HAMMED

This time last year, I was in DC! They day before Thanksgiving, my mom, my sister her mother-in-law and I were out running final pre-holiday errands, including loading up the trunk with Georgetown Cupcakes and picking up one small Honeybaked Ham.

Have you ever seen what kind of line is outside the Honeybaked Ham store the day before Thanksgiving? Even though you should have called and reserved your ham, you still have to wait in line to pick it up. And that line made Walmart on a Sunday look like a cake walk. It was so bad that there were policemen patrolling the parking lot and store. Yes, law enforcement was needed to keep order.

So we parked the car a block away at CVS, got in line and waited... and waited... and finally made it into the store to pick up the small, bone-in, spiral cut ham.

We helped ourselves to the samples while waiting in yet another line to purchase the ham, then headed outside. I don't know what made me think to do it, but as we walked by the long, long line and saw one lady rushing through the parking lot, intent written all over her face, I spied an opportunity. I shouted to her "They are all out of ham, we got the last one!"

Heads turned. Fists clenched. My family burst out laughing. "WHAT?!" she exclaimed as she stopped dead in her tracks.

"We got the last one! They are all out!" I repeated.

Before the lady could accost me or steal our ham, I told her I was kidding and they had plenty of ham for her. Despite her visible relief, it was clear that she did not think this dialogue was 1/10th as funny as my mom, sister and I did. "Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving." she muttered as she continued towards the store.

In an instant, I knew I had stumbled onto something amazing. The next person we passed in the parking lot: "They're all out of ham; we got the last one!" This gentleman also was indignant. "WHAT!?" "Just kidding, sir! Happy Thanksgiving!" I don't remember what he said as he stalked off but it wasn't laughter.

I was ready to spend the next hour outside that Honeybaked Ham store, telling people they were out of ham but my family feared for our safety so they made me leave. But, you are reading this and have some free time today, I encourage you to go to your local Honeybaked Ham and tell the herd of ham hopefuls that they are S.O.L. It will be the funniest thing you do all holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving!