Friday, February 27, 2009

HOCKIED

This has been such an adventurous week. Even though I have felt so crummy and tired, I have done three things I have never done before: 1. Monday night WWE 2. Regular season Preds game and 3. tomorrow night, the Grand Ole Opry!

Now some of you may not have read my account of my very first Preds game. Even if you did, go read it again, because the last thing I said was "Who knows, I might just go to a NASCAR race or wrestling match next!" Careful what you wish for, I guess.

Anyway, so yesterday at about 4:30, C let me know his boss was all hockied out for the week and passed his great tickets along to him. Hooray!

We got to the arena just in time to get drinks and hot dogs before the puck dropped. It was college night, and since I still not only have but carry around my student ID, I got our beers half price. (Note: This only works because I got an ID made the week before graduation, so it's not too old. I had the very same student ID all the way from CWE [June 2001] to December 2005 and was so proud I kept it especially since it got a lot of wear and tear as our IDs were also dorm keys and I lived in the dorm for 4 years. Poor thing, it broke with only one week to go. I also still use it to get student price movie tickets and until they started recognizing me, discounts at Otter's.)

We got in our seats which were great - only about ten rows back or so - and enjoyed the first period. Once again, I was very distracted by all the noise and colors and lights so the first period flew by.

For entertainment, they brought these two saps out and made them run around the ice dressed as giant hockey pucks. They had to run down, shoot a goal, run back and kick a ball into the net. They looked so goofy, especially when one bumped the other and they both fell down.
The rest of the game was fun and entertaining: someone got hit in the head with a puck and the Preds were only one goal away from getting us the free frosties that the fans were rooting for (Wendy's gives free frosties if they score 5 goals).

All in all, a great night. Next up: my first trip to the Opry! Have a great weekend.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

READY

This is one of my favorite forwards ever. I am still sickly today and without much capacity to think of a good blog. So even though I did not write this, enjoy:

The U.S. government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.

Image 1
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

Image 2
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

Image 3
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

Image 4
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.

Image 5
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

Image 6
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.

Image 7
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.

Image 8
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

Image 9
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

Image 10
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

Image 11
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

Image 12
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

Image 13
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.

Image 14
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

Image 15
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

Image 16
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

Image 17
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.

Image 18
Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

Image 19
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Image 20
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

JEALOUS

The funniest concept I have heard of today.

Allison A. soon-to-be D., this one's for you.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

RAW

Last night I did something I NEVER thought I would do. Are you ready for this? Willingly, I went to a WWE Raw show that was filming downtown.

Okay, let's explain the reasons why before you start to judge me: 1. C had free tickets 2. in his company's corporate suite 3. where they serve free food and beverages. Those sound like three pretty good reasons to try anything, don't you agree?

So we got there just in time to see them flipping the mat from an ECW taping to air later this week, to a RAW taping that was going to air live! I could not get over how many people were there. The arena was almost completely full.The show opened with a clip of last week's cliffhanging situation - and by the way, I was BESIDE myself with how fake all of this is. But here's the story: Two weeks ago, Vince McMahon (owner of WWE) was about to fire Randy Orton, which made Randy mad so he beat the crap out of Vince, angering Vince's son Shane. So last week, Shane finds Randy and they get into an "unsanctioned fight" which ends when Randy knocks him out cold. His sister Stephanie, the GM of WWE, came to the ring and got in Randy's face for going after her brother. That didn't sit too well with Randy so he knocked her out too, which you can see here. Well, surprise surprise - it turns out Stephanie is married to Triple H, an oversized wrestler whose trademark is a sledgehammer (no, not a move - an actual sledgehammer he totes around). Seeing his wife out cold on the mat, Triple H runs to her, causing Orton to flee, and they stare at each other with the heat of a thousand fires. Watch Triple H's interview here. It's so bad it's funny.

So that set the scene for last night. In Stephanie's absence, Vickie is the new WWE GM. John Cena doesn't like that. He comes out to tell her so. He says she is only GM now because her husband (Edge) is the current world champion and she needs to do the right thing and let Cena have a rematch with him. Tonight! Of course Edge is waiting backstage with his belt and a mic in hand. He comes out and gets in Cena's face. We are left with the promise that Cena will wrestle Vickie's family (husband Edge) or friend (this giant they call Big Show).

I was on the edge of my seat. I have always made fun of wrestling, but after last night I totally see how people get sucked in to this stuff. The acting is bad, the dialogue is horrible, the wrestling is contrived, but you can't help but care!

So we have a few fights to pass the time. One was with this little guy named Jamie, who claimed he wanted to make it to Wrestlemania. They turn him loose against this huge guy who knocked him out in exactly 29 seconds. Even worse, he never got up. They ended up having to take poor old Jamie out on a stretcher:
All the while they were dropping in videos of what's going on backstage. Is Randy Orton going to come out? Will Triple H show up? Will Vickie make Cena fight her husband or not?

Eventually Cena fought Vickie's nephew and won pretty easily. That made her mad and she stormed offstage. Meanwhile, Randy Orton decided he and his friends would wait for Triple H on the mat. Cue Triple H's arrival. They showed him getting out of his car and marching straight into the arena, sledgehammer in hand:
Orton asks Triple H to put his sledgehammer down so they can fight the right way. He does and enters the ring. Just as Orton is about to attack, Triple H pulls out ANOTHER sledgehammer that was taped to his back and starts swinging. Orton and his two buddies run out of the arena. H follows them. We see video footage of them backstage, running into a dressing room and putting all the furniture against the door to keep H out. He hammers his way in. They escape and hop in a getaway car but not before H takes his sledgehammer to the window and throws it at the car.

Just as we were getting up to leave, Vickie comes back out and announces that Cena will fight her husband Edge after all. Hooray! The fight isn't going well for John Cena, especially when Big Show comes to Edge's rescue and makes an illegal move on Cena. Thanks to the illegal move, the fight is DQed. But Cena, not wanting to miss his opportunity, makes a triumphant come back and knocks them both out, signaling the end of the night and we head home.

Now. For those of you thinking I am addicted, let me stop you right there. I am not getting addicted to this crap. Just because I'll tune in next week to see if Orton finally faces Triple H does not mean that I am addicted. I'm merely doing research on the many ideas I have up my sleeve to make money off WWE. In a nutshell, I want to do a Mystery Science Theater setup where I dub voices over the show because it really could be funny.

Next up: details on my March madness poll and my plans for the Indy 500.

Monday, February 23, 2009

BETTER

So I've decided that rather than talk about the specific events of the weekend, I want to talk about the takeaways of the weekend and what I learned.

1. I wish you all could know C. Here's a start - his name is Chris. He is great. In what could have been a really awkward and tense situation, Chris initiated and extended peace and showed his remarkable character. I was so happy to support him and watch his kind heart in action. I have never been prouder of him than I was on Saturday and that says a lot because I pretty much stay proud of him for all the hard work does at his job and for his community and for his friends. I learned: It only takes a selfish person to be bossy, but it takes a humble person to be a leader. He is definitely the latter.

2. Sunday I decided to peruse the free fitness videos on C's cable On Demand. Hilarious. I started off with 8 minutes of Flirty Girl Fitness, which was more funny than it was challenging, mostly because I was doing Preppy Girl Fitness in pearls, a polo and jeans. After a poor attempt at the "chair routine," I moved on to the dance video. It was a good workout, but only 8 minutes long. Feeling like I had found a good thing, I started up Carmen Electra's dance video. I did a little bit of it but Carmen was boring me. She wanted to stretch and warm up; I wanted to dance. So I browsed around again and finally found another dance video that was 20 minutes of nonstop movement. The dance wasn't too hard and it reminded me of a cardio boogie class that six of us took at the gym during spring of my senior year. I learned: free workout videos are hit and miss, but when you find a hit, they're awesome!

3. Apparently my blog took a little nap this weekend. Not sure what that was about, but don't worry. I'd never disappear without at least leaving you a reasonable explanation. I learned: the interwebnet is great albeit occasionally unreliable.

4. I loved, loved, loved the Oscars this year. The part I was awake for at least. I dozed off somewhere after Heath Ledger's posthumous win and woke up as Kate Winslet was taking the stage. There are a billion other blogs talking about the same moments and outfits I would mention, so I won't reinvent the wheel. I didn't really learn anything, but felt I needed to include it.

FOUND

What a weekend. I'm still kind of reveling in how great it was. While I revel, let me tell you a funny story.

Saturday night, after a long day, C and I put on our dancing shoes and met up with some pals. While we were out, I was doing a little people watching and happened to notice a small black package on the floor. It looked like a business card holder. Intrigued, I went over to pick it up.

"Eeeek!" I shrieked and showed it to C. "It's birth control!"

We looked for a name. There it was in black and white. I started to yell it a little bit. "Allison P******! Come get your birth control!"

Then, overcome by evil genius or unbridled comedy, C said "What if we gave this to the band and they made her come get it?" Of course I thought that would be hysterical, so back to the dance floor we went.

C was waiting for a break in between songs, and when one happened to come along, just as he was making his way to the stage, the band played the opening notes of "Let's Get it On." Seeing what C was holding, the lead singer made a big show of cutting off the band so he could take a closer look. He announced that he was shocked that someone actually handed him some birth control at the same time he was about to sing that song, but unfortunately for us, he didn't do a PA for Miss Allison to come get her stash. But how funny would that have been? I guess we'll never know.

More on the weekend coming up later!

Friday, February 20, 2009

JENN-Y

Today is Jennifer's birthday. Happy Birthday, Jenn!
Jennifer and I met in January of 2004, when we both were selected to be Camp War Eagle counselors. We didn't really get to know each other well until halfway into the summer, when eight of us hit the road to spend Fourth of July weekend in Gulf Shores. Our friendship especially progressed in the fall, when we had the good fortune of taking a journalism class together, which involved lots of time together outside of the classroom. Come to think of it, we had another journalism class together that spring. And we lived in dorms that were side by side, so it was a natural friendship.
Our first real adventure together was Gulf Shores. Our second adventure was the Tigercub program for that first journalism class (after school tutoring/mentor program with high schoolers from a poor area close to our campus - I'll tell you all about it one day). Our third adventure together was Spring Break, when we decided at the last minute to rent a hotel room in Destin and spend the second half of the week there. It was a week of many, many laughs and many, many memories.
Jennifer spent her summer with Camp War Eagle again (lucky) and I headed up to Nashville for my internship. One weekend, she came to visit me and it was then that I heard about this Wes fellow that she had begun seeing. Near the end of the summer, she came back through Nashville and brought Wes with her.

Fast forward to a year later, when we were driving around Decatur for the wedding of our friend Leslie. Jenn mentioned she thought Wes was The One. Good thing he and I got to know each other pretty well that weekend, because a few weeks later, he proposed.
Bored at work (...or was that just me?), Jenn and I e-mailed for months about detail after detail and it truly was a fun, festive time. I got to attend lots of parties, including lingerie and bachelorette. And when the big day came, I was honored to not only sing in their wedding, but stand by Jennifer as a bridesmaid. Since then, Jenn and Wes have settled in Birmingham and become happy little homemakers, complete with a blog, a dog and fence.

Jenny Jenn, I hope you know how lucky I am to count you as a friend. I love all your different traits - you are gentle but tough, sweet but guarded, supportive but honest. At a time when I needed someone who had "been in my shoes," you were there with a listening ear. I can't believe I have known you five years! You are one of those people who is just naturally good at everything you do: writing or decorating, managing camp counselors or managing a web site, leading a sorority or leading a Tiger Talk - you do it all gracefully. That's the word I think of when I think of Jennifer - you beam grace. It's reflected in your smile, in your words, and in your home. I hope your birthday weekend is fantastic and that your 25th year is your best year yet!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

LUNCHED

Today a coworker and I walked up the block and across the street to the Baptist church where they host a Thursday business lunch. For $5, you get a hot meal, a song, some jokes and a five minute devotional. It was so fun. I think we even got extra jokes this week. We were by far the youngest ones there.

Today's meal was a caesar salad, lasagna, garlic bread, fried mozzarella sticks, dessert (I chose pecan pie! yum!) and all the iced tea you wanted.

We're going to start going more often. If you work in downtown Nashville (cough Evan and Meghan cough) and want to come with us one Thursday, let me know!

CURIOUS

(Ignore the color/tint)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

STALKED (part 2)

Great. Just great. He called. I let my guard down for one second and look what happens.

I told him I was racing out the door to an 11:30 meeting. He said he'd call back some other time. I told him to have a good afternoon.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

IDOLED

How awesome was Ricky Braddy tonight? I hope you all voted for him.

DAVIDED

Today is David's birthday. Happy birthday, Dave!
Where do I start with this one? David and I met our sophomore year on a spring break beach trip. Upon spying his then-curly fro, I screamed "Justin Guarini, is that you?" and asked for his autograph.

Fast forward two years to senior year. We were in SGA together so we were acquaintances, which is why someone recruited him to be one of my escorts* for homecoming week. As if we had to ask: if there was one person on campus who LOVED to be an escort, it was him. By Thursday night, he'd spent time with each of the nominees. He was stuck with me on the last shift on the last day of campaigns - least exciting shift ever. I was exhausted, so we definitely didn't get nutty. We went to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner and that was it.
At the restaurant, the other escorts and I gave him a hard time about being a campaign "slut" but he took it well. When we went to the salad bar, I told him by the time we left the restaurant I was going to convince him to vote for me, and only then could I consider my campaign officially over. It became kind of a running joke throughout the meal.

Later that night, right before I climbed into bed, I got the nicest e-mail from Dave (which I still have to this day), full of kind words and a promise that he was in fact voting for me. It was so nice to get some final encouragement during one of the most fun yet longest weeks of my life.

Dave graduated early and we kind of lost touch but eventually reconnected. That was 2006. Give or take a few blips on the radar, we still talk regularly. I've gone to visit him in Cincinnati and he's even been to Nashville twice.
David, you are one of the most determined people I've ever known and one of the most loyal friends I've ever had. There aren't many people I would follow an out-of-state baseball team for but somehow you made that happen. I am so glad that we are still friends. I hope your birthday is spectacular and that the next few months are immeasurably better than the last few. Miss you much!

*During major campaigns, the candidates ask friends to go places with them - fraternity houses, sorority chapter meetings, etc and call them escorts. I don't know why. That's just how it's done. It was fun though, I got to hang out with 4-5 friends at any given time all week long!

Monday, February 16, 2009

BARE

If any of you wear Bare Escentuals, then hop on over to your local Sephora (or .com) and get one of these: a tiny pot of foundation with an even tinier brush. Or, if you've wanted to try Bare Escentuals, here's your chance. They call it a "ten day" supply. I call it a "put in my glove compartment/desk at work for touch-ups" supply. Either way, it's a great find. Happy buffing.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

VALENTINED

I hope you all had a good Valentine's Day. Mine was great from start to finish. May I tell you about it?

Friday I left work early to run some errands and came straight to C's house, where these treats were waiting for me:A dozen coral-yellow-red roses and a cookie cake. The weekend was off to a great start.

I had to finish getting some items for his gift box on Saturday, and while scouring Target I found the best bargain of them all -- Troop Beverly Hills on DVD. And then I went home and immediately watched it one full time... and hit play again while I was waiting on C to pick me up.

For dinner, we tried a place close to his home that we'd never been to before. It was interesting. They were out of a lot of things (lettuce, ribs, thin crust pizzas) but the restaurant was not crowded at all, even though our waitress SueAnn said they had been "slammed." So we think she was either lying to us or that restaurant is insanely popular with the blue-haired crowd.

The funniest two parts of the night were when the manager stopped by to clear our salad plates and noticed a pile of unwanted bell peppers on C's plate. He stared at the plate. "Where'd those bell peppers come from?" he asked us. "What?" "I said where did those bell peppers come from?" "Uh, they were on the salad." (Exasperated, annoyed sigh) "Lemme guess... you have SueAnn." Of course at that statement my interest was heavily piqued but he never came back for me to ask where the bell peppers or SueAnn had gone wrong. The other funny part was when C asked for some parmesan cheese for his fettuccine, and SueAnn brought him a can of Kraft shredded parmesan cheese. Like, straight from the grocery store. Maybe you had to be there, but I couldn't stop giggling after that.

Feeling the need to reclaim our sophistication, we went across town to a trendy restaurant for drinks and dessert. We were blown away. We each had a glass of wine and a dessert - I went for the evening's special, a trio of a cup of espresso/dark chocolate, two small naan donut holes coated in cinnamon sugar and an almond and chocolate ice cream sandwich. C went for the tres leches - a cake soaked with three milks. We were beyond pleased with everything about our dessert. C's favorite part was easily when I sat on his side of the booth to take a picture and then wouldn't go back to my side. His face may have said "get back in your seat" but I know his heart was most definitely saying otherwise.

From there, we decided to hop again and went to one of my favorite places in Nashville that I never, ever get to go to: Union Station. There is an intimate little bar in the hotel lobby so we went there for a final toddy. It was a special conclusion to a great evening.

Based on the company I was in and the fun that we had, this was hands down my best Valentine's Day ever. And no, we did not plan to dress just alike.

Friday, February 13, 2009

STALKED

I'm afraid I have a stalker. A sweet, elderly stalker. Maybe we'll call him a fan. I have a fan. That sounds less dangerous.

Monday night, as my event was wrapping up and people were heading out the door, a little old man sauntered up to me and struck up a conversation. I could tell that he was eager to talk to someone. He told me about learning to play guitar, moving here, his wife's throat cancer that took her away (at which he started to cry a bit), how he had a stroke and forgot everything he learned and has tried to pick it up again, etc. He talked and talked and presented me his card. He was walking away then turned around and told me he always leaves 'em laughing and he had a dirty joke to tell me. I said no, no - this is a family place. So he told me a clean joke about a woman who got hit by a bus. I laughed and sent him on his way.

The next day, I pulled out some of my HOF stationery and sent him a note, enclosing my card since I didn't have on me to give him the night before, and included the web address for a performer that he was particularly impressed by. I put the note in the mail and didn't think about it anymore.

Until yesterday, when I was sitting with some clients having a meeting about their soiree in April. Out of the corner of my eye I notice this lone man in a sport coat, hair slicked back, strolling around the conservatory. I didn't recognize him until he got closer.

Of course I hopped up from the table, gave him a hug and told him it was nice to see him again. He said he got my note. I told him I regretted I couldn't visit with him more as I was with some clients, so I pointed him in the direction of the musician he was asking about on Monday. Before he left he invited me to a concert with him. Having no idea when or where it was, I declined, telling him I'd already had to turn down tickets to that show. He asked if it would interfere with my work if he called me to chat. I told him he sure could, and that unfortunately I had to get back to my clients.

I came back to my desk after my meeting and told my boss, who was howling. She has a few elderly stalkers fans. I guess we are just too nice. He just seemed so lonely - I mean, he told me he was going home to tell his guitars goodnight. I was only trying to be kind to him. I guess next time I'll be more careful.

Mom, shall I give him your number?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

BRADDY

Get excited everyone - the top 35* on American Idol have been revealed and the game is officially on!

The best part about this is now we (we = Nashville) can brag on one of our own, and all you people from Alabama need to get on board too because there's no one from the Heart of Dixie on the show this year. Which is why all you need to join...

THE BRADDY BUNCH!
Meet Ricky Braddy. Ricky Dale Braddy Jr., to be precise. Not to be confused with Ricky Bobby but just as cool. He rolls with Evan and Elliott which means he is awesome by default. And, unbeknown to millions of Americans because Fox has not shown him singing one single note, HE CAN SING!

It's safe to assume plenty of people were left scratching their chins last night when Ricky popped up in the top 36. And seeing as how Ricky is the only person to make it to the show without ever having been on the show, that makes sense! Last night (in the closing credits) we learned Ricky can dance, Ricky's got style and soon you will all learn he can sing too. For everything else you need to know about Ricky, the Braddy Bunch is here to help. Visit TheBraddyBunch.com to follow Ricky's progress and learn more about the man who Paula Abdul publicly announced as one of her top 3 favorites contestants (true story).

*Tatiana Del Toro is not in the top 36. She's not in the top 36, 360, 3600 or 36,000 contestants. That is all.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

FORTY

And PS - Happy Birthday, Jennifer Aniston. I heard your movie was just so-so, but I'm going to see it anyway. So there you go. Happy Birthday.

Monday, February 09, 2009

COOKIED

Guess what day it is? Today is Girl Scout Cookie Delivery Day here at work. One of my coworkers is a Den Mother? Troop Leader? Whatever you call it, that's her. Which means she's got a village supply of cookies spilling out of her office right now.

After collecting my single lone box of Thin Mints, I couldn't help but think about what is, perhaps, the second best movie of all time (after Home Alone of course): Troop Beverly Hills.
Yes, Phyllis, Velda and the gang provided loads of laughs not only when I was small, but came back around full-force when I was in high school. Something about this movie drew my cheerleading squad and me in like a moth to a flame. Maybe because we had a real-life Velda of our own.

If you haven't seen it, please add to your queue. It's so funny.

"Now Deddy: shake damaaan's haaaand and lussbe own ah way."

CELEBRATORY

Happy Birthday, little blog. You are three today. Can you say three?

Do you remember when I birthed you one rainy morning in my mom's house, over cheerios and coffee? I wasn't sure what to even do with you for the first few months. We would just sit and stare at each other. The words that I was sure would flow like honey just wouldn't come.

Then together we made some big changes and the words wouldn't stop. I moved. You followed. I got a job. You came with me. Ups and downs, highs and lows, you've been there every step of the way to chronicle it all. You're the best listener I ever had, little blog. Did you know that? I can be creative, sad, happy, nostalgic, energized, excited and mellow all in one week and you wouldn't bat an eye.

Happy birthday, little blog. In this, your third year: remember that lots of people love you!

Saturday, February 07, 2009

MOURNING

I just read on Facebook that Coach Walker passed away yesterday.

If you went to my high school and didn't have Coach Walker, you were missing out. I had him for math for two years. His class was my least favorite (math!) but at the same time, one of my favorites because he was such a sweet sweet man. Not to mention hilarious.

This was Coach Walker's teaching philosophy: "I tell you one thing, if you learn it by yourself, if you have to get down and dig for it, it never leaves you. It stays there as long as you live because you had to dig it out of the mud before you learned what it was." --Aunt Adie

I wouldn't go so far as to say much of any of the math I learned in his class is still with me today, but his gentleness, humor, and kind spirit are. He was a true friend to his students. Gosh. What sad, sad news. If I didn't have an event Monday and Tuesday nights, I would be driving to Birmingham to attend this man's funeral. Someone go for me.

Friday, February 06, 2009

EMPTY

1. The digital transition. Is anyone sick of hearing about it? Well guess what. You better get unsick because it got postponed until June. Which means four more months of that scrolling banner letting us know that the digital transition is looming. Here's all I want to know: am I going to have to pay for cable? Because right now I get 12 channels for free and if the digital transition means I am going to have to start paying, then they can postpone it again. Otherwise, let's just get it over with already.

2. Allison (yes, tap class Allison) will be coming to town in March to go to New Kids on the Block With Me. I don't know who is more excited!

3. I am SO SICK of being sick. I have blown my nose all week long. It is getting really old. I don't think I've ever seen the bottom of a box of tissues but I finished my box this week. I am really ready to feel better.

Three is all you get today. Sorry. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

CREEPED

What is it about me and liquor store workers? I had one guy once tell me that I didn't need to show my ID anymore because he'd never forget my face, or something to that effect... and then last night.

Let me back up. Our performance reviews are today. My department is fun and laid-back so people bring "gifts" for their performance reviews to put the boss ladies in a good mood. Breakfast, donuts, cake, candy, etc. So last night I drove to the liquor store closest to my apartment to buy my bosses a tiny little bottle of their favorite spirit.

I was walking around making sure there wasn't an appropriate wine I should get instead. You know how sometimes wine has funny names like Woop Woop or Little Black Dress? I wanted to see if there was one called "A+" or "Give Me a Raise" or something to that degree. I found one called Director's Cut, which would have worked if it hadn't cost so much. I didn't see anything else so I went to the register to pick up some minis.

"Whatcha looking for?" the guy behind the other cash register shouted to me.

"Oh, just browsing for a gift."

"Really? Whatcha buying me?" he replied.

"Well, if you were one of my bosses, I'd be buying you a small treat since tomorrow is my performance review."

He came over to me and asked where I worked. I told him and he took me all the way across the store to show me a handle of something that he thought tasted pretty good. I told him I was on a budget, but thanks, and it would be minis only tonight.

When we got back to the register so I could choose the bottles, he bet all his chips. "Tell you what... you come in here tomorrow with a good review, and I'll buy you a bottle of wine."

I kind of laughed and backed away at the same time. "Oh wow. That's funny."

"I'm serious. You come back in here and tell me how you did and I'll buy you a bottle of wine."

Laugh giggle stammer. "It's a deal." What was I supposed to say? You and your haircut are incredibly creepy?

Bottles in hand, we walked back to his cash register. To my surprise and then to my chagrin, he told me that "because he liked me" he was giving me a discount. Discounts are nice but I sure didn't want to owe him anything. And then the icing on the cake: as he was handing me back my debit card, he slipped a business card in there with his name (Dusty) and cell number scrawled on the back. "I mean it now; you call me and tell me how that review goes." I just sputtered and thanked my way out the door.

Blast. Obviously, I cannot go back there now because OBVIOUSLY, I am not going to call Dusty and tell him jack squat about my review. I kind of wish I hadn't even told him where I worked. I do love a free bottle of wine but even I know when to draw the line.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

THREE

I cannot believe this blog is almost three years old. We need to have a party. Or I need to arrange for the best blog story ever. What do the words "poop" and "loofah" mean to some of you?

If you want to see changes, now's the time to suggest them. We did the name change this time last year... I want to stop using one word titles but that's kind of my "thing." Oh well.

Happy hump day!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

SHUNNED

Dear Maintenance Director Who Got On The Intercom After the Fourth Fire Alarm and Told Us That We Should Ignore Fire Alarms Until Further Notice,

Done and done.

Love,
L

TWITTERY

Recently I have been wondering if I should join Twitter. I mean, I have a blog. Isn't that enough? But apparently Twitter is for a whole different kind of thinking. Blogs are for stories, etc., and Twitter is for brief thoughts. Like, how miserable fire alarms are when it's 20 degrees outside. Or how I watched someone hit the same car three times last week in a parking lot.

I've always thought Twitter was silly. Am I wrong? Would you follow me if I Twittered?

Monday, February 02, 2009

SHOWERED

I had a great trip to Birmingham this weekend. Despite feeling under the weather with a cold, I got to visit with a lot of people and helped throw a fabulous baby shower for the sweet baby Futrell (and her mama). I think Katie and Matt got just about everything they need... all that's missing now is the baby! I even got to feel her wiggling a little bit in Katie's tummy! I think she knew we were having a party for her. I was really excited that Kathryn was there too. It was the first time I have seen her since she is starting to show and I can't wait until I can feel her baby wiggling around too! Look at their cute little tummies! What beautiful friends I have and what a fun season of life this is.

Unfortunately, come Sunday morning, rather witness my mom's debut in the church choir as planned, we were both in bed: her with a vicious stomach bug* and me with my cold and cough. I decided to take my germs elsewhere and after lunch at the Dudleys, I headed back to Tennessee just in time for a walk, the Superbowl, a bowl of ice cream and the Office.

Hope your weekend was just as wonderful!

*Update: turns out Mom's "vicious stomach bug" was straight up FOOD POISONING! I am so glad I didn't eat the pasta salad. It looked right up my alley (feta cheese and all) but for some reason I just didn't touch it. Word to the wise: when throwing a baby shower, try not to kill the 7-months-pregnant guest of honor, her husband, her mother, her sisters, her sister's in-laws, her aunt, and heaven only knows how many of the guests with pasta salad tossed in pure evil.

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