Wednesday, February 21, 2007


American Idol kicked off its sixth season last night. I have decided to do a weekly recap of Idol, since a) I like the show b) I think I'm funny and c) it's still my blog!

I have to say that I am not very pumped up about this Top 24. I believe we'll have another great Top 12 once we whittle it down to that. But there are so many random weak lemons in the Top 24 that we have to suffer through for three weeks (I'm talking to you, Antonella). Without consulting any outside sources lest my opinions be tainted, here we go with week one.

Week Weak One - Boys

We began the show with a hearty welcome from Ryan Shecrest. (By the way Ryan, the Newsies called, they want their costume back.) The contestant parade and the judges intro followed.

The first performance of the night came from Rudy, who - judging by his shirt - is sponsored by Target. Rudy sang "Free Ride," but should have changed the words to "Free Time" because he had way too much of it in this song. As a result, there was excessive use of "woo!" and "yeah!". Rudy, leave the nervous squalling to Taylor Hicks. Randy hit the nail on the head when he labeled this performance corny.

Following Rudy was Brandon the Backup Singer. Heading into the night as one of my two favorites, Brandon gave a lively performance of "Rock With You." Unfortunately, his excessive exposure during the audition coverage bit him in the hiney tonight because we all have heard Brandon sing better. He did okay with the song, but it was not his best. Randy summed it best when he advised Brandon to stick to the melody more instead of wavering off on runs. Brandons's teeth definitely clocked in for live TV - thank you, Crest Whitening Strips! - and I love that he rolled his eyes at Simon. Between him and Chris S, it's going to be a good season, folks!

However, I'd take a mediocre performance by Brandon over a great performance from, oh I don't know - Sundance? Why is this guy in the Top 24 and more importantly, what is he hiding in that goatee? If he wants to remain on the show, he needs to spend less time gelling his hair and more time shaving that dog on his chin. His rendition of "Nights In White Satin" was awful. Just awful. Including his awkward Ricky Bobby hand gestures. Simon was more than generous when he likened the performance to a Dad at a wedding. But unfortunately for us, whenever Simon calls anyone a wedding singer, they go on to win (see Taylor Hicks).

Next came Paul. Was I the only one totally unable to understand a word he was saying until he got to the chorus? "Careless Whisper" was about the perfect song for Paul to sing, because I am quite certain that Paul is "never gonna dance" OR sing again, at least not on the Idol stage. Congratulations - you're barefoot! So am I! The only redeeming moment of Paul's performance occurred afterward, when a shoeless Shecrest pranced onto stage to show off his pedicure. Come out of the closet already!

Just when I thought that the Blades of Glory trailer would be most interesting thing I would watch on TV that night, Idol whips out one of its secret weapons: Chris R. I really don't remember seeing much of this guy during audition coverage, so when he promised to "rock out" I had my doubts. However - if anyone named Chris (Daughtry much?) promises to "rock out" - believe him! This guy was good! "I Don't Wannabe" was easily the best performance so far. He seemed very comfortable on stage, and was dressed to the nines. Well done, Chris.

Following Chris R was Nick. Two words, Nick: WRONG SONG. "Now and Forever" went on for all night, but at least he got all of his words right! FYI: Don't be fooled by the tears during his lead-in video. I'm pretty sure he was just still in pain from his eyebrow wax (which I'll bet $10 Shecrest booked for him).

Next came Blake. Our resident beat-boxer had something to prove tonight, and he came with both arms swinging. Blake sang "Somewhere Only We Know" perfectly, proving his versatility as an entertainer. He was also unusually calm and collected, displaying total stage presence. Blake said he wanted to "show America he came to sing." Note taken, Blake. At that point, he had sung the best performance of the night.

At this point in the telecast, my TV messed up and aired "America's Most Talented Kid" instead of Idol. At least that's what I thought was happening when I saw innocent, giggling Sanjaya. He giggles like a 12-year-old boy that's just seen his first boob. "Knock Me Off My Feet" was not quite what the song did. I felt like I was in the audience of a high school talent show. However poor the performance was, for some reason Simon would not let it go. Hey Mr. Cowell, this dead horse is really starting to smell. Can we move on? (PS - Sanjaya - Sundance has a razor that he's not using. Go borrow it and lose some of that hair, kid.)

Next came Chris S, or playing on his last name, Chris "Sly." Chris sang "Typical" and did an amazing job. His song selection was very smart - I'm sure I'm one of many viewers who was not familiar with this song. Rather than choose a widely known tune, Chris went with something he was able to make his own. He was in perfect pitch the whole song and seemed very comfortable on stage. The Chrises are here to stay, y'all. But if by some Jennifer Hudson-esque glitch the Idol gig doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure this kid has a future in stand-up comedy.

Following Chris was Jared, who sang "Back at One." Jared's got a good voice but his performance was not outstanding. He can count, though! Also, Jared has obviously been working with Ace from last season, learning the proper way to reach out longingly toward the camera and stare seductively. Nice work.

I did not expect much from AJ. A fifth time contestant, I would assume he'd have gotten the message around attempts three or four. However - AJ proved that some things are worth waiting for. His performance of "Never Too Much" was great, a total surprise. (Not worth waiting for? Paula dancing. This isn't Laker Girls practice - sit down!) Simon's praise, as backward as it was, was on the mark: AJ is better than we originally thought.

Rounding out the night's performances was Phil. He was my other favorite going into tonight. I was glad Phil clarified that he did not plan to miss the birth of his daughter, it just happened that way since she came early. As much as I love Idol, I would say someone who chose fame over family has his priorities messed up. After we got that out of the way, Phil took the stage. His eerie glare into the camera initially turned me off, but once he got into the chorus of "I Could Not Ask for More," I had chill bumps. Especially when he held the "all" in "all I've waited for." Phil's voice is as big as he is tall, and Idol completely saved the best for last. Before Randy said it, I'd already decided Phil was the best of the night.

My prediction: this week's male bottom dwellers are Rudy, Paul, Sanjaya, Sundance, Jared and Nick. I hope Rudy and Paul make the long journey home (maybe Paul will put on some shoes for the occasion). I wouldn't be upset or surprised if Sanjaya or Sundance go home, but I think due to their on-air exposure so far, we haven't seen the last of them yet.

Other things I noticed: American Idol got some new sponsors. The show, which used to be sponsored by Cingular, Coke and Ford, is now sponsored by the colors brown, gray and black. Time to spice up the wardrobe a bit, fellows. Remember Taylor's famous purple jacket? Me too.

I also must mention the sexual tension that has crept into the show. Whereas before, Shecrest and Simon used to just quarrel like siblings, now it's gotten awkward. Did you notice how flustered Shecreset got when Simon called him sweetheart? I think I saw him stomp his precious, pedicured foot. I think Simon has something on Shecrest. Maybe Simon caught him in an unfortunate situation and has blackmail on him. Maybe Shecrest has his panties in a wad because the judges picked only three contestants his height or shorter. Time will tell.

Also, Shecrest needs to save the pop culture references for his E! job. We hear enough about Britney's new haircut everywhere else, Ryan. Just let them sing.

I expect better from the girls tonight, but unfortunately, I won't be able to comment about it since I will not have internet access on my work trip. Till next week, talk amongst yourselves!

1 comment:

  1. Ok, I do like Seacrest's vest on night one. . .I have been actively looking for something like it.

    Here are my Season 6 predictions:

    Top 12: Brandon, Nick, Melinda, Chris S, Sabrina, Blake, Jordin, Phil, Stephanie, Lakisha, Gina, Chris R,

    Top 6: Brandon, Sabrina, Blake, Lakisha, Chris R, Melinda

    Top 4: Melinda, Blake, Lakisha, Sabrina

    Top 2: Melinda and Blake

    Season 6 American Idol: Melinda


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