Tuesday, August 28, 2007


I don't do horror movies.

I scare incredibly easy and ever since I watched Jaws in like second grade, the suspense music and blood and screaming is just too much for me. My imagination goes haywire afterward and I will spend the next week convinced I have a killer (or a shark) underneath my bed, my desk, my couch or wherever I happen to be sitting when the ice maker rumbles and scares me silly.

I have been coerced (bribed?) into seeing a few horror movies throughout the years (including one VERY unsuccessful group attempt at getting me to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre), but as a rule, the closest I'll get to any slasher, scary, horror bloody film is the unexpected preview during Real World or American Idol.

Enter Video On Demand.

I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was bored. I guess I wanted to check something off my list of movies I really should get around to seeing. Maybe I was just punishing myself for something I didn't know I'd done wrong. Maybe my roommate slipped drugs into my dinner and I was high. Regardless - the why or the motive isn't as important as the action, so let me tell you what I did:

By myself...
with no one making me watch it...
I decided last night at 9 pm would be a good time to finally see...

Silence of the Lambs.

I know, right? WTF? What was I thinking!??!??! Someone please tell me. There was no one holding a gun to my head. I wasn't going to win a bet. There was no cash involved. I guess I just decided "Hey, I think it would be really fun to scare myself so badly that I have to sleep with a lamp on tonight." I mean, HAVE I MET MYSELF? I. HATE. SCARY. MOVIES.

In my defense, someone had told me that Silence of the Lambs is a scary movie in the same way The Life of David Gale or Seven are scary movies. Smart and suspenseful scary and not gory and bloody scary. Turns out that person is wrong and it is both smart and suspenseful while bloody and gory.

I tried muting the TV. Movies are 75% as scary when you read the lines on closed captioning. And entire minutes passed where I wasn't even looking at the screen. I couldn't. So there I was hiding under a blanket, not watching the TV, which was on mute. And yet I couldn't turn it off. I just had to see how it ended. And then it didn't. Off he went to find that guy, leaving room for a sequel that I hope I don't see. But I guess anything goes nowadays.

So clearly I am out of my mind. This ought to make for some interesting blog posts while it lasts. I wonder what's next. A tattoo?

1 comment:

  1. quid pro quo, Lindsay...

    Why did you really watch?

    Looking for hygiene advice?

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.


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