Thursday, April 16, 2009

STALKED (part 6)

So he wrote back. A few things before I share what he wrote:

1. I am not writing him back;
2. You all were right and I am genuinely surprised that his intentions were of the romantic nature. I thought he had more common sense, but apparently not;
3. C has seen this, and we just laughed about it;
4. I hate his comma vomit and I do drink beverages stronger than coffee: two of the MANY reasons it would never work. I mean, not that I am even considering it. I am very, very, very much not. AHHH! I am done talking about this.

Hi Lindsay. I know this is very slow to answer your email, but let me explain, I did not have the use of my computer for more than a month, for reasons too lengthy to explain at this time, that's the reason I'm just now responding. Any way,I was not comfortable visiting you at work,for, I felt like I was interfering with your work or getting in your way.I did not want that,and I"m quite sure you did not either,.
However , I think you are a very nice lady, with a lot of class, and I still would like the opportunity to get to know you. I will comply with your request not to bother you at work, but email me and lets get together for coffee, sometime where we can just talk.
I dont drink anything stronger than coffee,and I have been single since my wife, [wife's name], died of cancer almost twelve years ago. At this time, Icant think of anything more pleasant than sitting across the table from a lovely, charming lady ,listening to her life story,sharing a few laughs, and just getting acquainted.
and, of course, you fit all those criteria I mentioned .
So how about it? Email me and give me some good news. say yes.
Your Friend


  1. Speaking of vomit, that whole email makes me want to vomit! What a sicko!

  2. oh my gosh.

    wow linds, seems he's finally picked up on all your subliminal passes at him. ha!

    go for it!

    (go for the toilet and vomit, of course)

  3. okay, I really didn't think he was romantically interested! wow.

  4. Before I read this, I was thinking you probably shouldn't have sent that original email because he probably wasn't romantically interested.

    Dead wrong! He was looking for someone to talk dreams with and keep warm at night. Barf. How old is he? Why can't he just take a yoga class and meet some ladies that way if he's so lonely?

    I can't believe he wants a pity date.

  5. UNREAL, what a crazy. How can he not tell that you are waaay too young for him - in addition to the fact that he is clearly just odd. How strange. Glad you dumped him!

  6. Ok, I'll be honest he's kind of making me sad. BUT, that doesn't take away from his creepiness. He just sounds lonely, you know? Come on Lindsay, give 'em one more chance. Kidding. Glad you put an end to it!

  7. YUCK. If the opportunity ever presents itself again, say/write this:

    Even if I were available I wouldn't date you because you suck at grammar.

  8. I have to say, I have loved the "stalked" series!! It just keeps getting better! I'd be willing to bet he's going to email you again. But you handled the whole situation perfectly. Being the lovely, charming lady that you are! ;-)

  9. I can't decide if "listening to her life story" or "very slow to answer your email" is my favorite part. My life story = 1/4 long as his and he responded within 48 hours of the email.

  10. This is fantastic!!! Isn't Tom old? Like you could be his daughter old?

  11. Freaky and hilarious. i like it! I kinda hope he doesn't give up so I can look forward to more hysterical updates :)

  12. Close, Elizabeth. I could be his granddaughter old.

  13. Check out my blog today....I picked you as one of my favs, crazy Tom and all!

  14. i mean, he's really creepy. but part of me feels so sorry for this dude. you know he's probably checked his email like a million times, hoping for a yes. poor tom. but really, it's poor you!

  15. Send him to That's where I find all my widowers.

  16. i knew he was in love with you. the guy is creepy, you handled it well and yes, i feel sorry for him. can you just tell him you are off the market and it wouldnt be appropriate for you to hang out with him given that you are in a relationship? let ole tom down easy.

  17. Does your office security know about this situation? Your boss? You might want to consider taking some more forceful action, LJ. This dude is a major creepster and I'm worried about you - especially when you work the hours you work!

  18. I think you should reply and kindly tell him you have a man already--oh, and that you like to drink vino.


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