Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I saw this article on another blog I read and it really spoke to me. It's from a website called Healthy Mind, Fit Body (both of which I am working on).

"When you are attempting to do something big in your life, whether it’s to start a new business, lose 75 pounds, or simply being a more positive person, it is so important to not be attached to the outcome.

I know I used to have a huge problem with being way to attached to outcomes. Not achieving my goal times in swimming would bring me down. Not earning “enough” money would lower my self esteem. Not having the life I wanted would stress me out!

It is a hard thing to do, but once you accept this idea of non-attachment, life flows a lot more smoothly.

Let’s say you are the person that wants to lose 75 pounds. You jump on this new low carb diet full force, and you lose 3 pounds the first week. The next week you lose 2 more. The following week you don’t lose any weight. “That’s it! I’m going back to pizza!” you proclaim out of frustration. This is exactly why diets don’t work, and why they are always attached to an often immediate outcome.

Instead, a good way to look at it is- I’m changing my lifestyle to health. I am going to eat as healthy as I can most of the time, and I’m not going to step on the scale daily. If I change my eating lifestyle to a healthy one, I know I am doing the best thing for myself that I can. The results will show eventually, and I will be growing as a person and not be filled with stress and anxiety over it.

Try it out with some smaller things. Give someone a compliment today and don’t even worry about their reaction. Do it because you want to brighten their day! Non-attachment is one of the keys to maintaining a relaxed, happy life, as opposed to basing everything you do on someone else’s standard."

I'm working on losing weight. Recently, someone at work noticed and asked how much I'd lost. I said "oh I don't know, I don't really use a scale. I use a mirror, ha ha." He looked me up and down. "Thirty pounds?" ...... really? No. No sir, I have not lost 30 lbs. But I appreciate the vote of confidence, I guess? The point of this story speaks to my goal. I don't have a specific number in mind... I have a specific shape in mind! And whatever number that is, so be it.

This little lesson applies to more than just weight loss though. The last line in the second paragraph about getting stressed out about "not having the life I want" REALLY hit home. You can probably guess why. Some days I look around my small apartment, count how many baby gifts I am purchasing and wonder how I got so... behind. That's how I feel. Behind. Some days I blame him, some days I blame myself. I wasn't in a big fat hurry to have "the life I want" with him, I just felt secure and content knowing it was coming. And more importantly, I had found someone to share it with. I would have waited quite some time. He was enough. Now that even that hope has been taken away, I feel extra behind.

Regardless, I am where I am and it is what it is. I can only make choices that improve my quality of life TODAY. And let the outcome take care of itself. Can I get an Amen?


  1. AMEN!! I really needed to hear these words today. Thanks.

  2. Amen! Healthy is a good title- because I really think, after talking with you last night, that in all of your excercising, your goal isn't just physical. It's emotional and mental, too! I am so proud of you! :)

  3. I am never too old to learn from my children--in fact, the older I get, the more they teach me. Lindsay: you are not are way ahead of many people I know!

  4. Love this- I am trying to lose weight too- needed this refreshing outlook! Would love to hear your "weight loss" ideas....

    Also, I enjoy reading your love story-I know there is a happily EVER after in sight! Just keep the story going :)

    ps- don't you wish you were in rush right now- i'd give anything to be at pref day and hear you sing!

  5. SO well said, Lindsay. Love your new outlook. I definitely needed to hear these words today too!

  6. LJ! You are not BHIND. You honestly only feel that way because so many people in the South get married and start having babies YOUNG! It's refreshing to be in a place with so many people older than me who aren't married and aren't having babies. That my dear, is what we can call NORMAL!

  7. I just had this conversation with a recent female Auburn grad. The early marriage and having babies isn't average. I'm serious. All I know is that God crafted you perfectly (and you can work however hard...or take care of that perfect body...and amazing gift of a voice, by the way) and He has a perfect plan for you. And that plan can't be put in a "box" of an Auburn plan. Don't waste too much time wondering what is to come. God has too much planned for you to be doing right now in this season. (This tendency to wish for the next season doesn't stop on its own...once you have kids, it's easy to with them to sleep through the night, then to stop throwing food across the table, to go to school, to get out of the house, to come back and visit, etc.) Much love to you friend. Thank you for sharing so creatively through the written word.

  8. Your recent posts have really hit home with me. I feel like I'm in the same boat-- mid-20s, single with marriage nowhere on the immediate horizon. I struggle to be content with where God has me right now but pray that I'll live fully in the now. Loved the above comment by kpmantooth-- this early marriage, babies thing really is the exception even though it doesn't always feel that way!

    By the way, I'm a fellow Bham girl, lived in the north for college and post-college and am now living in the South once again. I can't remember how I first found your blog but have a few friends who are fellow readers. You've got a writing gift, girl!


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