Thursday, July 05, 2012

ANGRY part 1

"All those who think they have it made take one step forward...not so fast George Banks!" (If you don't know what movie that's from, your life took a terrible turn somewhere.)

Remember how I mentioned that I bought a washer and dryer the day before I bought my couch? I had been looking on Craigslist for a while and had messaged a few people but nothing ever panned out. I've also been talking to my sister about it as she, too, is in the market for a new washer and dryer. So after a few months of casually looking, I ran out of clean sports bras decided I really needed to get one soon. So on Saturday morning, I hopped on the internet and messaged several people about various washers and dryers.

Long story short, I find one that looks decent and can be delivered and set up that day. Perfect. I go the ATM, get cash, and wait for him to show up.

He looks like one of the bad guys from Law and Order SVU. He comes in to see where they are going to be installing the appliances. He tells me of what I saw on Craigslist this morning, one of the pieces is already sold so he brought a few washers over for me to come choose from. I put on flip flops, go down to his truck and choose a washer.

He and his assistant bring them up and get them installed while I decide it's a good time to stand in my kitchen and chop vegetables (read: have a knife in my hand). Oh, what do you know, they don't have a dryer vent hose and I'll have to get one of those. Everything appears to be working so I pay him the cash, sign a little "invoice" guaranteeing my 90 day warranty, which he explains means that if something doesn't work, they don't fix the units, just replace them... with whatever is "in stock" at the time. Also, no cash refunds, just a fix or replacement.

The next day, after I got the dryer hose vent installed (so much easier said than done) I said a prayer as I was loading up my sheets into the washer. Everything worked. Put them in the dryer. Everything worked. Other than being really loud, everything worked the way it was supposed to.

Enter that little quote from George Banks. Everything was just going too well.

Yesterday, I threw a load of whites in before I went to the pool. Came back, everything seemed fine and I put them in the dryer. An hour later, they still weren't dry. "That's weird. Must just be the towels," I thought, and restarted the dryer before I climbed into bed.

This morning I woke up and went to grab a clean sports bra check to make sure my clothes and towels were dry. Imagine my HORROR when I found out they WEREN'T!

I knew something wasn't right. I started the dryer, got dressed and went back to check on it a few minutes later. That's right, the mother-loving dryer wasn't getting the first bit hot to heat my mother-loving, dad burn still pretty wet clothes.

RAGE. FURY. ANGER. All of these emotions overcame me at once. I was ready to drive to this guy's house (had I know where he lives) and pull a Achilles on him.

Yes, I am one headpiece and a spear away from Brad Pitt right now. I text the guy (PS it's 7:24 am at this point):

"Hector*, less than a week after delivery, dryer not heating up to dry clothes. Pretty angry about this."

*His name isn't Hector but it may as well be. Regardless, I received no response. I headed to the gym to burn off some of the rage. A full hour goes by. I re-send the message.

"Hector*, less than a week after delivery, dryer not heating up to dry clothes. Pretty angry about this."

45 minutes later: "No problem, are you available this afternoon?"


"You sure don't seem surprised. And no I am not available, I am working then I have plans**."
"Ok, let me know when you're available?"

**I DO have plans. But even if I didn't, there's no way I am letting this guy back into my home with no one else around so I needed to buy some time. Next, I sent out a APB to my brawniest, most-intimidating friend Brad.

"I need to borrow you."
"Alright, when?"
"Guy sold me a crap washer/dryer on CL but it came with 90 day warranty so he's either gonna fix or bring another one and I don't want to be there alone when he does. Can you pretend to be my boyfriend who is always around and would kick this guy's ass if he showed up in the middle of the night? He looks like he's in a gang. And knows where I live and that I live alone. And that I am angry with him."
"Yep, I can do that."

A few hours go by while I get to work and get started on some projects. I notice my phone is blinking.

It's from Hector. It's a little surprised face. That's it.

My response: "I am working on finding a time. Again, I am really disappointed that it stopped working after 1 use. I'm not in the mood for emoticons."


Stay tuned. This is so, SO far from over.

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