Wednesday, September 01, 2010

NONCHALANT

Well, I hate to say I told you so, but if you ever heard my Sermon on the Mount about how great Miranda Lambert is, then I TOLD YOU SO. The CMA nominations were announced today and homegirl racked up. Deservedly so. I remember a Certain Someone telling me I should go work for her since I loved her and her album so much. "Just wait until next fall when her album is eligible," I said. Looks like I know what I'm talking about.

Speaking of things I love, a tentative trip to the Auburn/Clemson game has turned into a full-fledged weekend at home with my family. When I found out my sister and her husband had booked flights home for that weekend, I immediately altered my schedule so I could come home Thursday and spend that Friday playing with them and then of course making the pilgrimage to Auburn on Saturday. I can't wait!

And just because I can't bear to dedicate another whole post just to this topic because I am slightly embarrassed but can't resist oversharing, I'll throw it in like an afterthought here (hence the "nonchalant" title): I fixed eHarmony and am now getting matched out of my mind. A new account, one coupon code and three payments of $9.95 later, I can safely communicate with a whole slew of men if I want. The problem is that it's taken on more comedic purposes than romantic ones. Picture me sitting on the couch with a good friend, each of us with an alcoholic beverage in hand and looking at a laptop (aka Julia's house Saturday night [we were supposed to watch the Titans game, oops] and Evan's house last night). So far, not one match has been someone I would have approached in person. Is that a polite way of putting it?

But I have tried to be open-minded, which can be easier said than done. Nothing personal gentlemen, but here's a short list of quick criteria to get your tail "archived" and fast:

*List anything about knights and/or dragons;
*Work in the same building as me - true story!;
*Be 25;
*Mention via word or photo a tractor or race car;
*Be really, really weird looking;
*Go on and on about Bryant Denny stadium and/or the Crimson Tide - I love football too but this is a dating web site not your fantasy draft page... and I hate UAT;
*List your Blackberry as a "can't live without" - I love my phone but I could live without it;
*List oxygen and food as a "can't live without" - you clearly do not have a sense of humor;
*Last but not least and I hate to say it, but bad grammar (brake v. break; bare v. bear; they're, their and there) - what can I say, I'm snobby like that.

Blaaaaah. While very entertaining, the whole thing is depressing! Maybe I'm not as ready to date after all. I find myself comparing every one of them to a Certain Someone. Tell you what, Dr. Warren - you can keep your 70+ matches, guided communication and three payments $9.95 and give me back the one match I still want to be with the most. Deal?

3 comments:

  1. I've been perusing the dating websites lately too. Poor grammar/bad spelling is a definite deal breaker. (Or is it definate dill braker? LOL.) I think of it as a favor to my future children. How can they learn to spell when their father and mother can't agree on how to tell them to spell certain words? Furthermore, if the people can figure out how to put themselves out there on a dating website, they should be able to use dictionary.com.

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  2. Your short list of bad criteria is HILARIOUS and I agree in full with all of them. Mr. Awesome who doesn't obsess about dragons or race cars is certainly out there!

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  3. yes these are all most certainly deal breakers!

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Oh goody!

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