Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Since my last post, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by some of the people I love most dearly: best friends. They are the ones who know all about my life and current predicaments, the struggles and fears I'm trying to face, and who'll be there to celebrate when I escape the valley I feel like I'm trapped in. Over the weekend, I was blessed with the company of four such individuals.

Thursday night, I had dinner with my little breath of fresh air. We met up in Montgomery and dove right into Italian food and good conversation. One of the things I appreciate most about her is that just like Job's friends, she doesn't always try to offer advice or suggest how to make things better. She just listens and through her listening, comforts and encourages. (Side note: I think that's a big difference in guys and girls, actually, and why sometimes women and men say they can't understand each other. In the past, I've gone to boyfriends with a problem and the first thing they'll say is "Well, have you tried x? Think about doing y. What if z?" Thanks for the ideas, but let's be honest. All girls want to hear is "That sucks and I'm really sorry. I can't believe she did that to you. How unfair." Girls want sympathy, not solutions.) Anyway, we hit all the usual topics over dinner then wasted a little bit of time at the mall and Krispy Kreme before parting ways. There's something extremely comforting in knowing that however far apart you currently (or eventually will) live, there is a friend who will drive to meet you halfway just to catch up... A friend who makes you feel like a priority. If that's the only friend I ever have, then I have plenty.

Then, on Friday, another friend's wedding weekend kicked off. Of all of the special plans I have seen come to fruition in my life, nothing tops the story of how God led two of my closest friends to their husbands. It's funny: our senior year of high school, my five best friends and I were all in serious relationships. By the end of the year, all but two of us had broken the relationships off; my friend who got married yesterday and my friend who is getting married in May stayed in the relationships through some of college. In the case of those two girls, it was a rocky road that led to their breakups. Lots of fear and doubt since, after all, doesn't what we're used to and what we've already got make for the most comfortable, familiar path? However, once those relationships had ended and the girls did what they knew was right, as the hardest choices are usually the most rewarding choices, each one was led right to her husband. How cool is that? I am so proud to stand on stage beside each of my friends and celebrate their union to a man that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is so perfect for each of them (because I've seen them with what's NOT perfect for them). It was an emotional wedding, and the little bride was the picture of beauty and innocence. At the reception, I even got to visit with my friend getting married in May (and dance with her fiance, haha). I am so lucky to be turning my best friends over to the greatest guys!

Then on Sunday, another friend who got married last summer was in town! She came over and we looked at her wedding album and spent a little time catching up. Since she lives out of town now, I hardly get to see her face-to-face, so it was a fun time. She and I were great friends in ninth grade, then great friends again when we pledged the same sorority, and then great friends again when we lived together senior year, and it was then that we found ourselves in very similar boats. I think it is so interesting how the Lord brings certain people in and out of our lives at different seasons and stages of life, so we can appreciate them but also because if you take the time to ask, they might be going through exactly what you are, and you can help each other.

Obviously, we can't choose our family, but we can choose our friends, and in that regard I consider myself so lucky. I look at my friendships like finely sifted flour. In the past year, a lot of my friendships have faded. At first that made me sad and I did my best to keep up with everyone that had graduated or gotten married or didn't live next door anymore, but then I remembered all of that about different friends for different seasons. Just like in an orchestra, you can't have all of the instruments playing the whole time. But the friendships I have been able to maintain, the ones that involve genuine two-sided efforts, are the most rewarding. The metaphorical sifting of the flour (moves, graduations) has weeded out some not-so deep friendships and has left me with a solid group of friends.

So therefore, even though I am discontent and confused and frustrated, I am assured. No matter how much deeper this valley will get, or how much else the Lord will shake up my plans for the next day or week or year of my life, or how much my familiar and comfortable world will be rocked, as long as I have my best friends, I will go on.

1 comment:

  1. Your comment on men/woman is funny. It's true woman don't want solutions at all, but the Men offer the solutions because they are thinking "If I can solve this problem I won't have to hear about it anymore! and I'll be a hero!" hahaha hey no one ever said guys were smart, and I mean that. NO ONE. Guys are idiots, but I like it that way because there really isn't much of a standard for us guys.

    Tupac once said "Keep you head up"
    I'll leave you with that deep one.


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