Friday, February 08, 2008


Okay. I may start to take this personally. I have been unfriended (for the second time [that I know of]) on Facebook.

It's not as bad as it sounds. In the first instance of unfriending, more than a month went by before I even noticed. "Bear" (as in Bryant) and I had been friends for a while, but it's no secret that last fall and winter, I got a little busy. I was in town all of five weekends between August 06 and January 07, so pardon me for prioritizing my free time. It wasn't until April, that I noticed I was no longer receiving Bear's status changes. Not that I missed them. More often than not they were about Nick Saban - remember UAT had just hired him in January.

So I pull up Bear's profile and skim around. Something was different. There was no box for me to write on his wall. I scroll up. There it was: Add Bear to Friends. WTF?

Honest to goodness, I burst out laughing. Is this junior high? Is unfriending on Facebook the new telling the teacher? My curiosity got the best of me and I sent Bear and e-mail, short and sweet. "Hey there - did you unfriend me?"

Later that day I got a reply. Yes, I had been unfriended. Apparently I wasn't returning Bear's calls as often as he preferred, and frustrated with the situation, he took matters into his own hands. "Maybe it was immature to do that on Facebook, maybe not. I'm willing to 're-friend' if you want to," he wrote.

Not only did I never write him back, but we're still not friends. It's best to let sleeping dogs lie, don't you think?

The second case is a little different. This friend went MIA off of Facebook for a while, and I noticed he/she was back on yesterday. I clicked on his/her profile and was a little offended to see Add X To Friends. But, it looks like someone did some friend weeding (I'll let Jon David explain what that is) so I'm not taking it personally. Except that I really did think we were friends, but whatever.

So what the heck people? If you think you have too many friends on Facebook that you have to weed them out, that's no one's fault but your own. And if you think you have been so poorly mistreated by a friend that you resort to unfriending them? Once again, probably no one's fault but your own. Or, just "reject" them in the first place - I've done it! It just saves you from having to unfriend them later!

In either case, maybe you should dig down deep in your heart and think about if you really should be on Facebook if you are unfriending people because you have too many friends, or because your feelings get hurt too easily.

Consider this officially added to my Rules of Facebook (you friend weeders pay special attention to Rule Number 5).


  1. I was unfriended by a chick for doing nothing, I had a friend actually tell me it might happen because she had unfriended him and said that it was his fault. But there was no call for what she did to him. I told that bitch off! allright 2 points? She wasnt a close friend in any respects. still a bizarre way to make a new enemy for no reason

  2. I friend weed like a mutha.

  3. I think I know who you're talking about! Although I'm sure there is way more than one "Bear" at UAT. Message me and we can find out!

  4. as you know, i was late to join the facebook phenomenon. i rarely keep up with the thing...BUT i must let you know that i feel totally guilty every time i reject the "join this cause" invitation. it's like it makes me feel un-philanthropic that i didn't join the nine millionth "save this dying dog" cause. i mean, what good does me clicking "accept" do for that dog? if it isn't one of your facebook rules, it should be (one must not feel guilty for rejecting causes or groups that one wants no part of).

  5. I'm sure I've been unfriended before. Bear's behavior still makes me giggle.

  6. I have one friend I'm considering removing seeing as how we don't have any real close association. I only met her in person once when she was dating a friend of mine many months ago and we've chatted on facebook a few times. But it's been a few months since my friend broke up with her. She's nice and all. but I don't feel the need to really be connected to her right now through facebook.

  7. The idea of unfriending people concerns me a little.

    First of all, I think it would create an awkward situation if you were to ever bump into an unfriended person on the street or in a social setting. Chances are that you would probably ignore one another, but what if it reared its awkward head?

    Second, if part of your professional life is networking, then why unfriend anyone? You never know who might send you business.

    As for myself, I do have a few people on facebook who I find rather annoying, so I just ignore their updates. I never share anything of myself that I wouldn't want anyone to see or read, so those folks are ok in my books—except of course, that they may bitch too much about life.

    I've actually only unfriended one person and that was an ex of a friend of mine who requested that I remove them.

  8. There are good reasons to de-friend folks on FB. I worked in in an office where we all got laid off. To support each other we all stayed in contact on FB. After a year of not being in touch with a number of them (no ones fault), I de-friended them. They weren't people I considered real friends even when we were working together. I didn't feel guilty and I'm sure I wasn't missed :).


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