Tuesday, May 08, 2007

JUDGMENTAL

Okay, so I am very glad that Queen Elizabeth took time to come to the U.S. I know I sure would've timed my state visit to coincide with the Derby.

I have enjoyed viewing the pictures of Her Majesty touring Virginia, attending the Derby, etc., looking resplendent in such lovely hats and elegant coats in the richest spring colors.

But I have a question.


WHO IN THE HECK PICKS OUT HER SHOES?


The clodhoppers she has worn
nonstop throughout her entire visit conjure up images of Herman Munster meets the Church Lady. Seriously. When my Granny died, we found plenty of cute but sensible shoes in her closet. Had I known the Queen was lacking, I would have shipped them straight to the Palace (and included my phone number for William).

NO!

I mean, she's the Queen of England for pete's sake. First of all, if she got a notion to, she could commission an entire army to do nothing but create fashionable shoes for her. And secondly, if she is only wearing those abominations because they are comfortable, that's just ridiculous. She should wear whatever cute shoes she wants and then the nanosecond they become UNcomfortable - tell somebody! YOU'RE THE QUEEN. I guarantee comfort will never be too far away. Some aide will have whipped off her shoes and started rubbing her feet before she even sits down. They spent $11 million on your visit, Liz, I'm sure VA could have sprung an extra $1000 for an on-call masseuse.

NO!

Don't you think that at all the etiquette lessons and finishing schools I'm sure she had to go through before being passed that enormous tiara, someone should have told her that wearing shoes darker than the darkest shade of one's outfit is a no-no. Pastel coat... black shoes? HORRIBLE. Beige, meet the Queen. Queen, beige; beige, queen.

NO!

Honestly. Before she leaves, they need to run her by a Macy's or Parisian. There's no better U.S. souvenir than a pair of Naturalizers or Easy Spirits, Lizzy!

NO!

1 comment:

Oh goody!

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