FINISHED

Editor's Note: I completely forgot about this post! Clearly, Evan is home and done with the state fairs. But I couldn't keep these beautiful pictures to myself. Enjoy!

Eventure 4b: People of the Minnesota State Fair

As you'd probably expect, the people at the Great Minnesota Get Together were just as interesting as the food.

For all of you who enjoy people watching, I give you permission to live vicariously through these photographs.

Reasons Why...

...Carnies are both FEARED and LOVED:
...Kool Aid should be used as a beverage and NOT a HAIR DYE:
...Black Wife-Beaters should not be paired with ponytails and colored rubber bands, especially on MEN:
...Designers should consider making bras for MEN:
...Designers should consider making bras for BACKS:
...Faux Plants should be used for home decor (e.g. wreaths, centerpieces, etc) instead of hair decor:


And now, a pictoral Ode to the Fanny Pack.

Fanny Packs are timeless.

"Traditional Fanny Pack"

Fanny Packs are highly functional:

"Fanny Pack GX3000"

Fanny Packs can be a unifying accessory:

"Fittles" Fanny Pack - Wear the Rainbow

Fanny Packs can be ART:

"Wall of Fanny"

Fanny Packs can be expensive (and ignored):

"15.00 Fanny Pack... that no one is looking at"

And finally, proof that...

... Male Gigalows ACTUALLY exist:
...Clogging STILL exists (for BOTH sexes and ALL ages):
...Charles and I can build a Coke bottle house:
...Rain can destroy Coke bottle houses:
... Marketing and Advertising professionals can spend days and months coming up with the perfect advertisement and STILL make basic grammatical errors:

And finally, the GRAND PRIZE photo of all the Eventures:

...State Fairs can bring romance and passion into ANY relationship:
For all I know... this woman could be unconscious. Doesn't appear to bother the lucky man in the picture.
There you have it folks!

It was an exciting month and a half. I appreciate all of your fun comments along the way. Thanks for stopping by Pearls of Wit to check out my Eventures on the road and at our nation's wonderful State Fairs. Who knows? Maybe these stories and pictures have inspired you to attend your own state's fair! DON'T BE SCARED! Take some cash and your camera and be prepared for a hilarious outing.

BLISSFUL

Wow wow wow. Did anyone else have one of the best weekends ever, or was it just me?

Home/Auburn was amazing. It was hands down the best post-graduation roadtrip to Auburn. I got to see all of my out of town friends and then some! If you shared your spinach dip and chips, if you shared your cheese ball and spicy crackers, if you met me underneath the seats at halftime, if you ordered a ticket with mine so we could sit together, if you told me you read my blog but please not to call you out by name, if I ran into you on the street, in the stadium or anywhere in between - THANK YOU! You helped make my trip perfect. It felt so good to be back in Auburn and I loved seeing so many familiar faces.

Speaking of familiar faces - is it bad that I recognized exactly TWO faces in the Tigerwalk? Tuberville and the honorary guest? Nor did I get the memo (literally) to wear blue to this game. I guess I am old, or out of touch. Or both.

Tailgating with the Dudleys

Half of the Bondses

Hey, weren't you on the Office?

One of us is happy about that score...

Toomer's corner was a must

War Eagle, everyone!

COMPLETE

I am almost ashamed to admit this, but at the same time too tickled not to share.

I (and every single one of you who are tired of hearing about this) owe a BIG thanks to a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, for STEALING someone else's Friends season 10 disc 3 and giving it to me! As in he/she saw it sitting out during a party, put it on his/her person and took it. The dwelling from where he/she took it was full of intoxicated people so no one noticed, but here's my favorite part: apparently, upon seeing it lying atop a stack of DVDs, my friend immediately recognized it as the one I was missing (proof nagging works) followed by the realization that I "wanted it more." He/she knew I would take better care of it. Which I will. So I guess rather than saying it was stolen on my behalf, let's just say I adopted the neglected child from a semi-hostile environment.

When I got a text announcing that the DVD had been lifted, I didn't believe it, not until the disc was in my hand. Then I buckled it up safe and sound and took it home, put it in my DVD player and have had it on all night.
So morals of the story: I have amazing friends, and if you want something bad enough and complain long enough, someone will eventually give it to you or steal it for you.

*Note: Obviously I didn't ASK anyone to steal the DVD for me. I'm just the recipient of some old-fashioned Robin Hooding.

ANTICIPATORY

1. I have been meaning to tell you all about my new best friend, a little product called Dr. Feelgood. Ever look in the mirror at the end of the day and wonder where all your makeup went? I started using this as a face primer and boy does it work. If you are looking for something to keep your foundation from sliding right off your face, then run and buy this.

2. Look who was on the Office last night:
Look at that handsome little man behind Pam! I thought I'd have to wait until the game tomorrow to see him but boy was I wrong. Hiiiiiiii, Eric!

3. I am making progress on my third goal for the year. I watched Pulp Fiction last night and while I was entertained, I was not impressed. I can't believe that movie gets as much praise as it does. That one scene in the basement of the pawn shop really freaked me out big time. I also saw and enjoyed Rain Man the other week. Or did I tell you that already?

4. I am so excited about going home I am about to wet my pants. This weekend promises to be filled with good things - Mom, Taziki's, mom's pancakes, Auburn, football, friends, road trips. And there's even plenty of "candy" to get me there and back!

5. So long, Elle Woods. In case you didn't hear, Legally Blonde is closing its doors in October. Yes, I'm blaming Bailey. At least it's going on tour though, and making a stop in Music City, so I'll get to see it eventually.

War Damn Eagle, y'all - I'm off like a prom dress.

SEEDY

The other week I was cutting some fresh fruit for a potluck breakfast here at work. Strawberries, grapes, bananas and cantaloupe. I knocked out the first three without issue but when I cut into the cantaloupe I about threw up.
The seeds inside a fruit or vegetable gross me out in a way I am rarely grossed out. The same thing happened last fall when I was cutting a pepper:
I can handle cucumber seeds, apple seeds, pear seeds, watermelon seeds, etc. But when I open the fruit or vegetable in question and all the seeds are lined up neatly like a row of feasting maggots, consider me disgusted.

Am I the only one who looks at these pictures and wants to BARF?

VIDEOED

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, what's a video worth? How about THREE?

How do you REALLY feel about Tennessee?


Just how bad the gas crisis in Tennessee has become:

A reaction similar to my own when I found out Clay Aiken was (officially) gay:


Enjoy the videos.

WRONG

Let's address the Clay Aiken thing once more. Apparently, some of you don't believe me when I say that I am surprised and sad to read that he is officially, 100% gay.

For the two and a half years since this blog has been up, I've mentioned in passing my Clay obsession. Apparently I wasn't clear enough. So let me break it down for you:

* I bought his debut album the very day it came out. Actually I had my boyfriend at the time go to the store and get it for me in case it sold out while I was in class and meetings.

* In college, four girlfriends and I hopped in a car and drove to Atlanta to see him and Kelly Clarkson in concert. We made friends with a security guard who upgraded our seats AND told us Clay would be coming through the audience. We grabbed dozens of free glow in the dark buttons and spelled C-L-A-Y on our shirts so he would see us from the stage--the stage that I wanted to rush. Then we waited in the parking lot until his bus left and followed it all the way to the interstate.

* Not only have I read his book - twice - I own it. And I was actually given two copies for Christmas the year it came out but took the duplicate copy back to the bookstore.

* I took my mom to Atlanta to see his Christmas show. And this time, I really did rush the stage. I crept to the very front row and sat in an empty seat for a few songs, then went back to join my mom.

* Finally, I am in the Clay Aiken Lovers group on Facebook. And I'm one of FOUR members!

So in summation -- yes, I like Clay Aiken. A lot. And to answer the question I have been asked over and over since the news "broke" yesterday, did I know he was gay? YES. But I was denying it as much as I could. It's like when you see an ugly baby. You know its parents know it's an ugly baby. But they don't want to believe their baby is ugly and they sure can't admit that their baby is ugly. So what do they do? Deny. It's a cute baby, right? She'll grow into a swan one day, right?

I was living in denial. Hoping Clay and I would prove the world wrong. Unfortunately, the day will never come.

All my friends who told me he was gay - you win. You were right. I was wrong. Gaydarless, devastated, and wrong.

I guess I need to move on and you know who is really good-looking? Anderson Cooper.

HEARTBROKEN

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This truly is one of the saddest days of my life.

POMMY

So the Thomas Twins came over after my event last night. You never know what's going to take place when that happens. They are like my own personal Gandolf.

I don't know how we got on the topic of bad cheerleading, but I tried to explain "passing the poms." Knowing it's much easier to do than explain (even though my squad NEVER once did this), one thing led to another and here's what transpired.

Pretend the shoes are giant enormous pom-poms and pretend that we are junior high cheerleaders at cheer camp (MLGM, LC, HCW--this is for y'all):

So clearly, we messed up that time. Elliott got a little too overzealous and started passing his "poms" before I was ready. I think he was concentrating too much on his dancing and not enough on his passing.

So we tried it again:

Still not quite there yet. Our arms were not in sync.

Finally, we got it right, then celebrated a little bit afterward:

And that, dear readers, is passing the poms. Impressed?

GASSY

You guys cannot imagine what has been going on in Nashville regarding gas. It's been so ridiculous that I can't even talk about gas. The word makes me shake. So for the purpose of my story, I'm going to replace the word "gas" with "candy."

Let's travel back in time to two weeks ago, when everyone went and filled up their candy tank because the price of candy was supposed to spike over the weekend because of Hurricane Ike. I made sure my candy tank was full and went about moving and driving all over town. Sunday night, when C and I were returning the truck we'd borrowed to complete my move, we tried to refill the truck with candy but the three candy stations we passed were all sold out of candy. There were plastic bags on each pump. Intrigued but not alarmed, I assumed there'd be more candy in town by the end of the week (so I could head to Memphis as planned) and didn't think about it again.

Thursday night I was driving home and noticed that all the candy stations that were empty before were still empty. Probably not a good sign, but I still had a quarter tank of candy, enough to get me well out of Nashville, so I didn't lose any sleep over it.

Friday was a crazy day at work. We were all running around like mad and just when we thought things couldn't get any nuttier, our department director calls from a candy station to report she is 20 cars deep waiting in line, has been waiting for quite some time already, has no faith in humanity anymore and if any of us did not have a full candy tank, to leave work immediately and go find some candy.

I had a site visit coming so I couldn't go find candy right away. Instead, I pulled up the web site of a local news station. The video I saw was unbelievable. It reminded me of the infamous Creighton Leprechaun video. This is why other countries hate us, y'all. People were waiting two hours in line to fill up anything that would hold candy - candy cans, water bottles, milk jugs, SOUP POTS. I kid you not. Then when the stations ran out, people were leaving their abandoned parked cars at the pumps to be the first in line when the station got more candy. News flash: the candy is at a shortage because people are hoarding it! If people would stop stockpiling, there'd be enough to go around! This is not hard to figure out.

Anyway, I debated going right after work, but decided rush hour traffic + candy shortage = not a promising situation. I came home, packed for Memphis, met C for dinner and then went to find some candy on my way home.

The first station I came to that had candy was an Exxon. I drew a sketch to explain my place in line:
Now you can see this was a divided highway. There was a long, long line of cars that were making a simple right hand turn into the street with the candy shop (red path). I, however, was making a left hand turn, crossing the highway, and trying to merge into the train of cars that had been waiting in line (green path). This was very hard. These drivers were ruthless. I honestly was scared I was going to get a knife or gun pulled on me for trying to merge. I wasn't necessarily trying to cut in line, I just couldn't block the oncoming traffic by staying in the highway. The drivers were practically riding the bumper of the car ahead of them to make sure that I didn't get in front of them. I was wedging myself as much as I could without getting in a fight or a wreck, and finally, after seven cars had passed, I had wedged enough that one more car couldn't get by me. By this time about 30 minutes had passed.

Two lines were being formed: the line that I was in, and then I saw another shorter line coming from the opposite direction. They were the smart ones (blue asterisk in the sketch).

Security had been hired to keep order at the candy station. As one car would pull away from the pump, the security guard would direct the next car in line to pull into the candy station. It was taking forever.
I was probably ten cars back in my line when the inevitable happened. One man cried out, "mine just turned off?!?!" The woman beside him: "ME TOO!"

What happened next was like something out of a movie. Truly the highlight of my week. While others were panicking and cursing the high heavens, I was laughing my ass off. Again: this is why other countries hate us, everyone. Americans are obnoxious - yet amusing. (For the record: I probably would not have been so entertained if my candy tank was nearly empty and the check gauge light on, but since I was fortunate enough to have a quarter tank remaining, I was able to take the situation lightly.)

As all the candy pumps began shutting off one by one, the owner of the candy station came running out of the store like he was on fire. His arms were waving, and he was screaming "NO MORE CANDY! THERE'S NO MORE CANDY!"

Cue the security guards. The one that was patrolling the incoming cars picked up a sign that was lying at the ready on the curb. She marched over to the line of cars, planted her feet wide, held her sign up high in the air (which read OUT OF CANDY) and bellowed, "There is NO MORE CANDY at this station. Turn around now. NO MORE CANDY!"

Luckily, as you can see from the picture, I was in a good spot for turning around. Quickly, I whipped a U turn as I heard the loud upheaval of frustration coming from the cars around me. Everyone's window was down since everyone's AC was off (saving their candy, of course) and you could hear people screaming and hollering ("oh NO they did not just run out of candy after I've been sitting here for an hour!"). Once again, I was not frustrated. I was genuinely amused! All those cars that were adamant about not letting me in front of them? Not a single one of them got candy anyway!

I remembered seeing another station on my way to dinner that looked like it had candy. Whether or not it still had any candy by now was anyone's guess but I decided to go down there anyway.

It was a smaller station and there were fewer cars there. We were being funneled into smaller lines around the station and it was resulting in a huge flustercluck:
The redneck in the white car ahead of me was told to go one way, but then changed his mind and kind of cut of me off. I looked at him, which prompted him to yell "HE TOLD ME TO GET IN THIS LINE AND I'M NEXT!" I was stunned. Did he hear himself? I decided the best way to make him feel dumb was just to respond very politely and quietly with "okay." His blank stare indicated that wasn't the response he'd expected. I think he'd been ready for a fight, but I won before it started. "Thanks," was his sheepish, ashamed reply.

There was a $25 maximum purchase on the candy at this station, to make sure as many people were served as possible before the candy ran out. While the redneck in front of me was inside paying for his candy and a 12-pack, I talked to the owner of the station. He explained that he got his candy that afternoon and the worst part is that he wasn't scheduled to get anymore candy until next Friday (a whole week later). He said he only received 1,000 gallons of candy, and earlier that day the station across the street got 7,000 and it was all gone in 5 hours. Our conversation was effectively ended after he told me he expected to go dry any minute.

Luckily, the redneck came back outside and got his car out of my way so I could get my $25 worth of candy, or 6.11 gallons, or mere quarter of a tank, before there was no more to get. I knew I could make it most of the way to Memphis on a half tank of candy, so I felt good about my situation. Mission: successful.

Of course as I was leaving town Saturday morning I saw station after station with lines of cars waiting to get candy. But here's the best part: 20 miles outside of Nashville, it's like the candy crisis doesn't exist. Not only did I not have to wait at a pump, there were empty pumps all around me and I "only" paid $3.77 a gallon.

I had a lovely time in Memphis (more on that later). I filled up before I left and stopped on my way home to fill up at the very same station where I filled up Saturday morning. And now my car is parked at my apartment, full as a tick, because I walked to work today. I am a little scared my candy will be siphoned since you can see my candy gauge is on F, but I'll cross that bridge if I get to it. All I know is I have enough candy to get me to Alabama this weekend and that's all that I care about right now.

I watched the news last night and read an article about the candy situation. The pipes that bring us our candy all the way from Houston have been turned back on, are running normally and the situation will go away and the market return to normal if people stop freaking out and topping off at every station they can. And if they stop filling up anything other than their car's candy tank.

AND, I bet it would also help the situation if people would refrain from going to the empty candy stations, selling cans of candy from the back of their car for $10 a gallon, and then also telling the location of the station where they filled up the candy cans for an additional $5 (true story).

PIRATEY

1. It was another unexpected tear-jerker of a morning here at work. The songwriter who wrote "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" as well as "Come Some Rainy Day" was here, and that song makes me cry like an idiot every time I hear it. I don't even know why.

2. I can't wait to go to Memphis this weekend! Hopefully, little baby Fufu will let his or her mama have a little energy just long enough for me to get a quick, overdue visit in. If I can find gas to get there, that is. Is there a big gas scare in your town? Everyone is freaking out here and pumping gas into anything that'll hold liquid.

3. Speaking of going places, only week until I'm back in Alabama! Woo hoo! I'm excited for several reasons, certainly not least of which is getting to see (almost*) all of my friends and family.

4. Did you know today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Arrrrrgh, mateys. Walk the plank. Ahoy, ahoy. Shiver me timbers. Yo ho, yo ho. Davey Jones' Locker. Savvy?

5. I leave with you with this video. This was brought to my attention today at work. We are all dying for a recording of it. In the meantime, we'll have to settle for a video. Tell me what you think:


*Wes, are you sure you can't skip the convention?

FULL

I am sitting at my computer at work, enjoying a sun-dried tomato and artichoke stuffed boneless chicken breast in a white wine reduction along with mushroom-pared, roasted, herbed new potatoes and grilled pencil asparagus ties. A jumbo lump low-country crab cake in classic remoulade is also on my plate but I'm not enjoying that. Sorry. And in a few minutes I get a chocolate sin cake with a warm molten center accompanied by both cassis coulis and a pistachio anglaise. And to think I was worried about what I'd be eating for dinner tonight! I love my job.

Speaking of work, Billy Bob Thornton was in the house today. He was kind of silly looking. I can't stand celebrities who wear their sunglasses indoors.

ARTSY

Meet Espanita. I am 75% sure that Espanita is going to hang in my living room. I want art that doesn't lock me into a color scheme but is still very bold. I think Espanita fits the bill. I can add just about any color to her and still come out on top. Thoughts?

RECAPTUAL

So, as I mentioned, it was a big weekend for me. Moving and the long-awaited return of my favorite TV show (no, I didn't find the Friends DVD - SNL premiered, in case you hadn't heard). Recaps can be boring, but in this case, a recap is necessary.

Friday I got the keys to my new apartment! C and I filled our cars to the brim with my boxes and small furniture pieces from his storage and then unloaded them all at my new place. That was a good, strong start to the move. Saturday I went shopping and bought a handful of household items, from garbage bags to bed risers. More of the same on Sunday morning/afternoon. It's like a puzzle making everything fit. For instance, none of the drawers in the kitchen are wide enough to hold a standard utensil organizer. So I'm having to get creative. And take a lot of things back (trial and error). Plus, all the walls are cream colored, I'm not allowed to paint, and most of what I own is white (shower curtain, bed, etc) so decorating is going to be tricky.

But I digress.

So then came Sunday evening. C borrowed a truck from a friend and using our superhuman strength (and having removed the drawers), he and I loaded my mattress, box springs, dresser and desk into the truck and then carried them up two flights of stairs into my third-floor apartment. My dresser is actually a chest of drawers and is heavier than most, even with the drawers removed. I had one crumbling, this-is-too-heavy-I-don't-think-I-can-do-this! moment, but in my defense, I had not eaten dinner and I was feeling lightheaded. We got everything inside and in place in the exact same layout as my old bedroom - turns out, the bedroom in the new apartment is the exact same size as my bedroom in my old apartment! Everything fits with space to spare. The only difference is the wall color and the door.

So after we returned the truck, I made up my cloud (which feels even more like a cloud now because it's so high off the ground) and then had the best night's sleep I've had in a few weeks -- and not just because I slept until 8:30 and was still on time for work. And to kick off my week, I walked to work yesterday. So life is good. All that remains to do until I can close the book on this moving process is weed through and get rid of the clothes and boxes that are still in storage, and then I'll start decorating!

Now, for my thoughts on Saturday Night Live. I debated not saying anything about it, because by now the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler cold opening is old news. But I've been looking forward to the return of my favorite show for a long, long time so here goes: my favorite skit was not the opening. Yes, I said it. The opening was very funny, it was the most well-written skit by far, but I laughed a lot harder at Will Forte's dancing coach. I was almost crying from laughing so hard. I wish NBC would post it online, but until they do, here's part of it. And if you don't think I'm going to try to learn that dance, you're wrong. The Jar Glove commercial was funny and I liked Cathy on Weekend Update.

As for Michael Phelps, here's the best way I know to describe him: he's like an airplane. Sitting on the ground, it's just a heap of metal. But when it takes off in the air, fulfilling the purpose for which it was made, it's an amazing feat of nature. Simply mind blowing. But then it lands again and it's just more metal. Same with MP. Unless he's swimming, he's just another boring person. So it shouldn't surprise anyone that Phelps didn't contribute anything to the show. Maybe I need to send him an e-mail similar to the one I sent Tim Tebow in January. Okay. I'm even boring myself with this topic now because it's such old news at this point. Thanks a lot for stealing my thunder, mainstream media. Perhaps I can be one of the first to share with you all this bit of info. Too bad so sad. We'll miss you Amy! But they are looking for a replacement.... hmm.

BLESSED

Before I gloat about being 90% moved into my new apartment and how great it was to sleep in my own bed last night and then walk to work today, and before I talk about SNL even though everyone else already has but SNL is my show so I'm going to talk about it anyway, I have to tell you this story. So check back later for the other stuff.

I was in Wal Mart on Saturday buying a few groceries and other stuff for the apartment. Of course Wal Mart was crowded because it's Wal Mart and therefore always crowded. I had everything I needed, so I was leaving the produce section and heading toward the check out when I heard Hank Williams's "Jambalaya" over the loudspeaker, accompanied by some poor, warbled singing. Had someone hijacked the loudspeaker? Weird.

I got to the check out, waited my turn and was unloading my groceries when I heard the song again, a lot louder this time. And then I saw him.

He was probably 90 years old and dressed from head to toe in baby blue. He was pushing a shopping cart with one hand, and with the other, was holding a tape deck to his ear. "Jambalaya" was playing as loudly as the old tape deck could go and his strained but clear voice singing was even louder. He was strutting back and forth in front of the cash registers, from one side of the store to the other, singing his heart out. As his audience would smile, he'd pause and do a little dance for them, grinning, singing, bright eyes shining, and then shuffle onward, tape blaring, voice warbling.

I've met a lot of cool people in this town with a lot of cool jobs, but none that I have envied more than his. When I grow old and perhaps slightly senile, someone please give me a tape deck and a shopping cart and turn me loose in Wal Mart.

IMPRESSED

I can't believe someone inside of Hollywood finally said what everyone outside of Hollywood is thinking:

"I truly believe that people like myself, who are in a position of entertainers in the limelight, should keep their mouth shut on politics. Because at the end of the day, let me tell you what I'm good at: I'm good at writing songs and singing. What I'm not educated in is the field of political science. And so for me to be sharing my views and influencing people of who I think they should be voting for… I think would be very irresponsible on my part. So I'll just keep my mouth shut on that."

Just guess who said that. You won't believe it. I have totally been underestimating him all these years.

MOVED

I am writing this from my phone while laying on the floor in my new apartment. I've already unpacked several boxes and hooked up my TV. I am really going to like living in Smallville.

ROCKED

Did you watch Fashion Rocks this week? It was UHmazing. Here is your Friday Five, a list of my favorite performances from the show:
5. Chris Brown (check out that flip!)
4. Rihanna
3. Black Eyed Peas
2. JT (duh)
1. JT and Beyonce:

I think I have found a good karaoke duet to try!

ADDRESSED

T-Mobile.
Wachovia.
HSBC.
Macy's.
The Limited.
The Gap.
Netflix.
Entertainment Weekly.
Real Simple.
Allstate.
Amazon.

What do all of these things have in common? I just had to change my address with all of them... one by one. I'm sure there is an easier way to do it. Just don't tell me right now. And yes, I did complete a Change of Address form with the post office.

UPDATEY

A few updates:

I went to Target yesterday to buy/steal my cereal. There were only two boxes left on the shelf, so I had to call a Target Team member and get them to trot to the back to fetch some more. When it was all scanned and done, I paid $5.47 and left the store with four boxes of cereal, one gift card for $5 and a huge smile on my face. It worked! I was nervous the coupons wouldn't work because all four of them said only one per customer or something like that, but the lady scanned them all without a peep. So all I had to pay was 47 cents in tax. Hells, yeah.

Then I headed next door to the Best Buy. Remember how they wouldn't give me my computer? Well I sure showed them: after they were done with it, I wouldn't come pick it up. Haha. For the past few weeks or more, Best Buy has called me about every third day asking me to come pick up my machine. Yesterday I finally acquiesced and went to the store to talk to them about what my options were. To make a boring story short, they applied my diagnostic fee (since they couldn't fix it) toward the fee for sending it off to Geek Squad HQ (Geekville). But I paid for data backup, because even though the Geek told me only one in ten machines prove irrecoverable, I knew if I didn't pay to back it up, mine would inevitably be the one of ten. And four years of pictures and seven years of songs are worth $103.56 to me, so swipe went the debit card and off went my computer.

Gosh, I'm such a sellout. First the coupon thing and now this: I'm thinking of having something reupholstered. I know. Really, whose blog is this? I'm the unmarried non-parent blogger that's supposed to stay away from these topics but oh well. My mom offered to let me have my grandmother's old hideabed sofa and at first I balked. No way. It's ugly. But then I channeled my inner Bonds and remembered the power of reulphostering. So today I requested an estimate for the job, and if it's not too ridiculous, I just might go through with it.

And lastly, the most important update of all, last night I dreamed that I found my long-lost FRIENDS DVD, Season 10, Disc 3. The one with the most important episode of all on it. I dreamed it was in the back of a South Park DVD, which is really odd because I don't watch South Park let alone own a South Park DVD. But maybe it means I am getting closer to finding it whomever I loaned it to is getting closer to finding it.

COUPONLY

"Robbing" CVS and Publix seem to be very popular in the blog world. Not one to ever gravitate towards having to do math, I have chosen convenience over cost so far.

But I couldn't help but notice that Kashi Go Lean, my cereal du jour, was on sale this week at Target: four boxes for $11 and then Target gives you a $5 gift card just for playing. So I did what I was told and printed off four coupons.

Now for the math. Ew. For my sake and yours, I'm going to work the problem out all the way through. Showing my work was always my favorite part of math anyway.

Cost Per Box = 4 /$11
Cost Per Box = $2.75
Without a gift card or coupons, that price alone is affordable compared to what one box normally costs.

BUT I have two coupons for $2 off and two coupons for $1. One coupon per box. Which now makes it:
Total Cost = $(2.75-2.00) + (2.75-2.00) + (2.75-1.00) + (2.75-1.00)
Total Cost = $0.75 + 0.75 + 1.75 + 1.75
Total Cost = $5.00
Again, pretty affordable. But remember Target is giving me a $5 gift card. So:
Total Cost = $(5.00-5)
Total Cost = $0
Which means, guess who is going to get four boxes of her favorite cereal FOR FREE?

Now I may be new to this whole coupon thing but I know FREE is pretty darn affordable, even if I have to carry 3 extra boxes around in my car.

I guess if you've been like me and have been wanting to try the coupon thing but don't think you'll be patient/clever enough for it, wait for a product you use every day to go on sale and give it a try. I'm starting small.

UNFRIENDLY

I did it.

I finally finally did it. And it felt good.

I unfriended someone on Facebook. And yes, it took me a few minutes to figure out how to do it.

There was no animosity. There was no fighting. Nothing bitter to report. I just got tired of being invited to CD release parties and concerts that I never cared to attend. So consider me unsubcribed from your facebook listserve, pal. But best of luck on your career as a musician!

Wow. That felt good. And he is not the only one guilty of over-inviting me to music-related stuff. At least I live in the same city he does. Certain aspiring artists keep getting inviting me to CD release parties and concerts in Atlanta. Hmmm. Maybe this facebook unfriending thing is not so bad after all!

UNHOMELESS

So I forked over the deposit this weekend on the new apartment. Hooray! Only one thing left to do now: move into it! Since I'm sitting pretty for at least a few more days, I'm not in a huge hurry to move. Especially considering I just moved. It's a highly unappealing thought to consider having to carry around all those boxes that are so neatly stacked and stored right now.

You see, in case anyone forgot, the new place is small. I've started calling it Smallville. But it's cute and clean and a great fit! Just the right size for me, but NOT the right size for me and any junk I've been lugging from place to place for three years. So, I think what I'll do is plan to get my big items in first: bed, dresser, TV, etc so at least I can stay there. Then, I need to weed through the rest. I'm planning to throw stuff away, take stuff home with me and as I already mentioned, donate stuff as well. (Side note: when I got to my car after my event last night, the bar with my hanging clothes had fallen down. There weren't even that many clothes hanging on it! I don't get it! That makes two bars that have fallen down as a result of my hanging clothes. Terrible.) Then, as I weed and sort, I'll move what makes the cut into the new apartment.

Which means that I get to buy stuff to get myself organized! And I don't mean tidy, I mean ORGANIZED. No clutter. I've already visited OrganizedLiving.com, the ContainerStore.com, Organize-It.com and of course Ikea.com to browse for things I want/need.

First step, bed risers. In the mean time, if you have any storage strategies or solutions that work for you, let me know!

ADDICTED

Look who'll be back in just one week:
SNL! I can't wait!

STICKY

One more Eventure post from Evan to get you through the weekend...

Stick a fork in me folks, cause I'm done!

I just wrapped up the fourth and final stop of my month and a half long tour with a mobile marketing campaign. I must admit, the Minnesota State Fair not only met my expectations, it exceeded them!

To give you an accurate report of my experience, I am going to split the Minnesota Eventures into two different posts.

Without further ado, I present to you Eventure 4a: FOOD of the Minnesota State Fair.

As predicted, you could find ANYTHING On-A-Stick!

1. Banquet On A Stick (Pronto Pup):
2. Belgian Waffle On A Stick:
3. Butterscottish On A Stick:
4. Cheesecake On A Stick:
5. Fried Fruit On A Stick:
6. Frozen Redbull On A Stick:
7. Hotdish On A Stick: If any one of you fellow southerners fall victim to any hecklers who make fun of us using "coke" as a catchall term for soft-drinks (or "pop" as other people would call it), here is some ammunition!

This is a recent conversation I had with a Minnesotan:

Minnesotan: You should try Hotdish On A Stick.
Me: What in the world is "Haddish"?
Minnesotan: You know, "Hotdish".
Me: No, I don't know "Haddish".
Minnesotan: Not "Haddish"... "Hot Dish".
Me: What is "Hot Dish"?
Minnesotan: Hmm. It's hard to explain.
Me: [very confused] What is in a hot dish?
Minnesotan: There's many types of hotdish with different things in it.
Me: [still confused] What do you mean "different things in it"? Like a casserole?
Minnesotan: NO. It's hotdish.
Me: Like a casserole?
Minnesotan: What's a casserole?

[conversation continues aimlessly as I try to convince her a casserole is the same as her so-called hotdish]

Me: [to another Minnesotan nearby] What's the difference between a hotdish and a casserole?
Other Minnesotan: There isn't a difference
Me: [laughter] A Casserole comes in a hotdish!
Fellow Colleague/Texan: Would you order a cardboard box from McDonald's if you wanted a Big Mac? I don't think so! [laughter]

So there it is... we call all soft drinks coke, and they call all casseroles "Hotdish!"
8. Key Lime Pie On A Stick:
9. Naked Pickle On A Stick:
10. Pizza On A Stick:
11. Puff Daddy On A Stick:
12. Reuben On A Stick:
13. Scotch Eggs and Meatball On A Stick:
14. Shrimp On A Stick:
15. Smores On A Stick:
16. Spaghetti and Meatball Dinner On A Stick:
17. Teriyaki Ostrich On A Stick (really?... no, really?):
18. Tots On A Stick:
19. Walleye On A Stick:
20. For all of you Obama fans out there:
And for all of you who like to eat your food on a plate:
Other dining options included:

Pig Lickers (chocolate covered bacon sprinkled with sea salt):

(Editor's note: that looks DELICIOUS. Do they sell those online? -LJ)

Shamrock's Leprechaun Legs (lightly battered, deep fried green beans):
Fried cheese curds:
Deep Fried Spam Curds:
Grilled Chocolate Sandwiches:
And there's nothing better to wash down the Grilled Chocolate Sandwich with than All You Can Drink MILK:

There you have it! I bet all of you are hungry now, right?

Coming Soon: Eventure 4b -- The PEOPLE of the Great Minnesota Get-Together.