Friday, July 06, 2007

TURNED OFF

I have touched on this topic before, but I feel the need to revisit it.

Vera Bradley.

For my birthday, I asked for and received one more accessory in my Vera "pattern" - the small cosmetic case. I asked for this because when packing, I often find myself haphazardly throwing my perfume, jewelry and other smaller items into my bag. I needed something to put said items in so that my luggage is more organized.

This all started a few months ago when I bought a hair straightener holder. It was my very first Vera purchase. I discovered that the Capri Melon pattern I selected coordinated beautifully with the luggage I already have. And since I have begun traveling with the frequency of an airline stewardess, I decided it wouldn't hurt to pick up a few -- and ONLY a few -- pieces in "my pattern."

As I have been on E-Bay narrowing down which other travel accessories to purchase, I am reminded why I always had such a bad taste for Vera. She draws no line. There are no boundaries to what Vera will make next. Vera Bradley needs to learn to say NO.

Specifically, here are the top 10 things that I could buy in "my pattern" but absolutely never ever will, because even having the options to purchase these items in "my pattern" makes me want to sell both the Vera items that I already own:

10. Jewelry/Accessories (including scarf, headband, earrings, flip flops, belt and more)
9. Pajama Pants
8. Sporting Accessories (Tennis Racquet Cover, Golf Gloves)
7. Cell Phone Pouch
6. File Folders/Notepads
5. Sun Hat
4. Hangers
3. Book Cover
2. Switch Plate
1. Man's Tie, Bow-tie, Cummerbund or Cufflinks (testicles sold separately)

Honorable mentions: Dog leash (could also be used on poor sap who was convinced to wear the tie); wedding garter (to be fair, this product is not officially sold by Vera but made by diehards with authentic Vera fabric).

As Vera continues to retire old pieces and incorporate new ones, I predict that by 2010, the following pieces will be on the market, in whatever pattern you please:
10. Underwear
9. Picture frame mats
8. Automobile Wheel Covers
7. License Plate Frames
6. Toolkits
5. Bed in a Bag
4. Sleeping bags
3. Toilet Seat Covers
2. Bridesmaid Dresses
1. Laundry Bags

Mark my words!

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