Wednesday, April 11, 2007

REGRETFUL

I don't consider myself a person with a lot of regrets. I think I've been fortunate, and though I've endured some difficult circumstances, none of them were a result of anything I did so I can't really chalk them up as my regrets.

But recently someone asked me what my biggest regret is, and it got me thinking. What I'm about to divulge is not only my biggest regret, but also the biggest example of irony in my life to date. I don't talk about it a lot, because it makes me really angry at myself and I try to stay on my good side.

Here we go. My biggest regret.

In June 1997, during the summer break before my freshman year of high school, my family and I went on vacation to Los Angeles. My dad had won a week's stay at a condo in Santa Monica, and we had frequent flyer miles to go for free, so away we went. I was pretty excited, even though I had sprained my ankle very badly two weeks before the vacation (which ended up working out in my favor, because we rented a wheelchair for me at Universal Studios and got to cut all the lines).

On this trip, I had more than $200 cash stolen from my purse (graduation money, Easter money, Christmas money, etc.), we met Jay Leno on the street and enjoyed doing a bunch of touristy stuff, including Walt Disney Land (where the power went off for a few hours), Universal Studios... and the Warner Bros. Studios tour.

"Neat-o, a tour of a real studio," I thought to myself, even though the only Warner Bros. show I knew of was Animaniacs. I certainly knew who George Clooney was, though, so I kept my eyes peeled.

We got there, waited around and rode on a tram. We passed the sound stages for some shows I had heard of, like Family Matters, but a lot of it over my head. My mom was super excited about being on the ER set. We stood in the operating room and saw a fake body used in the operation scenes and walked down the hallway by the nurse's station.

And then...

We went on the set of Friends.

Yes, that's right, I stood on the set of the show that more or less changed my life. The show from where I learned to be funny. The show that, for a few years, was the one constant in my life that I could look forward to, that got me through the week and if that sounds ridiculous, then bite me.

JUST ONE CATCH: I DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE SHOW THEN.

I couldn't even name the six main characters. I remember this, because the tour guide asked if anyone could, and not only could I not name the characters, I couldn't even tell you what show's set we were standing on until she told us where we were.

I don't remember a lot. We got to walk around for a bit, but I can't remember if we were allowed to walk on the actual stage or not, with the apartments and The Orange Couch, because I didn't.

I do remember that some of the furniture from the boy's apartment was in Monica and Rachel's apartment, because they'd just finished the season that ended at the beach (season 3), and Joey's apartment had been used as the beach house they were all staying in. There was still sand on the floor. You could also see the tape on the floor in Monica and Rachel's apartment, marking off where the actors and actresses stood for camera blocking.

Monica and Rachel's apartment shared a wall with the coffee house. I remember seeing The Orange Couch. I walked over to the side of Central Perk, near the door and stood on that street for a while. I remember that the "pavement" didn't feel like pavement at all, but other than that, the street looked real.

And then we left.

So that year, I entered high school full of hopes and dreams, and somewhere near the end of the year (the season finale, I think) I happened to be sitting in our beanbag chair on a Thursday night at 7 p.m.

"Hey, here's that Friends show we went to," I thought. "I think I'll watch it."

So I did. And I was hooked. Ross said Rachel instead of Emily! What would happen?

For the next six years, I begged my dad to arrange for me to go back. "Dad - it'd be like you playing at Augusta National! It's my Masters! Please!" Well of course that didn't work out. As the show gained popularity, tickets became next to impossible to get.

So what do I regret most out of my 23 years on this earth?

I wish I had paid her more attention. I can only imagine what that tour guide said about the show. I might could have sat on The Orange Couch, or sat at Monica's kitchen table. But I didn't. And I never will.

I was led to the river and I did not drink. This is my biggest regret.

1 comment:

  1. you poor girl. you've lived such a tragic life.

    ReplyDelete

Oh goody!

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