of us are crazy.
You are brave, Jamie!

Yippee skippee yippee skippee!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


"People that meet their spouse in college should have to pay money into a fund for those of us that do not."

I love this quote. I read it in a book earlier this spring (the name of which has eluded me) but the fact of the matter is: It's so true! For a while I thought the "fund" was intended for us single people to go out and have fun, but now I understand the underlying and true meaning of the fund.

I have been overwhelmed lately with setting up house. NOW I GET why people LOVE to get married right out of college - your secret's out, married people! You don't have to buy crap for your house! Everyone gives you brand new stuff that YOU get to pick out! This is brilliant. I've had an inkling to go start my own registry for upcoming holidays (Christmas, birthday... I guess neither of those are really 'upcoming' but oh well). That way, instead of me going out and buying a pots or pans or wine glasses, YOU PEOPLE (er... my mom and dad) can get them for me, saving me the money and the time! This is not as zany as it sounds. One of my sorority sisters actually did this. At the time I thought she was being funny but now I see that she was being PRACTICAL. I should have jumped on the bandwagon sooner because I just bought sheets and a down comforter and I know for a fact that people register for those and throw showers JUST for brides and grooms to receive those. See, if I'd registered, for graduation or my birthday I could've gotten people to get that kind of stuff for me. Maybe I'll just throw myself a housewarming party. Bring me something! Or a "Pounding" party where everyone brings me a pound of something that I need. I still need more towels, if anyone is feeling generous. For now, I will just continue to use my family's hand-me-downs as well as all of the pink and purple and lime crap that I bought for my dorm room because I thought those colors were awesome but turns out they SCREAM adolescence. I wish someone had told me that before I raced out and bought pink and purple and lime and yellow EVERYTHING - plates, cups, curtains, trashcan, mousepad, lamp, sheets... my dorm room in college looked like a Crayola box threw up on it.

On a totally unrelated subject - well not really, since I was kind of talking about people getting married while they are young - am I the only one who was hoping Jessica and Nick would win Female/Male "Hotties" (I hate that word) of the Year at the Teen Choice Awards, so they would have had to get on stage at the same time and give dual acceptance speeches? That would have been hilarious. Oh well. There's always next year.

Friday, August 18, 2006


Hello world! I am sorry I have been MIA lately. August has been a crazy month. I think I can best sum it up with a list:


1. Moving - Not only have I not stayed in one place for more than 8 months since high school, I have moved my crap I think 20 times. I tried to count, but I lost track. It's ridiculous. I don't plan on moving again until at LEAST May of 2007. Try me! Moving takes an emotional toll on me. I already feel like a nomad, living out of boxes doesn't help!

2. Funerals - Grandparents, I miss each of you dearly, but dying in successful years (2004, 2005, 2006) and in one case, 7 months apart, was not cool. I know you didn't plan it and couldn't help it. But since you're with Him, tell Jesus to hold off a little while before taking the last one... or anyone else I love for that matter.

3. Weddings - WHO IS THERE LEFT TO GET MARRIED? Besides me?! Luckily, wedding season is about to end and football season is beginning, because I am just wedding-ed out. It's like the Bearenstein Bears "Too Much Birthday" book. Too many weddings! Stop the madness!

4. Divorces - Just because it affects more people than you and your ex-spouse, does NOT mean that you need to drag all affected parties into the sitaution, or make instances that have NOTHING to do with your divorce into an instance that does.

On a more positive note, things are great in Nashville. Remember that affordable apartment in a good location? I found something even BETTER! A roommate! With a great apartment that's in a great location and is even MORE affordable! Yay for answered prayers and stellar roommates. I have finally settled my stuff into the new apartment and am loving the living situation. Of course I continue to stay spoiled as God continues to drop obvious, perfect answers to my prayers into my lap at the last minute for like the third time in a row. One day I am going to have to be proactive and have to make a decision without a clear-cut best option, heaven forbid. I'm having my first visitor this weekend (besides my mom), so that is exciting. AND work is great! I just got back from my first business trip to Smalltown, TN. It was so fun. I came home from Pawpaw's funeral on Monday, packed all my stuff back up to head out of town and was not really looking forward to it, but ended up enjoying myself as we explored the city. I'll try to write more about that visit later, because I really did see a lot of interesting things (mullets go without saying). I got to go to the American Idol concert last Thursday and it was a BLAST. I really am so blessed. Even though I gripe and complain about certain circumstances I call "misfortunes," I know that one day, God will turn all of it into glory.

Fun things coming down the pipe: a visit to Memphis to see a dear friend (among other things!), more visits from friends and FOOTBALL SEASON! I am not sure how many games I'll get to attend, but you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be watching them all! WAR EAGLE!

My text message bill
costs a fortune, but so much
smiling is priceless!!

Errands, errands, er-
rands! Lately I feel like the
ERRANDS have run ME.

You should be really
jealous that my grandparents
weren't yours. They were studs!

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Talledega Nights
almost changed my view of Nas-
car. I said ALMOST!

An apple a day
does not keep the doctor away;
It sends me to him.


Too much fiber - as
in apples - hurts my stomach! So
much for eating right.

Thank goodness for Jun-
ior Miss, and thank goodness for
my sweet new roommate!

Fool me once, shame on
you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me thrice? F*** you!

Thursday, August 03, 2006


I have lots of "letters" I could write, but I am trying to stay original! Some of these are inside jokes, so if you don't understand it: it's not you, it's me.

Johnny Starbucks has
nothing on you. But we're still
in a "fight." FIX IT!

I'm officially
a Tennessean. Hold on,
is that a good thing?

Play your classical
songs louder, coworker, while
I steal your candy.

Kellie Pickler, the
world would be a better place
if you'd just shut up.

Keep my DVD,
Keep your money. What you've lost
is worth a lot more.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Dear Suit-Clad Law Student Leaving Starbucks That I Passed On Hillsboro Today,

Will you marry me?


Dear Both Friends That Failed To Call Me Tonight, Even Though They Promised They Would Call Me Tonight Because They Forgot To Call Me Last Night,

I'm used to it by now.


Dear My New Reasonably Priced Apartment In A Safe Location Near Downtown Nashville,



And in keeping with my plan:

A new apartment!
With brand new carpet and sink!
Not cheap, but worth it.

A Christmas "My Humps"
e-card? I don't know whether
to laugh or to cry.

(click the link above, folks... then let me know if you laughed or cried)

Okay, ass, you win.
I'll dress us better AND start
going to the gym.

Budgeting just sucks.
Should get a second job. Is
Facebook hiring?

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