Thursday, March 08, 2007

UNENTHUSIASTIC

What a boring week on Idol. Aside from some stupid banter between the judges and some pillow-fights from Shecrest, both nights were pretty lackluster to me. Of course, your early standouts played the part, but even their performances still weren't their absolute best.

Except there was one new development. This week, for the first time ever, Paula actually JUDGED! It was unreal. She was making sense! Both nights she actually used coherent sentences to provide more guidance for the contestants than "You're a star" and "This competition wouldn't be the same without you" and the classic "You look great!" I mean, she was offering them SOUND ADVICE. It was crazy.

But not everyone needed advice. Blake started the show for the boys, and pulled a rabbit out of his hat with a 311 song. I prefer something with a little more singing in it, but whatever. He sold it. Later, Chris R gave a nice cover of a slow Keith Urban song. After both Blake and Chris had given their performances, I realized that we'd heard the best we were going to hear and the show could only go downhill. Which it did.

The excitement that Blake whipped up came to a screeching halt when Sanjaya took the stage. The only thing straight about his performance was his hair. Really. You can't argue with that hair + earrings in both ears + wimpy voice. It truly is not fair that he sings with the boys. I love how he pokes his lips out when he's getting critiqued. That might work on Paula and Shecrest, but not on Simon and Randy! If Dora the explorer and Mowgli from the Jungle Book had a kid, it would be Sanjaya.

Unfortunately, it didn't take too much talent to pick the show back up after Sanjaya. Enter Sundown. The best thing I can say for Sundown is that someone FINALLY got him to cut some of the goatee off. Not all of it, but it was a noticeable difference. Baby steps.

The show continued to drone on and on: Jared did not impress me. I've already made fun of his over the top gestures, and that hasn't gotten any better, and neither has his singing, so what is left to say? What a dud. While Brandon did much better this week than before, he's still not as good as I want him to be. You can do it, Brandon! My roommate and I think he should sing a Lenny Kravitz song. Isn't that who he reminds you of? All he needs is the scarf and glasses. Phil has officially committed Idol suicide. I would rather him stand with his back to the camera than give us that creepy, stalker stare that he manages to work into every performance. Paula was right: he bottoms out on the lower notes but hits the higher notes really well. If he makes it through to next week, which I hope he does, he should remember that morsel of advice, not just because it's good advice, but because it came from Paula and who knows when we'll hear anything sensible from her again. Chris S was good but didn't amaze me. It's a catch-22 to pick a lesser-known song. On one hand, you have the ability to develop it into your own style and be fresh. But on the other hand, I would rather someone pick a well known song and sing the crap out of it. Its more memorable. If the song is recognizable, people will remember it when its voting time.

The girls did a little bit better than the boys but not overwhelmingly better. Jordin took her cue from Blake and managed to Jordin kick off girls' night to a hot start with her song. She opened the show with some sass!

After Jordin, the show hit a lull. We've heard a lot better from Sabrina. Her song was kind of a buzz-kill, or maybe I was too busy worrying about what secret Antonella would reveal. Too bad Antonella can't sing as well as she plays the violin. Haley is simply on the wrong show - she should be over on NBC's Your The One That I Want, auditioning for Sandy, because everything she sings is so cabaret. It's just over the top. And not impressive. Stephanie did okay with her song, though she missed a few notes. We've heard so much better from her, too. What's the deal? And I guess they had to let Gina sing. Boo. She returned to her vocal roots and head-banged her way through her song. I was dizzy just watching her.

Near the end of the show, it was finally time for the fearsome twosome: Lakisha and Melinda. Lakisha did a great job with her song, though I still prefer Katharine McPhee's version from last season. Melinda tore up the stage with her impeccable performance. Simon totally stole my thought - she reminds me of a kitten when she's not singing, all lovable and cuddly and soft, but when that mic is in her hands, she's a tiger out for blood.

It's easy to see that Haley is going home, but it was a little tougher to call who would join her. After a full day of contemplation, I am predicting that it will be Jared, Sabrina and FINALLY Sanjaya.

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