Thursday, June 03, 2010


Just when things started to get quiet around here, have I got a tale for you.

Last night I went to that part of town I was telling you about to see Avatar. In doing so, I also discovered we have a $1 movie theater in town, which officially makes Carmike 8 my new cinema of choice. Regardless of where it is.

So after Avatar, which pushes 3 hours long by the way, lets out close to midnight. I notice that at some point during or before the movie, I fidgeted with my ring and it was now snugly on my middle finger. The particular ring, which I happen to love, came from the Limited and is a little too loose on my ring finger and a little too tight on my middle finger. And since I have my mother's side of the family's incredibly thick fingers, that's not uncommon. I've gotten rings "stuck" on there before. This was a little bit too tight for comfort though. I tried to tug it loose while driving home, but I was starting to hurt myself. I decided to wait and try with soap and water when I got home.

Soap didn't work. Dishwasher detergent didn't work. Parkay spray butter DIDN'T WORK. I decide to sleep with it elevated and on ice, hoping things would even out overnight and I could tug it loose in the morning.

That plan failed worse than the Top Kill. I woke up and here's what my finger looked like:
I tried submerging my hand in a bucket of ice water. I tried spraying Windex on it. I tried wrapping my finger in dental floss, essentially binding the swelling, and trying to tug it off. Not only was the pain starting to make me physically ill, but I was scared I was going to rip my finger off or break a bone. Not to mention the blisters I was starting to get from all the tugging. Time for medical assistance.

I called my boss to explain this embarrassing situation and she recommended rather than go straight to the ER, I should call my physician and see what they recommend. The nurse said they could cut it off for me, so I got cleaned up and headed that way.I got to the clinic at 9:30 am. At 10, they pull me back to wait for the doctor. AT 10:45 AM - for keep in mind what could be his easiest diagnosis of the day ("you have a ring stuck on your finger!") - the doctor, whose practice I am inclined not to visit anymore because of this little visit, FINALLY comes back to take a look.
He tries a removal method with medical tape first. Sort of like the dental floss in that basically he was trying to bind the swelling enough to wiggle the ring off. Except I start cussing because it hurt so bad. "Are you okay?" he asks. I just nod and exhale, but what I really wanted to say effectively communicated that no, I had been waiting for over an hour for what was quickly turning from a ring removal into a finger amputation and his crafty little method was not working.

He picks up on this and says "yeah, let's cut it off." He hands the nurse this contraption and walks out of the room.
After I made sure she had done this before, she wedged it in place and starts to file my favorite ring in half. Eventually it works but that was not the worst part. If only we had been able to remove it, I could have worn it again (NOT on this finger). But even with the break, it wasn't budging. Time to pry it off. She ends up getting two pairs of forceps, clamping them on either side of the separation, and pulling. She pulls and pulls and finally the ring gives way and breaks apart.
Ironically, my finger hurt worse once the ring had been removed. And it still hurts hours later. And my favorite ring is in pieces. WHAT A BAD DAY!

I don't know if I'll ever wear another ring again. Okay that's a lie. Maybe I should say I don't know if I'll ever wear another ring on THAT finger again.


  1. sorry about your ring but glad it wasn't YOUR FINGER that was in pieces!

  2. the carmike 8 is out by my apartment. you dont like to go out by my house alone?

  3. ouch. I'm sorry they had to break the ring to get it off. I'd be SOL in this situation because my ring is tungsten which cannot be cut. Maybe someone will buy you a new one for your birthday.

  4. this post gave me the hebejeebies just reading it. I CANNOT stand for anything to be tight on my fingers or wrists and I dont know how you went to sleep like that. i end up panicking when i get somethign too tight on me and send myself into a wild conniption fit. sorry you lost the ring, but glad you still have your finger.

  5. Ouch! The rest of the week/weekend can go nowhere but up.

  6. HOLY SMOKES. This goes on your favorite post lists. I love that you said that large fingers run on your mom's side of the family.

    That looks insanely painful. I felt relieve when I saw it broken in two. I think it's good it's broken in two.

    Sorry about your rough day, but I really enjoyed this story!

  7. These pictures make the claustrophobic in me CRINGE! AH! SO glad the situation has been resolved.

  8. "You wanna thank yo mama for a _____ like that..."(fill in the blank.) So sorry Baby girl you got your fingers from me...among other things:)

  9. Oh My Gosh. Matt and I cannot quit laughing. I mean, only after knowing that your finger is still attached to your hand. :) love you, linds!!


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