PROUD

The scores are in and it's official: my new Auburn underwear is lucky.

Bama loses while Auburn wins? Two Saturdays in a row? I'm just saying...

SAVVY

Ohhhh Chicago. What are we going to do with you?

The trip went about as I expected it. The conference was a bit of a let-down, not just to me but most of the conference attendees (we talked amongst ourselves). I did learn a few things, so if almost $2000 in conference fees, flights and a hotel room was worth my learning a few things, then it was money well spent.

There was a lot of discussion about blogging, since it was a conference about social media, since social media is the forefront of communication right now, which means that everything that my least favorite college professor taught me is coming true, which means that my classmates and I should be in high demand since we've known about all of this for 4 years, which means that I should be getting paid more... but I digress.

I am not sure how much of it what I learned applies to non-corporate, non-social-agenda, pure-entertainment, human-interest-with-a-side-of-cynicism blogs like this one, but that wasn't why I was there anyway. Business. All business. With a side of Filene's Basement and Nordstrom.

But for instance, I learned that blogs are supposed to be measured by conversation index, which is the average number of comments per post. I was told that if you're not getting a high conversation index, you're not being controversial enough. This is bad news for me on many levels. First of all, if I judged the success of this blog by how many people comment and how often, then I would have quit writing months ago. Secondly, I don't consider myself very controversial (unless you count my obsession with Clay Aiken). There are plenty of other blogs where you can read about war, religion and politics. But this ain't one of them. So maybe this isn't a successful blog in the grand scheme, but it's successful to me because I enjoy the satisfaction of writing a witty post comprised of well-formed complex sentences. I crave it, in fact. Maybe that makes me a nerd. Maybe I don't care!

I also learned a few things in the way of tracking your blog. Not that this blog needs the sophisticated tracking software of say, the blog of the CEO of an international company, but I did fiddle with a few (free) tools and am starting to get a grasp on who is reading this. For instance, what do the cities of Birmingham, Nashville, Williamsburg, L.A., Memphis, Huntsville, Decatur (AL & GA), St. Louis, Dallas, New York, Washington, Dothan, Mobile, Athens, Montgomery, Louisville and Auburn have in common with a bunch of other cities I don't feel like listing?

Which leads me to my next point: I learned that we should all begin thinking of blogging as a conversation. As in, I say something, and then if you say something about what I said, then I am to say something back responding to what YOU said about what I said to begin with. So get ready to see a lot of conversations taking place. Hopefully, they won't be just between Anonymous, Wes, Chris, Lilley and I, who would all be getting gold stars if this were a classroom. Eric, David, Katie, Jennifer, Jessica and my sister would get silver stars for occasional participation; and Stephen, Michael, Meghan, Star, Jamie B, Carrie, Corrie, Sam, Allison and Margo would get bronze stars just for effort. And the rest of you, in cities far and wide, can start speaking up any day now. Odds are I know you're reading it anyway!

I DIGRESS. Back to Chicago. Since we had free time at night, I did a little shopping and saw Wicked again. So far, L.A. has been my favorite show. The touring cast and Chicago cast are wonderful, but the best talent is in L.A. (that I've seen anyway). I wish I could also report that I ate at all the best restaurants, but I'd be lying. My company's per diem does not take cost of living (eating?) into account for our travel.

Overall, I was frustrated to be in a city where there is so much to do and see but no time or company to do and see it with (company = awesome tour guide like ERIC). So if anyone ever wants to hop a direct flight to Chicago, let me know. I should warn you ahead of time though, we're going to have dinner with the McCallisters.

WINDY

Guess what, kids? I'm off to Chicago! Hooray, another conference!

Of course, this would be more exciting if I a) knew my way around Chicago; b) knew someone in Chicago; c) wasn't going alone.

Well actually, I don't mind going alone. Don't think I won't use every penny of my per diem food allowance even if it means getting a table for one in a steakhouse or eating a whole deep dish pizza by myself. But I wish I knew someone in the windy city to play with.

Especially because the HOME ALONE HOUSE is in Winnetka, 22 miles north of Chicago, and I am dying to go see it and get my picture on the McCallisters' lawn. 22 miles (44 round trip) is a long way to pay for a cab, though, and I don't want to deal with renting a car, so I might have to save that for another trip. But we'll see.

Regardless, duty calls. This is a social media conference. I wonder what they'll have to say about blogs!

TYPED

My roommate had to take the Myers-Briggs personality tests for one of her classes. She was showing me literature about her "type" and asked me if I knew what I am.

I took the Myers-Briggs in 2003, and while a lot has happened in 4 years, after reading this I am pretty sure I am still an ESFJ to the bone. Click that link if you want to know how what makes me tick (or what annoys the crap out of me). Here's highlights:

Why I Hate Change: "All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment."
Why I Am Scared To Break Rules: "ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well."
Why I Obsess Over My Best Friends: "Relationships are central to their lives, and they put forth a great amount of energy into developing and maintaining their close interpersonal relationships. They expect the same from others."
Why I Love To-Do Lists: "Responsible and practical, they can be counted to take care of day-to-day necessities."
Why I Am Obsessed With Auburn and CWE: "Most ESFJs have a strong need to 'belong' - whether it be to institutions or traditions, or family units."
Why I Like Comments On My Blog: "They need a lot of positive affirmation to feel good about themselves."

Eye-opening! And that's just a start. I've written before about how hard it is for me to not get my feelings hurt or to let go expectations of others and that summary picks up on that as well. I don't necessarily like admitting to that, but you know what? Just like I learned in kindergarten, I am "fearfully and wonderfully made!" (Psalm 139:14) Thank goodness!

And for the record, I don't do astrology/horoscopes, but I cannot deny that I fit the Gemini bill pretty well too.

RELAXED

What a good weekend. I laid out at the Y and then hit up some sales at the mall to stock up on fall/winter clothes (including my personal favorite purchase, which I posted about yesterday). And, as if I needed more reason to believe aforementioned purchase was/is good luck, I came home to watch Auburn win and Bama lose. All is right in the world again.

I was going to go find cute stuff to put in my lovely new office but decided that since I'm going to be gone all week anyway, cute office decorations can wait until next the paycheck.

But speaking of cute and decorations:

Pictures of the bedroom don't really do it justice. Come see for yourself just how "heavenly" and "peaceful" it is!

SHAMELESS

I believe in Auburn... and love it!

(STILL) GRATEFUL

So, either they moved World Gratitude Day, or I was looking at the wrong month when I celebrated it on Aug. 21.

But who doesn't love another day to be grateful? And apparently I left some items off my last World Gratitude Day Things I Am Grateful For list. So here's more things I am grateful for especially yesterday, on the actual World Gratitude Day:

-Scoreboards
-Penguins
-McFlurries
-Attentiveness
-Wit
-Someecards.com
-Visitors
-Commenters
-New office
-Funny friends who make me laugh
-Songs for the moment
-Gchat
-You
-All the things I was grateful for last month

ARTISTIC

JJB - this one is for you:

Award one point to Birmingham, please, for being the home to Sips N Strokes. A local artist teaches you to paint a picture; you bring something to sip.

GENIUS! Can we go one weekend when I am home pretty pretty please?

ECSTATIC

I'M GETTING AN OFFICE!
I'M GETTING A DOOR!
I'M GETTING A CEILING!
I'M HAVING A MIMOSA!

Moving day is a lot more fun when you're moving an office down the hall and not a house down the highway. And when people provide refreshments. And labor. And moving supplies.

We came into work today and everyone had caution tape running from his/her chair to his/her new office. It was a maze of caution tape, from floor to floor. Everyone was impressed with how fast I unwound my tape and found my new office. But then again, I have been ready to move for almost 6 months now. They were also impressed with how fast I moved. Number one, I've done this about 8 times in two years. Number two and once again, I have been ready to move offices for about 6 months now. I loaded three boxes of my stuff (which accounts for 75% of it) in the time that the girl whose office I am moving to load just one. What can I say? So I enjoyed a mimosa (or two) while I spent a few final minutes in purgatory (my old office).

Goodbye, old office! I will not miss you!

PEEVED

1. Why do vending machines spit dollar bills back at you when they're not crisp enough? I feel like the vending machine is judging me and it's not fair. I'm just happy to have a dollar, but then the vending machine makes me feel inferior because it determines that my bill is subpar. Why? It the carries the same value as all the rest. If someone wants to give me a dollar, I'll take it no matter what shape it is in. Why must vending machines be so snobby?

2. Why does my shower curtain liner insist upon hogging the shower? Today, I caught myself actually standing in the back of my shower, balancing precariously in a space roughly the size of a Post-It, barely in the flow of water, all because the liner was taking up probably 75% of the space in the shower. Translation: I was losing a fight to a shower curtain. At this realization, I grew infuriated and I kicked it back to the side. Gotta show it who's boss. This happens almost every other morning. I know the there is some law of physics coming into play that we probably learned about in Slamb's class (too bad I was busy making fun of her instead of paying attention). Memo to shower curtain liner: I'm aware that the hot water is nice and all, but seriously. Cling to the side of the tub like your weighted hem led me to believe you would do. Or just stand still and be beautiful and perfect, like your monogrammed counterpart.

STUNNED

I could write the longest post about the awkward waiter(s) Mary Byrne and I had at Carrabba's last night. But I'm afraid most of it falls under the "I guess you had to be there" brand of comedy. (But if you want to see for yourself, e-mail me and I'll tell you this awkward waiter's name and you can ask for him when you go to Carrabba's in Green Hills.)

Therefore, I'll spare you most of the mind-numbing details that made the dinner completely unforgettable. But the Most Annoying Waiter Ever did say one horrifying line which should make you all should recoil in disgust (just like I did).

We were his only table, so he wouldn't leave us alone. Two waiters were fighting over us but he won because he'd had only had one table all night (now I know why). He told us all about the six kids and one mom he had just served, and that segued into a monologue about what a great role model he is to his 10-year-old brother and 4 other siblings.

I cannot emphasize enough how talkative - unwarrantedly talkative - this guy is. He was barely stopping for breath.

He finally leaves and we get back to our salads. Our chicken comes. We're extolling its praises when he comes back to the table and starts in on how great this particular chicken dish is. Dude, we know; why do you think we came here? Just as I was thinking he could not get any more bothersome, he turned this corner:

"Chicken Bryan is like my favorite thing here. That was the first thing I got when I started working here because it's like, cheese is my favorite thing ever. Seriously I could eat it forever. I'm kind of a connoisseur. But you know what else, it sucks because I'm LACTOSE INTOLERANT. So my blessing is my curse, I guess you could say. But I still eat it. I love cheese."

In case you missed that - HE TOLD US HE IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT. WHILE WE ARE EATING. I almost choked. Since when did this become a) acceptable small talk b) at dinner c) from your WAITER?!?!?!?!??! I wanted to tell him to shut the eff up and go get me more bread.

Miracle of miracles, he finally left. MB and I die laughing. It occurs to us that we could be on Candid Camera. We start looking around for a film crew. I checked for a microphone in the bush behind me.

He came back and I swear he talked to us for at least another full ten minutes. I mean, he was vigilante about it. Guerilla, even. A talker on a mission. MB finally got him to leave by finishing her chicken so he would have a plate to clear.

Eventually he brought the check and we paid and got the heck out of there. I wanted to draw an arrow from the word Tip to the bottom of the receipt and write "DON'T TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS THAT YOU ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!" but MB wouldn't let me.

Later I realized what he was doing because I'd seen Ross do it on Friends before. I think - I THINK - he was trying to hit on us. He wanted to make sure we knew he was single, sensitive and family oriented (information about his family), had a good palate (connoisseur of cheese), could overcome his problems (LACTOSE INTOLERANT) and was a little wild and crazy at the same time (another story he told us). MB agreed that must've be his plan. Because we checked - there were no cameras around, and there couldn't be any other explanation for his merciless, unwarranted incessant, one-sided conversation.

PLEASED

Yay. Katherine won. Isn't it ironic how the girl that won the Emmy is the girl that ABC isn't (wasn't?) paying as much as the rest of the cast?

I was waiting to comment about her win until I could find this picture, which is of my favorite moment during the Emmys. It's so small but you can clearly see how close she and T.R. Knight are. I love that she gave him a huge hug before she went to the stage. And I don't begrudge her for making a joke about her name. Names are important. I know I never get tired of hearing mine...

HUNGRY

Why are Goldfish crackers so damn delicious?

Let me back up. I only packed half a lunch today. After realizing I forgot to include something to accompany my sandwich, I instantly remembered that several months ago, my boss told me that I was welcome to deplete the stash of Goldfish snack packs in her bottom filing cabinet drawer which were leftover from a client event. Without a second thought, I raced down the hallway into her office and was delighted to find several snack packs mine for the taking.

Unfortunately, the operative phrase in this story is 'several months ago.' These crackers are slightly stale. But it's Goldfish, so they're still delicious.

I remember in high school, somehow I was awarded a giant carton of Goldfish. You know, the big box that opens like a milk carton? For whatever reason, Goldfish always taste better when coming out of that box than when served any alternate way. Anwyay, I think the box was leftover from a cheerleading road trip (our mothers took turns providing exorbitant picnics for our bus trips for away games) and no one would take it with them. Never one to turn down a snack, especially a $7 tub of Goldfish crackers, I adopted the box and kept in my car. Everyday before cheerleading practice, I'd get it out and we'd all pass it around and take a hit from the box. It was like feeding the 5,000 with the loaves and fish... except there were 12 of us and no bread. But still, we ate from that box at least until playoffs.

...Or maybe we went through that first box quickly and then my secret pal bought another box just for me. Either way, it was a good fall.

INCONCEIVABLE

I realized something today. If this isn't scary, I don't know what is.

All signs indicate that THIS MAN
is a better parent than THIS WOMAN.
What has the world come to??!?!

TICKLED

Y'ALL - THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY.

Some entries are funnier than others, of course. But overall, a site definitely worth bookmarking. And maybe sending in one of your own?

I think that this one is my favorite so far. You know I love some good sarcasm.

EXCITED

Two weeks until the Grey's premiere!
Here's 2 more clips of sweet Izzie to steadfast you until then:

Katherine Heigl better win an Emmy this weekend.
And in case there is any confusion: No, I don't love this show like I love Friends. Not even close.

ASHAMED

Reason Number 4,238 Why You Should Not Send E-mails When You Are Trying To Meet A Deadline:

E-mail from our Charity Rep to my Co-worker:

Leslie:
I would like to drop off some new campaign materials and posters, table tents, etc., to help promote your upcoming campaign. Let me know when would be a convenient time to drop off the campaign materials. I also have two goody bags with t-shirts, etc. for you and Lindsay.
Thanks for all you do.
-Rep

Leslie's Response, which she CCed me in on:

Rep,
I believe I speak on behalf of Lindsay and myself when I say we are swamped! You're welcome to come by anytime and have Secretary check with me to see if I'm available. I will be glad to come retrieve these things from you and say hello. If not, you can always leave them with Secretary and she will make sure we get them.
Thanks a lot!

My reponse which, BECAUSE I WAS CCed IN, GOT SENT TO THE !@#$!#% REP TOO:

Nice deflection. THANK YOU!



It's only 10:30 and this has been a bad day. I need a drink.

RECOLLECTIVE

This morning I had a doctor's appointment. The appointment was at 10:15, right by my house, so I used the free time before the doctor's office to run errands. It's amazing what all you can get done when you're not sitting in 5 p.m. traffic.

So, the doctor I was scheduled to visit was the orthodontist. I know, right? I do not do well with dentists or orthodontists. And I willingly signed up for this particular appointment. Sought a doctor, got a referral, got an appointment all with my own initiative. Well, not really with my own initiative. It's not like going to the orthodontist is a hobby I'm exploring. If the bonded wire that lives behind my bottom teeth hadn't decided to break in two at some point over the past year, I would not be telling this story in the first place. But it did, so I am.

So as I was filling out my paperwork, I realized it's been ten years since I got my braces off. Did you have braces? Do you remember the day you got them off? I was in eighth grade. It was a week or two before eighth grade gradation (or, a week or two before I sprained my ankle one degree shy of a break and had to graduate in an ankle brace.)

I remember the boy I had a crush on at the time noticed. Is this a Judy Blume book or what? He noticed I got my braces off. I felt like a queen. I can't believe that was a whole decade ago.

I also remember when I got the braces put on 13 years ago. I was in sixth grade then. I cried because I didn't want them. My orthodontist gave me a hug and said everyone has things they don't like about themselves, just look at his big nose! At least I could fix my flaw! (Although, looking back, I was pretty insecure about my nose as well. So maybe I was crying because he couldn't fix that too.) They asked me what color rubber bands I wanted. It was November and the Iron Bowl was a week away so naturally, I wanted orange and blue, dad gum it! Big mistake. I learned that lesson. Every month thereafter that it was silver silver silver. Always silver.

Anyway. I just can't believe that was ten years ago. And in case you were curious: no, ten years was apparently not enough time for someone to develop less-painful orthodontic instruments.

SAD

I'm confused.

Is it MONday or MEANday?

CURIOUS

I was going to get on here and toss my two cents onto the pile of opinions about Britney's VMA charade. But when I read the front page of today's NY Post calling her "porky" and the accompanying article which says she "jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song. She didn't seem to care that she danced like she had a pantload," I don't think I can put it better myself. (Runner up review: TMZ's "She aimed to bring the house down when she opened the MTV Video Music Awards, but instead she just looked like a house." ZINGER!)

I wish the dancing was the worst part about it. The wig, the outfit. Although I will give her some credit - she found a new pair of fishnets for the occasion.

Bottom line: Gimme more? Britney, we think you've had enough.

All said and done, the VMAs left me with a lot of unanswered questions:

If Timba was "maestro" then who was that guy with the guitar providing intro/outro music all night?
Just how drunk WAS Justin Timberlake?
Whom should I have slept with to have gotten into his Southern Hospitality suite party?
Whose idea was it to let Miss South Carolina Teen USA read a teleprompter?
Why didn't they let Chris Brown open the show?
How did Fergie know to skip the whole thing?
When does The Kingdom come out in theaters?
Who won the Kid Rock/Tommy Lee fight?

SURPRISED

Remember when I told you that "**** in a Box" was up for an Emmy? IT WON! Outstanding Music and Lyrics Category.

Hilarious! Good job JT.

JOYFUL

My monogrammed shower curtain will be here this afternoon!!!

I mean... umm... my mom is coming to visit me?!

I made her a pie from scatch (crust included). I am ready for her to get here so we can eat it. And I can hang my shower curtain.

MUSICAL

I think my iPod's Top 25 Most Played Songs is at an all-time high. How good is this playlist?

1. Promiscuous Girl - Nelly Furtado
2. Gold Digger - Kanye West (who is coming to Nashville this fall, by the way)
3. Love Stoned/I Think She Knows Interlude - JT
4. Signs - Snoop Dogg (Snoop in my Top 5 songs... who'd have thought?)
5. Defying Gravity - Wicked
6. No One Mourns the Wicked - Wicked
8. FutureSex / LoveSound - JT
8. Sweet Potato Pie - Ray Charles
10. Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight - Amos Lee
10. Kerosene - Miranda Lambert
10. I Should Tell You - Rent
10. Give It To Me - Timbaland
13. Hung Up - Madonna
13. As Long As You're Mine - Wicked
15. Alone - Heart
15. Until The End of Time - JT
17. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
17. Take Me or Leave Me - Rent
17. My Love - JT
20. Lose Control - Missy Elliott
21. Like We Never Loved at All - Mr. and Mrs. Tim McGraw (surprising)
22. Since You Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
23. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
24. The Wizard and I - Wicked
25. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

So that makes 4 Wicked songs, 2 from Rent, 2 by Nelly, 2 from Timbaland (we'll give him credit for Promiscuous too) and 4 from JT? Acutally, this could all change by the end of the day, because all week his album has been and is still on repeat on my iPod. So by the end of the day, the 4 songs of his that are on the list already will be higher, and What Goes Around and Summer Love will have their 3 plays needed to break the Top 25.

For the record, most of these songs are on the list because I listen to them over and over again while at the gym (Snoop, Missy Elliott, Kanye West [Oh who am I kidding, Gold Digger is my ringtone. I love that song.]) And in case anyone cares, Coldplay, Pink and James Taylor are on deck.

GREY

Three weeks until Grey's premiere!

Here's a little something to whet your appetite:

BEGGY

Please read this snippet of an e-mail with a friend:

Me: "I didn't know you read my blog!"
NSS: "I always read it. My sister turned me on to it back last fall I think. My secretary reads it too!"

I don't ask for much. I mean, I don't password protect this stuff and I write almost daily. I give and I give and I give! So please tell me if you (and/or your secretary?) read the blog. It'll make my day. If you knew something that simple could make someone's day, why wouldn't you do it? And if you're feeling really generous, tell me I'm funny. I gave up on pretty a long time ago, so funny is ALL I HAVE!

So talk to me! Come forth and name yourselves!

LOST

So I have a question.

Am I the only college graduate who still gets her right and her left horribly, HORRIBLY confused?

Not ALL of the time; I know my right from my left. But it seems that in crucial moments, my brain fails me and I end up getting lost, giving bad directions or saying something dumb.

Actually, I know I am not the only college grad who still mixes them up. My sister does as well and we realized this sometime this past spring. We decided to team up and place blame on our mother.

I'm not dyslexic, because as I said this is not a daily thing. It just only happens when it matters. Like last week, when I was picking up someone for lunch and got SO turned around, that I frustrated myself into a frenzy. I was shaking because I was so frustrated. Then, I was so embarrassed about being so embarrassed that later that afternoon I made myself call and apologize (AGAIN) to the poor soul who waited almost 20 minutes on me to decipher my right from my left long enough to pick him up.

Anyway, I'm not stupid. I just get excited about other things (going somewhere, someone coming to see me, going to pick someone up) that the logistics (turn right, turn left) take a backseat... sometimes. Then there are those rare and beautiful moments when I super excited about am heading somewhere important to see someone that matters to do something unforgettable and I don't get lost at all.

But I digress. Make me feel better and tell me I don't fight this battle alone.

SATISFIED

The words you are looking for are: Amazing, Incredible, Spectacular, Stunning, Legendary and Fabulous.

That is, if you're trying to describe JT's HBO concert.

And the answer is: For Most Of It.

In case you are wondering for how much of the concert I was off the couch and singing and dancing - yes, dancing - around my living room... solo.

(It looks like On Demand is finally going to come in handy for something besides scary movies, at least until they release the concert on DVD.)