Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Last night I did something I NEVER thought I would do. Are you ready for this? Willingly, I went to a WWE Raw show that was filming downtown.

Okay, let's explain the reasons why before you start to judge me: 1. C had free tickets 2. in his company's corporate suite 3. where they serve free food and beverages. Those sound like three pretty good reasons to try anything, don't you agree?

So we got there just in time to see them flipping the mat from an ECW taping to air later this week, to a RAW taping that was going to air live! I could not get over how many people were there. The arena was almost completely full.The show opened with a clip of last week's cliffhanging situation - and by the way, I was BESIDE myself with how fake all of this is. But here's the story: Two weeks ago, Vince McMahon (owner of WWE) was about to fire Randy Orton, which made Randy mad so he beat the crap out of Vince, angering Vince's son Shane. So last week, Shane finds Randy and they get into an "unsanctioned fight" which ends when Randy knocks him out cold. His sister Stephanie, the GM of WWE, came to the ring and got in Randy's face for going after her brother. That didn't sit too well with Randy so he knocked her out too, which you can see here. Well, surprise surprise - it turns out Stephanie is married to Triple H, an oversized wrestler whose trademark is a sledgehammer (no, not a move - an actual sledgehammer he totes around). Seeing his wife out cold on the mat, Triple H runs to her, causing Orton to flee, and they stare at each other with the heat of a thousand fires. Watch Triple H's interview here. It's so bad it's funny.

So that set the scene for last night. In Stephanie's absence, Vickie is the new WWE GM. John Cena doesn't like that. He comes out to tell her so. He says she is only GM now because her husband (Edge) is the current world champion and she needs to do the right thing and let Cena have a rematch with him. Tonight! Of course Edge is waiting backstage with his belt and a mic in hand. He comes out and gets in Cena's face. We are left with the promise that Cena will wrestle Vickie's family (husband Edge) or friend (this giant they call Big Show).

I was on the edge of my seat. I have always made fun of wrestling, but after last night I totally see how people get sucked in to this stuff. The acting is bad, the dialogue is horrible, the wrestling is contrived, but you can't help but care!

So we have a few fights to pass the time. One was with this little guy named Jamie, who claimed he wanted to make it to Wrestlemania. They turn him loose against this huge guy who knocked him out in exactly 29 seconds. Even worse, he never got up. They ended up having to take poor old Jamie out on a stretcher:
All the while they were dropping in videos of what's going on backstage. Is Randy Orton going to come out? Will Triple H show up? Will Vickie make Cena fight her husband or not?

Eventually Cena fought Vickie's nephew and won pretty easily. That made her mad and she stormed offstage. Meanwhile, Randy Orton decided he and his friends would wait for Triple H on the mat. Cue Triple H's arrival. They showed him getting out of his car and marching straight into the arena, sledgehammer in hand:
Orton asks Triple H to put his sledgehammer down so they can fight the right way. He does and enters the ring. Just as Orton is about to attack, Triple H pulls out ANOTHER sledgehammer that was taped to his back and starts swinging. Orton and his two buddies run out of the arena. H follows them. We see video footage of them backstage, running into a dressing room and putting all the furniture against the door to keep H out. He hammers his way in. They escape and hop in a getaway car but not before H takes his sledgehammer to the window and throws it at the car.

Just as we were getting up to leave, Vickie comes back out and announces that Cena will fight her husband Edge after all. Hooray! The fight isn't going well for John Cena, especially when Big Show comes to Edge's rescue and makes an illegal move on Cena. Thanks to the illegal move, the fight is DQed. But Cena, not wanting to miss his opportunity, makes a triumphant come back and knocks them both out, signaling the end of the night and we head home.

Now. For those of you thinking I am addicted, let me stop you right there. I am not getting addicted to this crap. Just because I'll tune in next week to see if Orton finally faces Triple H does not mean that I am addicted. I'm merely doing research on the many ideas I have up my sleeve to make money off WWE. In a nutshell, I want to do a Mystery Science Theater setup where I dub voices over the show because it really could be funny.

Next up: details on my March madness poll and my plans for the Indy 500.


  1. You are a funny, funny girl!

  2. I've never understood why guys like this stuff. My boys always loved it when they were young. In fact, I have pictures of Ben dressed up like a wrestler.

  3. Those little boy shorts/speedos they wear are mighty sexy:)

  4. I'm sure Ben was part of the group that went when it was in Birmingham. I remember because my grade had a field trip to Chattanooga and several boys decided not to go because there was a chance we wouldn't be back in time for them to go to the thing that night at the BJCC. They had to write really long papers instead.

  5. My brother and I were obsessed with the WWE when we were little. Watched every WrestleMania, had the action figures, everything. There was even a Saturday morning cartoon with several of the characters that we watched, like it was our full time job. If after reading this, you begin to question our friendship, I totally understand.

  6. It is like a soap opera for guys and apparently, you! You told the story like you knew these people. :)

    For the reasons you stated, I would've gone too...

  7. I'm embarrassed for you after reading this Lindsay... couldn't even finish reading the post! LOL. Glad you got free food & beverages though. I can't say much... I'm going to see RIVERDANCE for free tonight.

  8. I used to eat, sleep, and breathe this stuff!!!

  9. whoa, I really couldn't keep up with all of that! hilarious.

    Eric -- really?!?!

  10. No wonder I didn't get a phone call back from you! :) Wow. Two words: Cohin Kakar

  11. I am quite confused as to who's blog I am reading, and especially by the comment above! Haha small world!


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