Thursday, March 09, 2006


Okay, pardon the pun on the title of this post. Of course I'm going to talk about American Idol, but to say that my life is idle right now is pretty accurate. Not for too much longer, hopefully.

So, I really could have made this post Monday night, before the competition even started for this week and the judges stole my thunder with their guesses of who would be leaving the show. Better late than never, I guess, so in efforts to continue my psychic streak, going home tonight from the girls will be Kinnik and Melissa. No doubt about it. If they call the bottom three though, I would put Ayla in there, which is a hard decision to make. Ayla is good, but I don't think she is as fantastic as the judges are making her out to be... if not Ayla then Lisa. For the guys, Kevin and Will are heading home. I think Kevin Federline Bucky will round out the bottom three.

In related news, I finally figured out who Paula Abdul reminds me of. Are you ready for this?

Michael Jackson!

Okay, not 100% of the time, but avid watchers of the show will recall last week when she humiliated herself and was reprimanded by Seacrest himself! He asked her why she thought these contestants were in the bottom two and she said "Because she ate pizza and she ate a salad!?" and then burst into giggles. She said something else stupid but I have blocked it from my mind so as not to decrease my IQ by watching American Idol. Doesn't that type of crazy, did-she-really-just-say-that? behavior remind you of another loopy has-been pop star? One that wore his pajamas as he held an umbrella and danced on the roof of a car on his way to court? Paula and Michael pick the most inopportune times to do/say the dumbest stuff.

Furthermore, they both seem to have a predilection for younger boys. Younger would be a relative term here, since young to Michael is 12 or 13, while young to Paula is 15 to 25. Those are the ones she cheers loudest for on the show... and NOT just this season: does the name Corey Clarke ring a bell? Kevin and Will better watch out. She already called Kevin a "sex symbol". Honestly, after the way she has been acting, I think a wedge of lettuce would turn Paula on. Drugs will mess you up, Paula! Look at Whitney Housten! Crack for your back? That's whack!

Personally, I would rather them remove her ability to comment/"judge" performances and give each contestant an extra 30 seconds to sing. It's not like what she says really makes a difference anyway. It's just babbling. "From beginning to end, you're a star!" "I've always been a huge fan of yours." "This competition wouldn't be the same without you." On their own, those are some nice praises. But when you praise every single contestant, even the ones who I know, Paula knows, even the CONTESTANT himself knows stunk it up and did a bad job, it doesn't matter! She is metaphorically casting pearls before swine. When we see that happening, we are left to conclude two things: 1. the pearls have lost their value 2. the pearl-tosser (Ms. Abdul) has lost her mind.

At the end of the day, Randy is really the only one of the three judges who should be a judge. He is the only one who can play an instrument and actually sing (No, what Paula did in the late 80s/early 90s doesn't count as singing. She was famous for dancing to music which happened to feature her voice).

In summation, I will leave you with the following quote, by Chris Rock. Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest (may he rest in peace)!

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