Thursday, February 09, 2006


If my current daily routine doesn't pick up soon, this is going to be the most boring blog in the world. Here's hoping.

You know the FRIENDS episode (doesn't every stage of life relate to a FRIENDS episode?) where Ross is unemployed on sabbatical?

Ross: I reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf? Meats and dairy. Middle shelf? Fruits and vegetables. And top shelf? Expired products.
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Ross: Because I am bored out of my mind. I've already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners!
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. You've got to spread it out a little, you know. Haven't you ever been unemployed?
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!

My thoughts exactly, Joey. No more than three errands a day. In a little while, I get to go to the library. It should be noted that my excitement for that errand is not directly related to the fact that I have nothing else to do today... I LOVE the public library. I will take my kids there at least once a week. Then I'm going to exercise and then go see my grandad. Tomorrow, I'm getting a haircut and practicing with a pianist for Jamie's wedding (see below). Then on Saturday, Jennie and I are going to take our 5-year-old cousin ice skating.

Next week should be far more exciting. Jamie's getting married! Not only does it mean I have just over a week to find a date to the wedding, it also means that there's just over a week left until another one of my friends is officially off the market. (Side story: my four best friends from high school and I went to dinner the Tuesday before Christmas. Shortly after sitting down at the table, it dawned on me that one was married, two were engaged, and the fourth, sitting across from me, was dating someone. Upon my questioning, she assured me that it would be a "good long while" before she, too, was engaged... I'll be attending her wedding in August.)

Last week was Jamie's lingerie shower. If you ever want to learn a lot about married life (or be really uncomfortable), go to a lingerie shower where you're one of three people at the party that is not married or engaged. Newlyweds have no shame when it comes to doling out advice to brides to be. For example: did you know that breast feeding burns 600 calories everytime you do it? Maybe that's why everyone is in such a hurry to get get married. Marriage means having babies, and should you feed them via breast, you'll lose weight. It's not a complicated math equation: marriage is the means to a (tiny rear) end. Breast feeding was only one of the topics we touched on. My future husband (not that he's reading this: he better be toiling away at a well-paying job in the southeast region which he earned, no doubt, with his remarkable Auburn education and dazzling good looks) should get excited, because in one evening I saved us at least a couple of hundred dollars in sex therapy. Now if I could just find free therapy for all of the problems I'm actually facing.

1 comment:

  1. crack me up!! I totally agree. What is in the water people drink at Auburn?! They all think you have to get engaged before you graduate...then married before your 5th year friends graduate. I mean...what in the world?!
    I love you so much and think your boredom website is hilarious!! Just wish this post counted for my style and design class....


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